May 2011 Moms

Thoughts on the Duggars' expecting baby #20?

Wow.  I really thought they were done.  She's 45 and I don't imagine they do any sort of fertility treatments. 

I hope she and the baby make it through this okay.  I think she is putting herself at risk with putting her body through another pregnancy.  To each their own, but I just don't understand.

 

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Re: Thoughts on the Duggars' expecting baby #20?

  • I try not to judge. They really do seem like a lovely family. I just don't see the point. Do they really WANT more kids? It's almost like a game to them and that's the part I don't agree with.

    Other than that, she will continue to be fertile as long as she keeps getting pregnant.

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  • wow, this is news to me.  i thought after the last pregnancy scare, delivering josie so early due to high blood pressure, they would take action to not get pregnant again.  but i'm sure they are anti birth control...

    to me, its about keeping mommy and new baby safe.   health risks i'm sure increase with age.  they have been blessed so far.  

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  • They don't believe in any type of birth control, including natural family planning.

    Personally, I would tell Jim Bob we won't be having sex for a couple of years at least...

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  • How do they even find time to have sex with 19 kids anyway? Don't 18 of them still live at home? Seriously, how is it that they can find alone time and DH and I can't? We only have 1!

    OK, we CAN find time, but by that point we're exhausted and we just fall asleep.

    As far as my opinion on their #20, I don't mind one way or the other. It seems they're financially capable of supporting another life, and they seem to be a loving family. I do wonder if any of those kids are suffering any kind of as-yet-unnoticed psychological damage as a result of having so many in the family, but that's about as far as my concern goes.

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  • imageaerotigergirl:

    How do they even find time to have sex with 19 kids anyway? Don't 18 of them still live at home?

    Lol, I was thinking the same thing. Besides the kids, the cameras for the show are present. DH and I have to sneak around with only 3!

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  • Wow. I'll judge. IMO that is completely irresponsible not take into consideration all the health risks. I don't care if she doesn't care about her health but she's putting that baby in a lot of risk....the fact that they don't believe in BC for whatever reason, religion or whatever I won't judge that because every idiot is entitled to believe in whatever they want and do with their lives whatever they want but putting children at risk not that I have an issue with. Plus, how can you give each child a honest to goodness good quality time?
  • She had preeclampsia with the last one, right?  I know her age puts her and the baby at a higher risk, but from everything I understand about preeclampsia, the fact that she had it with baby #19 has absolutely nothing to do with her age or how many children she's had.  My friend just had it at 24 with her first baby.

    That being said, I don't understand the extreme hate and judgement some people have for this couple.  Every pregnancy over 40 is a higher risk and I doubt those who judge this couple judge, let's say, Tina Fey who just had number two at 40 the same way.

    There are far, far worse things in the world than this family.  They're able to financially support these kids and from what I've seen from the show Michelle truly loves and does take care and spend time with each of them.  I'm not hopping on any kind of "let's-mandate-birth-control!" bandwagon.  Would this be the right choice for my family?  No.  Do I think wanting twenty children is crazy?  Yup.  But it's not my family, not my choice, not my place to judge.  I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and baby.

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  • imageJNBrickey:

    She had preeclampsia with the last one, right?  I know her age puts her and the baby at a higher risk, but from everything I understand about preeclampsia, the fact that she had it with baby #19 has absolutely nothing to do with her age or how many children she's had.  My friend just had it at 24 with her first baby.

    That being said, I don't understand the extreme hate and judgement some people have for this couple.  Every pregnancy over 40 is a higher risk and I doubt those who judge this couple judge, let's say, Tina Fey who just had number two at 40 the same way.

    There are far, far worse things in the world than this family.  They're able to financially support these kids and from what I've seen from the show Michelle truly loves and does take care and spend time with each of them.  I'm not hopping on any kind of "let's-mandate-birth-control!" bandwagon.  Would this be the right choice for my family?  No.  Do I think wanting twenty children is crazy?  Yup.  But it's not my family, not my choice, not my place to judge.  I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and baby.

    Agreed on all counts. :) 

  • Yeah we get it, their fertile, now please stop.  I had two kids 11 years apart (infertility issues, ended up having both naturally), my uterus is prolapsed, her's must be on the ground by now!!! LOL
  • Congrats to them. They choose not to use any birth control (possibly even natural family planning?) for religious reasons, so unless they want to stop having sex, then they're probably gonna keep on having kids until the sun sets.

    I'd say the more Duggars in the world, the better. They seem to be nice people.

    daughter born June 2011 via C-Section, son born November 2012 via VBAC
  • It has no effect on my life whatsoever.  If I thought they were having kids for the attention or if they were abusing the welfare system or heavily in debt, I would judge.  But they have zero debt, don't accept (or qualify for) governmental aid, and their kids seem well-mannered and respectful.  I would be worried about my and the baby's health if I were Michelle, but plenty of women have chosen to get pregnant knowing they would have health complications.  I generally like their family and would rather America be full of children like theirs than some of the kids born to the typical "2 parents, 2.5 children, and a dog" families.
    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
    BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
    BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
    BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
  • Her body, her baby.  I'm not so concerned with how other people go about family planning.  Especially not the Duggar's.  We all know they don't believe in birth control, so I guess I don't understand the outrage I keep seeing everywhere. 

     

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  • Their view on birth control seems judgemental and uneducated to me.

    This is a quote from their website

    "Then the unexpected happened, followed by the unthinkable: Michelle got pregnant, even though she was still taking birth control pills. We thought that was impossible, but we were surprised to find out different! Between her second and third month, Michelle miscarried. When the doctor told us the miscarriage probably happened because she had conceived while still on the pill, we were devastated. To us, it meant that something we had chosen to do?use the pill?had caused the end of the pregnancy.

    As conservative Christians, we believe every life is sacred, even the life of the unborn. Due to our lack of knowledge, we destroyed the precious life of our unborn child. We prayed and studied the Bible and found a host of references that told us God considered children a gift, a blessing, and a reward. Yet we had considered having another child an inconvenience during that busy time in our lives, and we had taken steps to prevent it from happening.
     
    We weren?t sure if Michelle could have any more children after the miscarriage, but we were sure we were going to stop using the pill. In fact we agreed we would stop using any form of birth control and let God decide how many children we would have."

    Ummm. . . I was 7 weeks pg when I stopped taking BC pills and my son is fine. Lots of people get pg on the pill and have healthy babies. I can't believe she has never had another miscarriage (not that I'd wish that upon her, just seems odd from a statistical point of view). 

    I really dislike that they try to spread that propaganda via their website- birth control is a great choice for a lot of people who should feel like they are "destroying the precious life" of potential unborn children- it reminds me of being told that birth control caused "spontaneous abortions" during Catholic school sex ed.

    - steps off of soap box- 

  • imagedarmca:

    I really dislike that they try to spread that propaganda via their website- birth control is a great choice for a lot of people who should feel like they are "destroying the precious life" of potential unborn children- it reminds me of being told that birth control caused "spontaneous abortions" during Catholic school sex ed.

    - steps off of soap box- 

    Uh, it's their website.  No one has to go to it if they don't want to read what they believe in.  They're forcing their beliefs on no one else.  I also think the BC pill has probably changed a ton in the past twenty plus years.  Does it cause miscarriages now?  No, I don't think so.  But a doctor told her that the pill she was taking caused hers years ago.  It's the way they feel, they're certainly not forcing anyone else to feel the same as them.  Nor do they act offended by people who choose to use birth control.  Their married son and his wife have even (at one point, at least) expressed that they don't want to have that many children.  I don't understand why when people don't like the thought of the Duggars ideas being forced on them they in turn get so offended and want to enforce an idealogy on them that they don't believe in?

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  • What I find most ironic, is when someone that is "pro-choice" starts judging the Duggar's. Seriously. 

    If you are pro-choice, you have no say in her bodily decisions and quite frankly, you should exit the conversation. 

     

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  • imageJNBrickey:
    imagedarmca:

    I really dislike that they try to spread that propaganda via their website- birth control is a great choice for a lot of people who should feel like they are "destroying the precious life" of potential unborn children- it reminds me of being told that birth control caused "spontaneous abortions" during Catholic school sex ed.

    - steps off of soap box- 

    Uh, it's their website.  No one has to go to it if they don't want to read what they believe in.  They're forcing their beliefs on no one else.  I also think the BC pill has probably changed a ton in the past twenty plus years.  Does it cause miscarriages now?  No, I don't think so.  But a doctor told her that the pill she was taking caused hers years ago.  It's the way they feel, they're certainly not forcing anyone else to feel the same as them.  Nor do they act offended by people who choose to use birth control.  Their married son and his wife have even (at one point, at least) expressed that they don't want to have that many children.  I don't understand why when people don't like the thought of the Duggars ideas being forced on them they in turn get so offended and want to enforce an idealogy on them that they don't believe in?

    Yes. 

    And your re-entrance to the board is much welcomed :)

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  • imageLisa Frank:

    What I find most ironic, is when someone that is "pro-choice" starts judging the Duggar's. Seriously. 

    If you are pro-choice, you have no say in her bodily decisions and quite frankly, you should exit the conversation. 

     

     ::applause::

    FWIW, I have a not insignificant chance of getting HELLP again in my next pregnancy, endangering both my life and that baby's. I've read up on the risks, am informing myself of what can be done to keep it minimal, have a plan with my doctor and midwife, and am hoping to have at least one more baby. Regular pre-e has a relatively low rate of recurrence, so there's no reason for her to expect her 20th pregnancy to be more risky than any other 45 year old woman's who has had multiple pregnancies.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • imageLisa Frank:
    imageJNBrickey:
    imagedarmca:

    I really dislike that they try to spread that propaganda via their website- birth control is a great choice for a lot of people who should feel like they are "destroying the precious life" of potential unborn children- it reminds me of being told that birth control caused "spontaneous abortions" during Catholic school sex ed.

    - steps off of soap box- 

    Uh, it's their website.  No one has to go to it if they don't want to read what they believe in.  They're forcing their beliefs on no one else.  I also think the BC pill has probably changed a ton in the past twenty plus years.  Does it cause miscarriages now?  No, I don't think so.  But a doctor told her that the pill she was taking caused hers years ago.  It's the way they feel, they're certainly not forcing anyone else to feel the same as them.  Nor do they act offended by people who choose to use birth control.  Their married son and his wife have even (at one point, at least) expressed that they don't want to have that many children.  I don't understand why when people don't like the thought of the Duggars ideas being forced on them they in turn get so offended and want to enforce an idealogy on them that they don't believe in?

    Yes. 

    And your re-entrance to the board is much welcomed :)

    Thanks!  I had a plethora of health problems at the end of my pregnancy and right after she was born and the internet was the least of my worries.  Feeling much better now, finally!

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  • I'll be honest, I'm fascinated. I'm terrified of how I'm going to take care of the boys when I eventually get PG with baby #3 and she's going to attempt a pregnancy at 45 with 18 kids living at home. I hope that everything goes well and mom and baby are happy and healthy with baby arriving full term. I just hope that she's OK with it if something does happen to her or the baby.
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  • I've never watched the show but I think it's really sad that she has so many children.   There is no way that she has one on one time with each of her kids.  That would make me so sad.  I love knowing all the ins and outs of my kids personalities.   There is absolutely no way she knows her children the way most of us do.
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