Stealing names?

LCLaw3 · November 2011

So we are almost positive that we are having a girl (guess we'll find out for sure next Friday). However, I wanted to know everyone's thoughts on using "someone elses" baby name. First off, I love my cousins baby's middle name (to be used for a first name in my case), but I'm worried that it may cause family havoc if I use it. Second, the other name me and my husband like is a name our friends liked before they found out they were having a boy.

My question is...if im really in love with either one of those names, can I use them? or should I just avoid them so that we dont have to deal with any resulting drama?

(by the way...if we have a boy we have a drama free name we love...how easy would that be...but Dr.'s pretty positive its a girl...)

JaclynFlav · November 2011

My husband has a friend who is stealing my daughters name, just changing the spelling a little bit and I hate it!!! I think it is better to find another name than copy a close friend or relative.

kiarstin · November 2011

I don't think you can steal a name! Everyone hears a name from someone, it just so happens that your favorite name is from someone you know. I don't see why you should have to pick a different name. A middle name would be even less of an issue. Its not like they use it all the time and if they were in the same room most wouldnt even know they share a name since one is first and one is middle

Ivana_Stolichnaya · November 2011

You can't put dibs on a name, some people don't understand that.

BOTB2011 · November 2011

This is the exact reason why we are not telling anyone once we pick a name. A close friend is also pregnant and I can totally see her stealing our name if she likes it. AND yes I do realize that I don't "own" a name before it gets into that debate again. LOL

Why would a middle name as a first name cause havoc? Is there more to the story there?

For the friend that you want to use their name since they are having opposite gender, could you talk to them about it? Not sure how close you are or how often you see them.

LCLaw3 · November 2011

well my cousin made a pretty big deal about the middle name...kept it a secret until her birth. And they are the type of people to like a lot of attention and spectacle...so they would probably see it as us "copying" or "overshadowing" them rather than us just liking the name... which we arent that way at all. I liked the meaning of it from a baby book and the way it sounds with our last name

and in our friends case...they really didnt even tell us that they loved or even liked that name until we got together the other night and we said we are probably having a girl...and they mentioned that if they had a girl it would have been named the name we like.

I dont technically know if either one of them would really be angry or mad, im just speculating. But I also dont want to cause problems either... I'm not trying to steal anything from anyone...and I would never try to steal someones child's first name, but technically this is neither, and i dont really know if it should matter to me or not

treble_clef · November 2011

Are they really unique names? If they are very popular names, it might not be an issue. I think your cousin's baby's middle name is okay.

However, as far as your friend goes, does she plan on having any more children? I think she told you the name because she wants to use that name if she has a girl in the future. I have a feeling she won't be happy if you use the name.

With that said, no one can reserve a name after all...

gisa886 · November 2011

If you are good enough friends with this person I would go to them and tell them that you really love the name they were wanting to name a girl in the future and see if she minded you using it. If she said yes, you can choose from there what you want to do. I'd be up front about it. As far as the cousin goes I'd use it. If she were called by her middle name I'd probably choose something different though. DH's cousin was pregnant at the same time we were. She was due in June and I was due in November and we were both having girls. We had picked out Leah Hazel a long, long time before we ever got pregnant due to special meanings of both names. We call our daughter Hazel and then cousin has the baby and her middle name is Hazel after a family member on the mom's side. She isn't upset that our kids have the same middle name.

Jazzyashes84 · November 2011

Ivana.Stolichnaya:
You can't put dibs on a name, some people don't understand that.

and people WILL get over it. It's a name you want your baby to have, use whatever you want

AnaJourney · November 2011

Name your child whatever you want. You can't "steal" a name.

rlbpgc · November 2011

Have you thought about asking them? or are you afraid if you do they will say no and then you can't use the names.

Also, I am curious to what the names are.

TaylorandMel · November 2011

I got my aunts middle name for my middle name, and my cousin got it for a first name. We are using my cousins first name for a middle name. It has never been a issue in our family. In fact, my mom says she didn't use a name because someone else used it, and now she regrets it.

LCLaw3 · November 2011

the cousins middle name is Kennedy and the friends name was to be Regan. Those have really been our top picks, so I think if I decide on the friends name ill ask first, and if I decide on the cousins middle name i think I'll just go for it...

Thanks for all the responses!

December192009 · November 2011

Oooh, this is a touchy subject in my house. My hubby's best friend and his wife just had their first baby and used DH's great grandmother's name which they knew we were saving for our DD. They had even commented that they thought the name was ugly a year ago when we were sharing possible names. It became the straw that broke the camels back in their friendship.

On the other hand, if it's some one you don't see very often, I don't think its a big deal if you use the same name, especially if its something you just truly admire. I rarely see my own cousins anymore, so using a similar name really wouldn't be a big deal. GL!

lissag24 · November 2011

Ask first, don't just use someones name.

MrsJM11 · November 2011

I think where it's a middle name and a name that they didn't use, it isn't bad at all. They may never have a girl, so who is it hurting for you to use that name? And no one really uses middle names so same with that

Just my opinion... I wouldn't be bothered at all. My cousin's son and my little baby boy will have the same middle name she just thought it was cute

tayrob1986 · November 2011

Don't do that. It's not a good idea.

tayrob1986 · November 2011

mj.reilly:
Cardinal Rules of Baby Naming
1. Nobody owns a name; therefore, nobody can steal 'your' name.
2. She who has a baby first, gets to name a baby first.
3. It's your baby, therefore you get to pick the name you like.

But if you got the name from that person, then it is stealing. No ma'am.

ebrooke · November 2011

Just go ask them. We gave our son a different name and a college friend contacted me a few months ago saying they loved it and wanted to use it for their son. We were flattered. And I agree with PPs, nobody owns a name. And those names are not that unique or different.

pinksandbermuda · November 2011

So it sounds like

1. Is currently a middle name- don't really see anything wrong with using that

2. Was a friend's choice of a girl name, but they are having a boy.- that may only become a problem if they have a girl in the future, who knows what will happen. They may change their mind by then.

Jess0619 · November 2011

If you and your husband really like the names, use them. Names can't be stolen since it's not as if someone owns the rights to them.

JNoelleE · November 2011

Just ask yourself, "How would I feel if the rolls were reversed?" And be honest.

JNoelleE · November 2011

JNoelleE:
Just ask yourself, "How would I feel if the rolls were reversed?" And be honest.

And I would be pissed. Just sayin'.

cikangell · November 2011

JNoelleE:
JNoelleE:
Just ask yourself, "How would I feel if the rolls were reversed?" And be honest.
And I would be pissed. Just sayin'.

Exactly this. I think this is actually what motivates this question being asked in the first place- people knowing that it would irk them.

Yes, legally/technically NO ONE can own a name. But we live in the real world with real people, who have feelings and personalities and are able to carry a grudge.

Eleni&Josh · November 2011

I find this whole topic amusing because I am having the opposite problem. In my culture you are supposed to name children after grandparents and there is even a particular order of which grandparents first, etc... What winds up happening is that all the cousins wind up having the same names. You have no idea what it's like to have 5 Evalyn's in one house at the same time. Also, middle names are usually taken from the father so both my brother's share a middle name, and my sister has the feminine version of the same name for her middle name. I actually didn't get a middle name (weird, and totally off topic). I am actually breaking tradition and am going with names that no one else in my family has, and actually, no one I know has them either. This is what causes drama in my family. Basically, in my culture it's seen as an honor to have someone name their child after someone else. Who knows, maybe each of these people would feel honored as well. You never know unless you ask.

shannonkma · November 2011

just ask them. personally, I wouldn't have a problem if a friend, or anyone else, used my child's name. I don't see why anyone should have a problem with it. there are other kid's out there with the same name, so who cares if my friend's kid does too?

jeyoder2 · November 2011

You know what I'm dealing with this situation but I am the one where the name is getting stolen. Granted right now we aren't pregnant at the moment but we've been trying. When I found out my cousin's wife was prego I was so excited. When we were talking about it we were talking about names and trying to bond I told her our names in confidence. I also asked her not take them b/c my husband and I take forever to agree on something. However she stole the first and middle name of one of our baby names and just recently found out their back up name is our number one choice that we have had picked before we got married. I am really upset about this due to the fact that I told her not to take them and that it took us YEARS to figure out a name we could agree. Honestly, if she would have asked before she announced it I wouldn't be as upset and told her how I felt about everything. But if you're truly passionate about this ask her and see what her thoughts are on it b/c honestly you don't know if they'll be upset and how long did it take them to find it? Especially if your family. Then make your final decision after the conversation.

Furbrae88 · November 2011

I think the name Kennedy is really cute, but it is way too popular these days. Reagan is cute and has been around for a while. I used to work at Disneyland, and if there is a place to hear every name, that is it. I personally do not want something popular and common. Also me and my ex are Jen and Brad, how boring haha. Pick your favorite name that you love.

J+E · November 2011

I don't think anyone can steal or call "dibs" as PPs have said. There are only so many names out there, and if you love the name, use it. Personally, I wouldn't do it if another child we were close to already had the name.

Ms. Mamacita · November 2011

Furbrae88:
I think the name Kennedy is really cute, but it is way too popular these days.

Very popular...it was on my list at first...that quickly changed...

BarbourWales04 · November 2011

I have two cousins who both named their daughters the same thing. One of the girls goes by her middle name, and the other by her first name, which is the exact same name.

When in doubt, ask. In my opinion, there are WAY too many names out there to step on someone's toes for the sake of one. If this is a hill you want to die on, so be it, but I'd come up with a backup you love, just in case.

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