Eff the etiquette talk..I AM having another shower

DomesticDiva0429 · November 2011

People can judge away and say I am tacky and I really could care less. Maybe calling it a shower is not so correct. I guess we are really going to have a diaper/YEAH full term baby party. I am not registering for things just asking for diapers but I am sure as hell going to show this baby the same level of excitement as my last and that means having a party to celebrate this gift of a new life.

I really like cooking and having a house full of people and I LOVE the eating cake part and sharing a moment with my close friends and family.

Just wanted to share my probably unpopular opinion on this...

DomesticDiva0429 · November 2011

shmeell25:
Are you throwing your own?

I am not sure but I would guess yes. DH likes to be REALLY Involved in this stuff and DH and I planned our last one and then DS came 13 weeks early and my MIL and SIL took it over for us and threw it together in like 2 weeks. It wasn't the shower I wanted but I couldn't be more thankful for them and what they did. We wanted more of a BBQ/hangout not so much about the gifts and games but that is what my MIL and SIL wanted. I am not so picky and I wanted them to be happy.

This time I would do the BBQ/Hangout..oh and don't forget the cake!

DawnLilly · November 2011

kudos. i think its all outdated. by time you have a baby shower you've been a monk for nearly seven or eight months especially if all your friends drink or smoke. just not your scene right now. throw your own party! gift don' have to be manditory but if its "baby celebration" related then your girls won't "party" party. dh is throwing his own baby shower the same night as mine (which a friend is throwing for me). a poker night with a diaper pack buy in.

theseaword · November 2011

::Backs out of post::

HuskerBabyB · November 2011

If someone offers to throw me a shower, I won't turn it down but I also won't EXPECT people to buy me things. If nobody offers, I certainly won't cry about it, and will have a BBQ or something after the baby is born to celebrate it.

bikernun · November 2011

I've had a shower for every baby. It was never my idea. I was told to register. With the 2nd I just registered for diapers and the basics. With my third because every thing was gone I had a full blown shower. This time around I'm not close to home and I know that no one but my husband and I are going to be excited about it so we'll get what ever and be happy that we got so much with the last. If you want to have another shower then I see nothing wrong with celebrating another beautiful life that is joining your family. Have fun.

celestialnyte · November 2011

I think that if someone else throws you a shower on your 2nd (or more) baby, then its a-okay. Throwing yourself a shower? Eh .... not something I'd do. But I would do something like a lunch get together, and call it a "celebration of a full term baby." Gifts wouldn't be necessary (not that they are at a shower, either) but if someone wanted to bring something, then more power to them. I do understand wanting to celebrate the 2nd baby as much as the 1st. Every baby is a gift, not just the first one.

DomesticDiva0429 · November 2011

DawnLilly:
kudos. i think its all outdated. by time you have a baby shower you've been a monk for nearly seven or eight months especially if all your friends drink or smoke. just not your scene right now. throw your own party! gift don' have to be manditory but if its "baby celebration" related then your girls won't "party" party. dh is throwing his own baby shower the same night as mine (which a friend is throwing for me). a poker night with a diaper pack buy in.

I LOVE that idea! The fun isn't all just for us. I love to hear when a guy gets involved in it. Actually, I would rather have a poker themed party then baby games and whatnot..I have never really been into all that stuff. And gifts are NEVER a requirement to me, I really just like to celebrate with people and like I said I LOVE to cook and entertain. It is probably more so just a reason to cook and eat cake

Gismo123 · November 2011

DomesticDiva0429:
shmeell25:
Are you throwing your own?
I am not sure but I would guess yes. DH likes to be REALLY Involved in this stuff and DH and I planned our last one and then DS came 13 weeks early and my MIL and SIL took it over for us and threw it together in like 2 weeks. It wasn't the shower I wanted but I couldn't be more thankful for them and what they did. We wanted more of a BBQ/hangout not so much about the gifts and games but that is what my MIL and SIL wanted. I am not so picky and I wanted them to be happy.
This time I would do the BBQ/Hangout..oh and don't forget the cake!

I don't think it's tacky if someone OFFERS to throw you a shower even if you've had one before but I DO think it's tacky that you're throwing yourself one then are going to tell everyone to bring diapers.

I would let someone else throw it and be grateful for whatever people bring.

STW14 · November 2011

Maybe instead of having a "shower" for yourself, you could wait till the baby is born and have a "meet and greet". Send out invites (almost like an open house) for people to come meet the baby. You can have some light snacks or make it like a tea party with finger sandwiches and beverages, etc. Obviously gifts wouldn't be required, but I'm sure people wouldn't show up empy handed to come meet the new baby.

ambiep · November 2011

I think it's pretty tacky to throw your own shower too. I think something after the baby is born as a meet and great is way more appropriate. People that want to give you gifts will whether you have a shower or not. I think people forget the purpose of having a shower in the first place for a first baby is to help get things you don't have that are needed. By a second baby you have that stuff from the first baby. Every birth is special.

Duewith2nd · November 2011

I'm having a gender reveal party. It's not going to be about getting gifts. It's also going to be much smaller then the shower was. But this baby deserves a party too.

paxilchyk · November 2011

I'm all for another shower to celebrate this LO if someone wants to throw it for me. I think it is tacky to throw your own shower at any point be it your first or fifth pregnancy. A meet the baby party is perfectly acceptable to throw yourself though!

DomesticDiva0429 · November 2011

I find it very interesting that you ladies all think someone has to throw your shower for you. What if you don't have any/many family members but only have friends? Then what? You shouldn't have a party and invite your friends to celebrate and not burden them with the party planning part. I guess you all are bless with large families or people that can and want to throw you a party. I am not that lucky. I have an amazing network of friends that I love like family and my in laws but my mom and sister are horrible people. Well, this is why I love to live in America..We are all allowed to have a difference of opinion along with our very different family situations.

jess9802 · November 2011

A shower is a party hosted in someone's honor for the purpose of showering the guest of honor with gifts to get her started (as a bride or a new mother). The guest of honor should never be the hostess of a shower - it's rude. There is nothing stopping you from hosting a dinner party or BBQ for friends and family if you want them to meet the baby and celebrate his or her arrival. Why not do that?

RioG1978 · November 2011

I want to know how you are all thinking about this stuff so soon!

ahappyrobot · November 2011

STW14:
Maybe instead of having a "shower" for yourself, you could wait till the baby is born and have a "meet and greet". Send out invites (almost like an open house) for people to come meet the baby. You can have some light snacks or make it like a tea party with finger sandwiches and beverages, etc. Obviously gifts wouldn't be required, but I'm sure people wouldn't show up empy handed to come meet the new baby.

I think this is the way to go, too. I just went to a meet and greet party... it was fun! And although they weren't expected, most people brought gifts anyway to celebrate the little one... their 4th. Super baby-oriented, but fun for momma (wine! socializing!) male guests, and those that don't want to guess the flavor of baby food.

cchill01 · November 2011

STW14:
Maybe instead of having a "shower" for yourself, you could wait till the baby is born and have a "meet and greet". Send out invites (almost like an open house) for people to come meet the baby. You can have some light snacks or make it like a tea party with finger sandwiches and beverages, etc. Obviously gifts wouldn't be required, but I'm sure people wouldn't show up empy handed to come meet the new baby.

this! I think you can throw a party, just please don't call it a 'shower.' You might not think it's tacky, but some of your guests will. I also don't think you can request diapers or anything specific.

Tracy6450 · November 2011

I think it's tacky to ask for diapers..regardless of a 2nd shower, meet the baby -whatever you want to call it.

mbs79 · November 2011

DomesticDiva0429:
I find it very interesting that you ladies all think someone has to throw your shower for you. What if you don't have any/many family members but only have friends? Then what? You shouldn't have a party and invite your friends to celebrate and not burden them with the party planning part. I guess you all are bless with large families or people that can and want to throw you a party. I am not that lucky. I have an amazing network of friends that I love like family and my in laws but my mom and sister are horrible people. Well, this is why I love to live in America..We are all allowed to have a difference of opinion along with our very different family situations.

I have to agree with some of the other posters. A shower is intended for important firsts in a woman's life. I wouldn't want a second wedding shower if, God forbid, I ever married again. I'm not opposed to a shower for a second baby if someone wanted to throw you one, but throwing your own comes off as gift grabby. I think the idea of hosting a meet the baby BBQ is a great way to share baby with friends.

Also, I don't think your family situation plays into having another shower or not. Not everyone has a family to throw a shower, but it shouldn't be an excuse to throw one for yourself.

Just my $0.02.

DomesticDiva0429 · November 2011

Okay, to the question as to why I am think about it so soon..Just because I saw some post about it..

I am defiantly not going to call it a shower more of a BBQ and I HATE the idea of a meet and greet with a new born who is susceptible to catching all kinds of sicknesses. My DS was born 13 weeks early and we were in hiding for almost a year before I would bring him around large groups of people. I would have never forgiven myself if he would have gotten sick.

I appreciate all of the opinions and POV's but I really don't understand why people are so caught up in doing the "right" thing. If the people in your life are for it then it doesn't matter what the etiquette books say. My SIL actually suggested this idea because I shot her down for the total shower part. We really don't need any gifts and I don't want them ( but would be appreciative and thankful). Well, I guess that is enough of this topic and I can be labeled miss tacky and still sleep well at night

InLove621 · November 2011

Why not have one for you're second! If we decide to have another after our first, you dang skippy I plan on having another shower. Enjoy the party and have a blast.

reyhan29mansur · November 2011

I agree that its perfectly ok to have a shower for your second or more babies, especially if they are different genders, or have large age spans. I'm not sure about throwing one for myself, but I have plenty of friends and family who are fighting over the chance to throw mine

But if I had noone to throw one for me, and everyone was comfortable with it, I guess I would throw my own... I'm not sure I would ask for specific gifts or anything, but that's your choice to do as you please.

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Eff the etiquette talk..I AM having another shower

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