Anyone else have a "high needs" baby?

itsmegin · November 2011

I'm sorry I haven't been very active, I lurk and occassionally post from my phone (as I am now) but I can never put DD down long enough to do anything. She eats constantly, on average every hour and a half but often every 20 minutes. When she's not eating she has to be held, usually by me, or she screams. She sleeps okay at night for about an hour or two at a time but does best in bed with me. I did not expect this, both DH and I are extremely easygoing mellow people, we are both oldest children and per our parents easy "good" babies who gave them no trouble. I am going nuts here as I can't do anything, I barely have time to eat. Has anyone dealt with this? Does it get easier? She's only 3 weeks old but from what I've read way more demanding than other babies.

amberdaz · November 2011

At 3 weeks old they're just getting used to the world. My DD had dairy & soy allergies along with colic so the first 2.5 months were tough. NBs sleep all the time - nope, not my DD. Some days I didn't even have a chance to eat until DH got home. Around 3ish months DD became a happy baby and I was able to enjoy her more. And remember all babies are different. At over a year DD still doesn't sleep through the nite. My cousins' LO is 7 months younger and he's been sleeping through the nite for a while now. GL! It does get better.

kathymarie · November 2011

I know it's rough. At 3 months old, my LO is still eating every 1.5-2 hours during the day and every 2-3 hours at night. It's rough. It gets better a little, but mostly you get used to it, and you will feel better soon. Did I mention how rough it is?

Hang in there. Have you pumped yet? Maybe daddy can give a bottle to give you a rest.

Amanda78 · November 2011

Are you BFing? I slept sitting up on the couch for DDs first 8-9 weeks. This is what newborns do-eat and sleep and cry when they aren't feeling secure. She doesn't sound anymore demanding than any other baby yet. Can you wear her? Maybe that would help.

It will get easier my dear. Newborn stage is just surviving day to day. Have your H get you snack foods you can easily eat with one hand.

Mrs.EmmaLouise · November 2011

When she nurses every 20min is she actually eating? or just sucking for comfort? You may want to introduce a pacifer and see if that'll soothe her- she'll let you know if she is actually hungry. A is almost 9mo and only until recently was still nursing every 2hrs. NBs are tough, but it gets easier, hugs!

Jacquiemark · November 2011

Scout2005:

I know you are overtired and stressed, NBs are tough.

That being said...at 3 weeks? An hour or two of sleep at a time was awesome. And DD ate around the clock. They just do at this age.

I remember when she went to three hours sleep in a stretch around 4-5 weeks, and it was like a miracle from God.

Don't read too much into this in terms of her personality, this early. She might be mellow later in life. They are just primal at that point - sleep, eat, hold me. On a loop.

All of this. My DD had reflux and soy and dairy allergies. I took "catnaps" on teh couch in between feedings. Newborns are tough but it will get better. Hang in there.

kathymarie · November 2011

ditto the pacifier.

3 weeks is enough to establish BF. If you wait too long, you wind up with a baby that will not take a paci nor a bottle... like mine. Then you're screwed!

I know these answers don't sound sympathetic, but believe me (and us) we all get it. Newborns are no fun and really, it sucks for a while. It's going to start feeling better.

damabo80 · November 2011

There are a lot of rainbows in this thread. Here' a non rainbow: no it hasn't gotten easier. Dd is still a high needs baby. She needs to be held/nursed/entertained/interacted with 23.5 hours of each day. I usually get about 30 minutes in the late morning where I can set her down on her playmat and she won't have a meltdown because she's not being held. In addition she is the world's lightest sleeper, which means she wakes up every 45 mins and if she realizes she's alone she makes it known that is unacceptable. Luckily, she's fine in her cars eat as long as it's moving.

Get a moby or other carrier. It's the only way you'll be able to leave your couch.

There have been a small handful of nights where she slept somewhere other than right next to me for 3+ hours at a stretch.

grr_aargh · November 2011

Buck up soldier.

But God's honest truth - I've had one intense baby and 2 high needs babies. What you are describing is, for us, about the first 5 months. Damabo has some excellent suggestions.

My youngest is 11 1/2 months now. She still wakes 4 times a night and spends about half of her day on my lap somehow. It's what our life is. It's worth it. It's fine. But it's our life.

itsmegin · November 2011

Okay first off thank you so much for making this seem normal that helps a lot. When I read on here or hear friends talk of a "routine" for their NBs or them taking naps in their crib I start to think we are abnormal as our nighttime routine is DH holding her while she wails hysterically so I can brush my teeth and then nurse her for half an hour so she'll calm down. She definitely nurses for comfort but it's all that works, we tried pacis from early on and she hates them. She fights out of any swaddle and swinging rarely works. I'm going to try a bottle of pumped milk soon. I honestly can deal with the sleep thing I'm not that tired, it's being tied to her all day and never being able to set her down that is wearing on me. I'll definitely get a sling and try that. Thanks for listening! Sorry this is once again from my phone so no paragraphs.

Junebug060609 · November 2011

I second the suggestion of trying a paci. We didn't, and I'm afraid we waited too long. There are definite times he's using me as one lately, but if I try and stick one in his mouth he'll spit it right back out. If you can get Winter used to it now, perhaps that will help you both now and down the road.

For the daytime stuff when you want to get thigns done, have you tried wearing her? Just thinking a Moby or the like would have her up against you feeling held, but still allow you to do exciting things like eat food and do laundry.

BobbiJanay07 · November 2011

Hugs. This my sound mean but pump a bottle and go get a pedicure, she my scream for your hubs but he is her daddy. You need a break. I know it spuds crazy but you need a little break.

hopingwaiting · November 2011

Why, yes, I do.

It is HARD, but it does get better. The first time LO went longer than 2 hours between feeds at night was amazing- I felt like a new woman. Mine had colic and transformed into a new baby (still high needs but at least consolable) between 3 and 4 months. He's still a high needs baby (I refuse to say toddler) though. You're still in the newborn period, so it's hard to say what you're in for.

My advice is to accept any and all help from DH, family, friends. Make sure to get out of the house at least once a day for your sanity and your baby's. Babywear so that you can have your hands free to get things done. It is okay to put your baby down in a safe place crying for 30 seconds while you pee. Figure out what "resets" your baby (mine: nursing, going outside, running water).

Hang in there. You get more and more rewards as LO grows.

theprincessPAT · November 2011

hopingwaiting:

It is okay to put your baby down in a safe place crying for 30 seconds while you pee.

This is such a hard thing to learn. But it's the truth. As much as it sucks to listen to them cry, if you need to pee or make a sandwich or whatever it's okay. Sometimes you have to put them down for a few minutes and walk away to save your sanity.

Sonadora · November 2011

My experience was very similar to Grr_arrghs. Around 5ish months it finally got a bit better. By 7ish months a world of difference. Until then? Reflux, no napping, no sleeping at night, no putting her down without her screaming...

But at 3 weeks that is all really normal for a NB.

erinlovesdavid · November 2011

itsmegin:
Okay first off thank you so much for making this seem normal that helps a lot. When I read on here or hear friends talk of a "routine" for their NBs or them taking naps in their crib I start to think we are abnormal as our nighttime routine is DH holding her while she wails hysterically so I can brush my teeth and then nurse her for half an hour so she'll calm down. She definitely nurses for comfort but it's all that works, we tried pacis from early on and she hates them. She fights out of any swaddle and swinging rarely works. I'm going to try a bottle of pumped milk soon. I honestly can deal with the sleep thing I'm not that tired, it's being tied to her all day and never being able to set her down that is wearing on me. I'll definitely get a sling and try that. Thanks for listening! Sorry this is once again from my phone so no paragraphs.

Have you checked out a Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle? I can't live without mine. Also, search youtube for the "escape proof swaddle." I dare W to break out of that!

Hang in there, mama, it will get better!

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com · November 2011

Jacquiemark:
Scout2005:

I know you are overtired and stressed, NBs are tough.

That being said...at 3 weeks? An hour or two of sleep at a time was awesome. And DD ate around the clock. They just do at this age.

I remember when she went to three hours sleep in a stretch around 4-5 weeks, and it was like a miracle from God.

Don't read too much into this in terms of her personality, this early. She might be mellow later in life. They are just primal at that point - sleep, eat, hold me. On a loop.

All of this. My DD had reflux and soy and dairy allergies. I took "catnaps" on teh couch in between feedings. Newborns are tough but it will get better. Hang in there.

All of this for me too. Reflux plus dairy and soy allergies, she wanted to be held constantly until we got diet and medicine figured out. hope things get better soon. Remember it's okay to ask for help have DH hold the baby for an hour so you can regain your sanity. Breastfeeding is very time consuming especially in the beginning and nothing really prepares you for that. It WILL get better.

VeilSdeGTO · November 2011

My butt is sore from sitting on the couch with DD in my arms from 6:00am until 6:00pm, when DH gets home. I can get up for a quick walk around the living room with her in my arms, but she will scream bloody murder if I try to put her down.

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I don't know if it gets better (it hasn't for me with her only being 4.5 weeks), but I'm learning to do things with one hand. Hope your couch is comfy and your remote, phone, and laptop is within reach.

(hugs)

itsmegin · November 2011

erinlovesdavid:
itsmegin:
Okay first off thank you so much for making this seem normal that helps a lot. When I read on here or hear friends talk of a "routine" for their NBs or them taking naps in their crib I start to think we are abnormal as our nighttime routine is DH holding her while she wails hysterically so I can brush my teeth and then nurse her for half an hour so she'll calm down. She definitely nurses for comfort but it's all that works, we tried pacis from early on and she hates them. She fights out of any swaddle and swinging rarely works. I'm going to try a bottle of pumped milk soon. I honestly can deal with the sleep thing I'm not that tired, it's being tied to her all day and never being able to set her down that is wearing on me. I'll definitely get a sling and try that. Thanks for listening! Sorry this is once again from my phone so no paragraphs.
Have you checked out a Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle? I can't live without mine. Also, search youtube for the "escape proof swaddle." I dare W to break out of that!
Hang in there, mama, it will get better!

Oh yeah, we have that exact one, and she is able to get her arms out within a half hour.

itsmegin · November 2011

VeilSdeGTO:
My butt is sore from sitting on the couch with DD in my arms from 6:00am until 6:00pm, when DH gets home. I can get up for a quick walk around the living room with her in my arms, but she will scream bloody murder if I try to put her down.
I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I don't know if it gets better (it hasn't for me with her only being 4.5 weeks), but I'm learning to do things with one hand. Hope your couch is comfy and your remote, phone, and laptop is within reach.
(hugs)

Me too! So glad I'm not alone. I feel so much better reading all of your stories. My mom and MIL, who have 3 and 5 kids respectively so they know babies, act like she is weird and this is not normal so I was doubting myself and thinking she had a problem.

roundtheworldgirl · November 2011

I'm looking at your siggy, and it seems your baby is not even a month old? What you are describing is very normal for a baby that young. It certainly described my DD1. When you're not getting a lot of sleep, sometimes it seems like everyone else has it easier. But it only seems that way. Three-week-olds need a LOT of attention. It will get easier, but not for a few months.

D&D4Ever7 · November 2011

I am guessing your LO is going through a growth spurt and is increasing your milk supply. I also feel like I nurse constantly. Unless my LO is napping, he was on my boob. Everyday is very unpredictable, but there are few things that we tried and sometimes they work.

1. We found out our DS was getting gas from breast milk, so we got "pedia care" drops (similar to gripe water) which really helped LO sleep about 2-3 hrs at night.

2. We took our LO's play gym and when he is alert, we put him under it and he loves it. he usually plays in it for 15mins or so.

3. He also loves the mobile on top of his pnp. He just started looking at it this week. Sometimes i can leave him in pnp for 30 mins or so.

4. We started a bath time routine in evening. I nurse LO at 6pm to 7 and give a quick bath at 7pm. He plays a little in play gym or pnp and then I nurse him again at 8. Last night, I nursed until 10pm and got very annoyed and gave LO to DH an he was able to get LO to sleep with a paci.

Sometimes these things work and sometimes not. We try our best and hope things will get easier someday.

sarahandeddiejune212008 · November 2011

You are describing how my DD was exactly. It will get easier. You will learn to adapt. I would recommend getting an infant carrier like an Ergo or a Moby. It'll help you get stuff done. And eating that frequently is totally normal. Don't worry - it gets easier and all the exhaustion is totally worth it.

martinimomma · November 2011

Hi Ginger - I hear you. If one more person asks if I'm "having fun" or "getting stuff done" on my maternity leave I might explode. I'm lucky to shower before DH gets home. G is not a great breastfeeder, is starting to act like a reflux baby in addition to his gassy colicky behavior, and when he cries it doesn't matter who is holding him - he just plain old loses his s*it for as long as he likes. 5 S's or not, doesn't matter. Today's trick is crying bloody murder to eat, falling asleep or zoning out on the boob after 4-5 mins and then wet burping all over the place. And them crying more. Good times.

I like the carrier idea, and have a Moby but I have yet to figure out how to get LO in it without compromising his airway and/or hurting my back. I've watched the You Tube videos ad nauseum. So I'd suggest something that you can easily get on and off by yourself if the wrap holder thing looks similarly challenging to you. I need to find something like that stat. ((Hugs))

iggy.d · November 2011

Hi Ginger...I suggest trying the Ergo carrier. It's one thing that DS enjoys and has allowed me to move around a bit. We're still feeding every hour to 90 minutes but it's nice to be able to check the mail, brush my teeth, etc. GL.

Ryan&Kristin062009 · November 2011

Buy The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. It's amazing and will change your life!

Junebug060609 · November 2011

sandyd:

I like the carrier idea, and have a Moby but I have yet to figure out how to get LO in it without compromising his airway and/or hurting my back. I've watched the You Tube videos ad nauseum. So I'd suggest something that you can easily get on and off by yourself if the wrap holder thing looks similarly challenging to you. I need to find something like that stat. ((Hugs))

I got a baby bjorn at a consignment shop. Its super easy to get D in and out of.

Grayhouse · November 2011

Try cutting dairy from your diet. She may have a cows milk allergy and she's getting exposed through your breastmilk. My closest friend had the most high strung, demanding, collicky baby. She couldn't even talk while he nursed. After months of testing and different reflux meds they discovered he had a morbid cows milk allergy. She cut out all dairy and poof---whole new baby, slept like a champ. Plus she got super thin! Oh, and he outgrew it at one year and drinks milk from a sippy now. Good luck, and hang in there!

rvandiver0705 · November 2011

R is still like that sometimes. It does get better, I swear! One day she'll start sleeping longer, and this will have passed!

vflipo · November 2011

Ryan&Kristin062009:
Buy The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. It's amazing and will change your life!

Ditto. We read the book and watched the DVD before DD was born. We used what we learned from day one. I don't really know if she was just easy going because that's just how she was, or if it had anything to do with Happiest Baby on the Block. It doesn't hurt to try, though!

Ryan&Kristin062009 · November 2011

itsmegin:
erinlovesdavid:
itsmegin:
Okay first off thank you so much for making this seem normal that helps a lot. When I read on here or hear friends talk of a "routine" for their NBs or them taking naps in their crib I start to think we are abnormal as our nighttime routine is DH holding her while she wails hysterically so I can brush my teeth and then nurse her for half an hour so she'll calm down. She definitely nurses for comfort but it's all that works, we tried pacis from early on and she hates them. She fights out of any swaddle and swinging rarely works. I'm going to try a bottle of pumped milk soon. I honestly can deal with the sleep thing I'm not that tired, it's being tied to her all day and never being able to set her down that is wearing on me. I'll definitely get a sling and try that. Thanks for listening! Sorry this is once again from my phone so no paragraphs.
Have you checked out a Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle? I can't live without mine. Also, search youtube for the "escape proof swaddle." I dare W to break out of that!
Hang in there, mama, it will get better!
Oh yeah, we have that exact one, and she is able to get her arms out within a half hour.

We used the Summer Infant swaddlers and they have strong velcro. If you do it right your baby shouldn't be able to get out of it. You have to wrap them tight though

butterflynola · November 2011

Yes, me! Omg I am a bit surprised too because my LO wasn't like this until the last week or so. It's hard but I think it will pass. GL!

butterflynola · November 2011

vflipo:

Ryan&Kristin062009:
Buy The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. It's amazing and will change your life!

Ditto. We read the book and watched the DVD before DD was born. We used what we learned from day one. I don't really know if she was just easy going because that's just how she was, or if it had anything to do with Happiest Baby on the Block. It doesn't hurt to try, though!

We watched this and it helps sometimes, but my LO just wants to eat all.the.time! So there isn't much I can do but sit and feed him.

Clerk9 · November 2011

Everyone else has great advice, so I'm just offering you ((BIG HUGS)) & commiseration. DD was pretty fussy for the first couple of months, but has settled down quite a bit over the past month or so. She's still really demanding when something's bothering her, but at least she now has happy times, too.

The newborn phase pretty much sucks, IMO. But we're all here to help you get through it! GL!!!

Want a personalized experience?

Anyone else have a "high needs" baby?

Re: Anyone else have a &quot;high needs&quot; baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Anyone else have a &quot;high needs&quot; baby?

Re: Anyone else have a &amp;quot;high needs&amp;quot; baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Anyone else have a "high needs" baby?

Re: Anyone else have a "high needs" baby?