MIL sending out holiday cards with DD's pic...strange?

Doozieanne · November 2008

She just called and told me she is using a pic of Hailey to send out as their Christmas cards. We are also doing this because....she is our daughter. I have mixed feelings about this. We send our cards to the same people in the family. Would you be okay with your parents or in-laws doing that? I am just afraid we will send out the same pic (she won't tell me which one for some reason)...and I like to be the one the show her off! Yay or nay to MIL sending them out?

mason15 · November 2008

We got a card last year from a grandparent, but it had pics of their whole family and then one of just the baby. I'd probably be okay with it, but would make her tell me what picture it is so that you don't use the same one. It's a little odd since you're sending them to the same people, but I have seen it done.

Aprilsies · November 2008

That is a little strange - I honestly don't know how I would handle that. Whats with the keeping the pic a secret?!?! Even more strange. does she think its her kid??

KeepingItLowKey · November 2008

I don't know, it doesn't seem weird to me. My MIL would never do it because she has 12 grandkids already and 4 great grandkids, but with my mom it's her first grandchild. She's sending a pic of all of us though- my parents, my brother and his wife, and my husband, daughter, and myself. It will be taken when we visit in December.

chalmette · November 2008

Don't take this as a personal slam against you. You are like the 40th person to post this exact thing, and I've just about had it with the IL-bashing around here.

BUT -- your DD is your ILs' granddaughter! Why does just about everyone on this board hate their ILs so much? They have a claim to her, too. They can't be proud of her and want to show her off? Would you trust them to baby-sit? Are they given the role of Grandma & Grandpa? Are they decent people?

Maybe I've gone soft, but if my ILs wanted to send out Christmas cards with my boys' pic on it, I would help them take the pic and then help them design the cards!

bostonfingerlakes07 · November 2008

I think it's weird.

MIL and my own Mother gave us addresses to send our birth announcements and holiday cards (friends of theirs, only people we also knew) and that seemed a lot more "normal".

Doozieanne · November 2008

I haven't been on here in a couple weeks so I didn't know it had been posted. And I didn't say I hate them....I don't. BUT...she acts very competitive towards me...like she wants HER card to be the best. Just asking for opinions....that's all.

VTbride05 · November 2008

I think that a holiday card is odd... unless she sends a pic of her and your daughter. And with this being baby's first Christmas I would reserve rights to send her photo card.

Joes_love · November 2008

it's wierd, but i'm totally expecting this from my MIL.

she also sent out my wedding picture as her christmas card 2 years ago. i hate it. i had specifically requested NOT to be on their photo card- sorry, but i think photo cards of adults are just dorky....and not only does she ignore my request, she picks a wedding picture to send.

I reserve the right to send my son's picture out for christmas cards. just like I reserve the right to buy his first christmas ornament.

mrszimm · November 2008

I don't think it's a big deal, as long as you don't send the same picture. She's just proud of her granddaughter. I agree w/ a previous poster, I'd probably help MIL pick out a photo.

brandonswife07 · November 2008

i wouldn't like that one bit.

MI-bride · November 2008

Honestly, I would be not happy. My sil wanted to give a gift to my mil that was a picture of my DS. That was all the pitcure was of, just DS. She wanted me to take one, have it printed and give it to her to give to MIL.

I understand that many of us are fed up with our ILs, I am too. I am working on a photo book for xmas so pitcures to the grandparents have been limited to the ones that I know that I am not going to use.

here have been days where MIL has invited herself over, was rude to me and took a ton of pitcures of my DS and then immediatley left - not wanting to hang out with us. It is not like she isn't getting any photos, just not all the ones we have.

I don't like the thought that someone has "claim" to my child, becuase they don't. Yes, they are grandparents, but they don't have a claim to them. My MIL thought that it was funny that her father hurt my child - just to hear him cry. Why does she deserve to have a "claim" to DS when she thought that was funny?

uhlerj · November 2008

I think it is.

BlueRidgeMama · November 2008

Totally annoying.

Luckystar2 · November 2008

I think its weird that they wont tell you what pic. I would want to know so I didnt pick the same. But I actually think it would be cute for in laws to do a pic of them with your DC.

OUMedBride · November 2008

I would definitely mind... I would tell MIL sorry but she's MY kid, she goes on MY christmas card.

lanie26 · November 2008

a lot of you are weird. sending out pics of a grandbaby offends you?

She's proud of her granddaughter and its her first christmas with the family.

I can't imagine being offended/hurt/upset/weirded out by that.

Sad really. Unless your ILs are completely psycho, who cares?

Brougham7-15-06 · November 2008

I think it is weird....

StellaJane · November 2008

This would really annoy me. It's your daughter to show off. I'm a little selfish when it comes to DD. Since she is doing it, she should absolutely tell you which picture she is using.

And then you make yours better and more awesome, haha.?

wishin&hopin2008 · November 2008

Seriously I don't really think it is that strange that she wants to send out a picture of your DC, I DO think it is strange that she won't tell you what picture it is. I would explain that you don't want to send the same picture and that you need to know. If she won't tell you which picture it is, tell her you are uncomfortable with the concept then.

shwebb · November 2008

I think the whole thing sounds like a big control issue since she won't tell you which picture she's sending. And I think ILs sending a picture of your kid is weird in a way I can't put my finger on--it's just one of those things that the parents should get to do, not the grandparents. They've had their kids and their chance to delight in things like that, they should let you have the same experience and not make you share it with them.

2BWEDN2007 · November 2008

I agree with chalm. I don't see anything wrong with it and don't get why there have been 2 dozen posts about this in the past week, HOWEVER, I would demand to know what picture she is sending and if it was the picture I had planned on using I would veto her choice of picture. Especially if you are sending your cards to the same people and since you are family I assume you are.

I would also prefer my pictures went out first so I would send them out super early.

Mrs.McLovin · November 2008

I would mind. It is the parent's who get to send out pics of the kids, not the grandparents. I would be mad that she won't even tell you which picture.

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