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April 2012 Moms
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I should have been a lesbian..

stephlas8stephlas8 member
in April 2012 Moms
because men just DON'T GET IT! I am on a week of bed rest and can't do a damn thing. I am recovering from a sinus, ear, upper respitory, yeast and urinary tract infection that gave me heart arthmias and severe dehydration. It sucks, my body is exhausted. The nurse told me to lay on the couch, eat, drink water, and sleep. DH comes home every day this week, sits on the couch by me and changed the channel. Don't mind the dishwasher that needs to be unloaded so that all the dirty dishes on the counter can be loaded or the laundry on the table that isn't folded or the paint I bought for the nursery 2 weeks ago and had planned on painting this week sometime. Or you know, the dog that's whining and needs to go for a walk or the kleenex she chewed up and has strewn about the floor. No big deal. He got a text last night and asked me to read it to him... It was from his brother saying "will do." I of course inquired as to what he will do and DH said "get me a ticket to the Clemson game this weekend." I was shocked... And pissed. Here I am, bored to death, alone all day feeling like sh!t, looking forward to the weekend where I won't be alone and that the house may be leaned ad what does he do? Plan on going to a fvcking football game. I'd LOVE to go to the game with him. But my feelings are hurt. Am I being unreasonable or am I right that he's being an asshat?! I need help right nowand am feeling pretty alone... :( DH has never acted like this- he's always helpful and understanding but for some reason he thinks I should ... (I just lost my train of thought and since I'm bumping from my phone I can't see where I was. Damn you pregnancy brain!)
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Re: I should have been a lesbian..

  • funkymonkeyohyeahhhfunkymonkeyohyeahhh member
    So sorry he is being so insensitive! Men just don't get it. Have you told him? My husband is much the same that he would be absolutely clueless unless I flat out told him what I needed him to do and how miserable I was.
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  • ImThisBabysMomImThisBabysMom member

    Last week when I was bad sick and did absolutely nothing but sleep, eat and use the bathroom....oh and bump a little from my phone.......DH would come home and not do anything. He might make dinner for us but that was it. EVERY night he would say he should do dishes but never did. I am not expected to do his laundry but I will just do it.....he did his and never touched mine. Like WTF H?

    Men don't get it at all. I don't blame you for being upset. And when the weekend came, I told him to just go out because I was tired of hearing him say stuff about the house being a mess while he did nothing about it.

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  • stephlas8stephlas8 member
    It won't let me edit from my phone- I was going to say that DH expects me to keep up with him and do everything just like I did pre-pregnancy. I've tried to talk to him but he convinces himself he's not being like that. It's so frustrating.
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  • funkymonkeyohyeahhhfunkymonkeyohyeahhh member
    :( I'm sorry. I know you must be really frustrated, but don't let him push you to do anything your body can't handle. Men have a hard time understanding pregnancy because they can never experience it. Big hugs and I hope it gets better.
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  • erniebuffloerniebufflo member
    You're not being unreasonable. You need to have a conversation about how he needs to be picking up some slack and being more sensitive to your needs, not just now, but as you bring another person into your household. And it would be super weird in my house for hubby to make solo plans on a weekend for something major like a football game without running it by me first. I'd be pissed, too.

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  • JFH2010JFH2010 member
    DH and I are long-distance right now, but I HEAR YA. Last year I had an event that prevented me from keeping up with household tasks, and he did not pick up the slack AT ALL. He is an amazing, wonderful, thoughtful person who is completely blind to dust, clutter, etc. It drove me nuts, and I did not communicate well with him about it (I basically would ignore it until I got really upset, then get mad about one thing, then he would apologize profusely and do that one thing...but I never addressed that this was a pattern, and that I needed extra help regularly). My only suggestion would be to keep talking to him about it, and make sure he understands both the big and small pictures - e.g, here is the bigger issue, and here are the specific things I need help with.
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  • mumegsmumegs member
    The funny thing is when a man is sick, everything has to come to a stop, like the world is ending. They just lay in bed and go I'm siiiick will you make me chicken soup?? Then when you are sick they have short term memory loss and assume you should still be cleaning/cooking/doing laundry. Every time DH is sick I go, you better remember how this feels when I am the one sick and you're healthy, of course he never does.
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  • TjIzzy2009TjIzzy2009
    I would call a cleaning lady and use his credit card!!!
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  • ateal2490ateal2490 member

    I suggest beating him.

    But I never suggested that if you actually do ;)

     

    But seriously. Wtf DH....

    I'm sorry he's not helping.

    You need a sexy man-maid.


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  • ateal2490ateal2490 member
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  • JFH2010JFH2010 member
    imageateal2490:
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    Between this and the otter post, my day has been made.
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  • lauracklaurack

    aw you poor thing!

    unfortunately men can be really clueless. i complain about feeling yucky etc. and -oh the dishes.. oh the cooking.. and he says oh poor thing, feels sorry for me etc. and is very sweet but he would never think to actually do the dishes or cook something. I know it isn't fair to expect him to know things and if I said DO THE DISHES he probably would but still.

    men eh.

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  • stephlas8stephlas8 member
    um yes please sexy man maid! DH just texted and said he's going to get a drink with some of the guys tonight. I feel like such a puss for crying (can I say that on TB?)
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  • jesbethjesbeth member
    imageerniebufflo:
    You're not being unreasonable. You need to have a conversation about how he needs to be picking up some slack and being more sensitive to your needs, not just now, but as you bring another person into your household. And it would be super weird in my house for hubby to make solo plans on a weekend for something major like a football game without running it by me first. I'd be pissed, too.
    This. I just saw he's going out tonight. It sounds like he might be avoiding a lot of his feelings. It's possible he's feeling overwhelmed, and maybe even helpless but instead of communicating, he's being a dink. :( I hope you can have a good talk and resolve some of these issues.
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  • PinkSapphiresPinkSapphires member

    imageateal2490:
    image

    I think I might have just fallen in love with you ateal.

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  • PinkSapphiresPinkSapphires member

    imagestephlas8:
    um yes please sexy man maid! DH just texted and said he's going to get a drink with some of the guys tonight. I feel like such a puss for crying (can I say that on TB?)

    I would cry too, out of frustration and loneliness. It's not like you want to be feeling like this. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! I might remind him of your vows, "in sickness and in health" not, "in sickness DH can take off on the weekend for a football game." He should have at least asked you. You need him right now, and he should be there for you.

    Sorry, girl. Sad {{hugs}} 

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  • MamasaurusMamasaurus member

    Poor thing! He def. shouldn't be worried about a football game while you are on bedrest.

    I haven't had it as bad as you, but not long ago we got into a huge fight because I wasn't keeping our pets quiet enough one night when he had to work from home. It was the day after I got my flu shot, so I had a fever, and my back was sore from going up and down the stairs doing laundry. I know he doesn't like having to work all night, but they weren't even really being loud! Sheesh.

    Of course, I totally get the title of your post. I used to date somebody who is a MW now and once or twice I have thought, "If I was having a baby with her, SHE wouldn't  [fill in the blank]." I pretty much always feel horrible after thinking it, though.

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