BF'ing mothers, how much DH contribute?

binkydusty2 · November 2011

Hi ladies,

If you BF, how does DH help you out at night with LO?

Mr. & Mrs. RN · November 2011

He doesn't. He gets a good night's sleep so he can help me out during the day. We have a toddler, so it's hard to get a nap. He watches the kids during the day when I need to nap.

jcia1208 · November 2011

Our routine is that when DD wakes up, DH changes her and then I feed her while he goes back to bed. He works so I don't expect any more than that. I love it because I'm usually so tired and dread getting out of bed. So I just have to sit up and then by the times she's done eating, I'm awake enough to put her back down to sleep.

dragon_chica · November 2011

Diaper changes and if he's extra fussy he helps with getting DS back to sleep. I usually try to do it myself but if I can't do it and I'm getting too tired then I'll wake DH. I work FT as well (going back next week) so I have zero problems with waking him up for support.

julieb00lie · November 2011

He doesn't help at night. With DD, for the first few weeks, he would change her diaper, burp her, and soothe her back to sleep. Once my lady parts were healed and I could move around easier, I did it all. With DS ive been doing it all at night since day one. He helps out in many other ways during the day. In fact, I feel very lucky to have him. But I'm on my own during the night.

sytom · November 2011

He doesn't help at night, but he takes care of LO in the evening between feedings so I can get a good nap.

jgoetz1 · November 2011

He doesn't in the middle of the night since he works and I am home on FMLA. When I go back to work, he'll give her a bottle of BM during our late night feeding he said. For now he gives her a bottle of my BM at 7:30 and puts her down to bed.

adge_dave · November 2011

He doesn't help out at night. I try not to wake him w her crying it just depends on the night.

CurbsideProphet · November 2011

He does diaper changes. He will also help get her back to sleep sometimes.

adri77 · November 2011

He really didn't and I'm sure he won't this time.....DH likes to tell his first time daddy friends that it's great when mom BF's b/c then you don't have to do anything....he's mostly joking! But it's true....he helped more with DS1 when he was our one and only, making sure he did the diapering afterwards. But with DS2, I would rather him sleep all night, and then be the one to get up early in the morning (before work) and do as much for DS1 as he could. It will be doubley true for this baby. I'd rather him sleep and get up early and get my big boys ready for the day.

brittas · November 2011

Ummmmm no. He stays fast asleep. DS sleeps in our room so if I try to let him fuss a bit to see if the will fall asleep on his own, DH will let me know he is crying... THANKS I KNOW!

TeacherVicky · November 2011

DH always gets up with me. We don't change DS the first time he wakes up, but DH changes his diaper for the second feeding.

We also alternate who stays up after the feeding to put DS back to sleep. He has reflux so we keep him upright on us for at least 15 minutes after he nurses. DS also doesn't go down "drowsy but awake" unfortunately, so we have to make sure he's out cold before putting him down.

mabst196 · November 2011

Not at all. Dd is his responsibility if she wakes up which she frequently does.

romanceondemand · November 2011

My DH doesn't help and I don't expect him to. He works during the day so he needs to sleep at night. I stay home so I don't really need to sleep as much. Plus, DD hardly wakes up; even when she does wake up she is more asleep than awake. If that makes sense, lol.

jeninedesouza · November 2011

romanceondemand:
My DH doesn't help and I don't expect him to. He works during the day so he needs to sleep at night. I stay home so I don't really need to sleep as much. Plus, DD hardly wakes up; even when she does wake up she is more asleep than awake. If that makes sense, lol.

this

TeacherVicky · November 2011

romanceondemand:
My DH doesn't help and I don't expect him to. He works during the day so he needs to sleep at night. I stay home so I don't really need to sleep as much. Plus, DD hardly wakes up; even when she does wake up she is more asleep than awake. If that makes sense, lol.

kim1989 · November 2011

My FI sleeps every night and I get up... hes a heavy sleeper anyway and I dont see the point of us both being up for no reason when only I can feed her

Sobe816 · November 2011

brittas:
Ummmmm no. He stays fast asleep. DS sleeps in our room so if I try to let him fuss a bit to see if the will fall asleep on his own, DH will let me know he is crying... THANKS I KNOW!

THIS! sometimes i wanna hit him when he decides to state the obvious! lol

XSailoretteX · November 2011

He really tried to at first. It took a little time to convince him that there was NO point in him getting up. It actually drove me a little crazy the first couple of weeks because he'd want to "see if he could do anything" before I fed DS at night. That meant listening to 20 minutes of the most awful crying before I could feed DS and start trying to get him back to sleep. I'd yell at DH to just give me the f&#($ing baby and he'd give me some variation of "But I'm helping! Go get some sleep!"while DS screamed his poor little head off.

Not our finest hour, but definitely over.

Soon2BMrsN · November 2011

He doesn't anymore. When we first came home from the hospital and I was in the early days of recovering from my c/s, he would get up with me since he was off work. Now that he's back to work, I let him sleep. There's not much he can do, and he works 10-12 hour days.

Liz4444 · November 2011

We were going to split the night shift, he would do the 1am with ebm and I would do the 4am. He wanted the 1am so he'd get a good stretch of sleep before having to get up for work. She no longer is waking up at 4am, so he's doing the nights! He actually won't really let me help. Last night he came home with a migraine and asked me if I would do the feeding because he wasn't feeling well... so I got up, changed her, started to give her the bottle and he pretty much grabbed her out of my arms, finished feeding her and put her back down.

I'm lucky, he's been really helpful. He also has really good hours, he's home by 5:30 most nights, so he does a lot.

red1976 · November 2011

No - it's just me. We had 2 really bad nights early on when LO wouldn't sleep at all and he got up because I was beside myself, running on no sleep. He works and I'm at home for now so it's all me during the night. On the weekend he takes her after her morning feed (EBF) and let's me sleep in.

Hazelnut2832 · November 2011

For the first few nights when baby was up all night we traded shifts, now that she's on a better schedule and only waking up a few times (usually 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.), we've found a better routine. Husband is a night owl so he stays up late with her, feeds a pumped bottle before putting her down for the evening (hopefully by 11 p.m., she fights to stay up late) and then I get up through the night. Works great because I'm exhausted and ready for bed on the early side so we both get a fair amount of sleep overall.

SailorGray · November 2011

mabst196:
Not at all. Dd is his responsibility if she wakes up which she frequently does.

Ditto, only our toddler is a boy and he rarely wakes up, so H has it easy : )

Matt Dvorak · November 2011

he doesn't ever get up at night anymore b/c DS always wants to feed when he wakes. For the first few weeks when LOs schedule was all mixed up and he was wide awake between some night feedings DH did take shifts staying awake with him so that I could sleep.

RyanC18 · November 2011

DH changes LO every night after I feed her and then re-swaddles her. He's much better at swaddling than I am. If she is fussing for some reason he'll get up with her first to try to soothe her just in case it's because of anything besides being hungry before giving her to me. I love that we both are involved overnight, I feel like our relationship has stayed strong after LO's arrival because of it. Luckily, neither of our schedules require us to be anywhere earlier than 9am, otherwise we would probably find away to split the feedings.

Summer20 · November 2011

DH feeds DS a bottle of formula once a night (usually the 12/1:00 feeding). It's been AWESOME. With DD he fed her one bottle too, but I pumped during that time so it really wasn't a break. Other than that one bottle, DS is EBF.

It has been the best decision we made so far this time around!

(Plus, I feel better knowing that DS can and will take a bottle of formula just in case I was ever not around for some reason...)

BeachBlondie456 · November 2011

XSailoretteX:

He really tried to at first. It took a little time to convince him that there was NO point in him getting up. It actually drove me a little crazy the first couple of weeks because he'd want to "see if he could do anything" before I fed DS at night. That meant listening to 20 minutes of the most awful crying before I could feed DS and start trying to get him back to sleep. I'd yell at DH to just give me the f&#($ing baby and he'd give me some variation of "But I'm helping! Go get some sleep!"while DS screamed his poor little head off.

Not our finest hour, but definitely over.

this, except i never really let him take her because i INSISTED i had to be up to feed her anyway so he might as well sleep. and he works long days and gets up early so i pretty much am fully in charge of baby. which i am totally fine with!

TchrJen24 · November 2011

He works while Im still at home, so I let him sleep. He's sleeping on an aerobed in the nursery while ds and I are in the master,to make sure he gets as much sleep as he can.

spinach · November 2011

He washes all the pump parts and bottles, he does a better job anyways. He helps with getting dd back to bed if it's between 9pm and 1 am, he is a night owl and goes to bed late anyways.

caja04 · November 2011

julieb00lie:
He doesn't help at night. With DD, for the first few weeks, he would change her diaper, burp her, and soothe her back to sleep. Once my lady parts were healed and I could move around easier, I did it all. With DS ive been doing it all at night since day one. He helps out in many other ways during the day. In fact, I feel very lucky to have him. But I'm on my own during the night.

Me too.. exactly

sarteratops · November 2011

I try to pump throughout the day to save up enough for one night feeding. DH feeds him a bottle the first time he wakes up then I take the rest. He's been sleeping longer so I can get a good 6 hour stretch of sleep--it's wonderful.

scarlettoctober · November 2011

Even though we have to give DS pumped BM, DH doesn't do any of the night shift. He's in grad school, and on M-W-F, has to be up at 5:45 and out the door by 6:15. I'd rather he get a good night's sleep so he can navigate rush hour and be clear headed for a difficult class. I can nap when DS naps, plus DH's schedule has him at home during the day on T-Th, so he's on hand then to care for DS.

SMJ1106 · November 2011

No help from DH... But, he gets up for work at 4am so I would rather him get a good nights sleep since I am staying home with DD. We haven't slept in the same room since DD was born so that he can get some good sleep.

He keeps saying that he can't really help anyway since I am BF and that he doesn't feel bad since I don't "go to work" right now... which I then reply "so let's put her on formula and I'll go back to work and then you'll help out 50/50, right?"... Tongue Tied

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