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LGBT Parenting
Update/AW
I wanted to give you all a little update on our little Pumpkin--trying to figure what I'll write publicly.
We got the call Mon--picked him up from the hospital at 3 days old. They were seeking a dually licensed foster home (licensed for foster and adoption) because they think it has a high probability of going that way.
Mom is in the process of having parental rights terminated for two other siblings (4 yo and 9 yo). Our baby has a different bio dad. They may talk to us at some point about fostering/adopting either or both of the girls. Um, that's a lot. What I have told the case worker is "I don't even have enough info to think about making a decision." And we live in a 2 bedroom duplex. I am 99% sure legal stipulations are 2 kids/room. So, we couldn't take all 3.
Mom will probably never be capable of parenting them. No one in mom's family is able. We know nothing about dad or dad's family.
We are going to keep loving on this sweet face for as long we can--get as much good stuff in there now.
***Make sense? If you have questions, I'll answer the ones I can publicly or privately (erathoracontact at gmail).
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update/AW
Where are the girls now? In foster care? Any indication if their foster parents are willing to adopt...and if so, any indication that they may want the baby at some point?
i'm assuming they got the first call and already turned him down, but it makes me a little nervous. Also, here, once the girls were available for adoption, they would "shop" around the sibling group to see if they could find a family to take all 3. Granted, thats a nearly impossible sell, especially with how old the sibs are, but just wanted to throw that out there. I know you know and are being cautious, but it gives me a little pause.
And is Pumpkin having visits with mom?
sorry, i'm nosey
answer as much or as little as you wish
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Thanks for the update! How exciting that you get to love on the little pumpkin.
I agree with CT's concerns... but as far as the bedroom situation, for the shorter term you'd probably be able to manage the girls in the 2nd bedroom and baby in your room (up until 2 right?). Not that this means you're ready or wanting to do it....but options. Do you know anything about the girls yet, like do they have significant delays or medical issues?
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Girls are in 2 separate foster homes, neither one is an adoptive resource. It seems as if they are not sure if they are looking for a placement of the 2 girls together or separate.
Both are healthy, and good cognitive functioning (whew). 9 yo has been in several foster homes, so has anger, tantrums, been in inpatient, "ruled out" RAD.... L met them both--said they were adorable. L asked the 4 yo, "how old are you?" "I am 4 now." "Oh, when did you turn 4?" "[thinking....] when I was done being 3."
Pumpkin is visiting mom 2 days/week for 2 hours each. Last night was first visit, they got lost, and he was gone for nearly 5 hours. If paternity is confirmed, he may also visit dad 2 or 3 times per week. We are pushing to have those visits on the same days.
Kershnic--in WI you can have the baby in your room up to one year. So, that doesn't give us a lot of time. We own--and can't really move in this housing market.
Baby in room is really a whole separate post, but I"ll say we weren't sure where baby would sleep. (pack 'n play in our room or his room). We thought we'd figure it out when he got here. He's a pretty vocal sleeper, and the times I have slept in the same room as him, L and I did NOT sleep very well. And he seems to sleep the same either way. So, in the interest of preserving all the sleep we can get, he's been in his own room.
I'm not feeling pressure right now to decide about the other girls. I just know it's out there.
Bedroom--
WOW- big decisions.... Lots to consider you will make the right choice for your family.
SO exciting for sure... eeek 5 hours because they got LOST i would be beside myself.. i dont know if I could do foster care personally I dont know if I have the self restraint ...
keep on posting
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
It sounds like you definitely have your heads and hearts in the right place right now - loving him, and being open to seeing where life is taking you and him and his sisters. I hope it's a good ride and I definitely look forward to hearing about it!
And yes, obviously not a great time to be moving....and I'm sure you'd have to be pretty certain that this was a long-term family before you'd even consider moving. Sounds like my thought was no help, but at least I put it out there.
I'm glad you're finding a sleep solution that works for your family.
I hope that eventually you'll feel up to sharing more on your blog about how your thoughts and fears about depression are matching up with the reality of parenting.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
wow, that's a lot of visitation for a case they dont expect to RU.
And how scary that they got lost!! I start to panic when the kids are 10-15min late returning, i cant imagine hours!!
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I am being lead to believe that is standard around here. I think it's the idea of setting expectations high (because parenting is hard) and seeing if they are able to meet the expectations.
Re: lateness--luckily the visitation worker seems good (although the company she works for seems to do NO training on carseats and she didn't know how to install the carseat she brought!!! L almost followed her to visitation to do the handoff there. Then, they figured it out.) She had phoned to give updates. But, still pretty nervewracking.