Grandma Names - Advice please :)

duffmaker · November 2011

Repost from Nov Board:: Okay so FTM and this is the first grandchild on both sides and everyone has there nicknames but my mother is the problem... she is NOT enthusiastic about becoming a grandma at 38... too bad you shouldn't have had me so young then, get over it... and she is dead set on being called Noni (the Italian form of Grandmother?)

1. She wants a "hip" name, Noni comes off too me as little old Italian grandma baking bread or something. (In fact my cousin's DH is extremely like off the boat Italian and his little grandmother is like 8-years old and absolutely the cutest thing ever... her name is Noni)

2. We have Nana, I do not want two "N" names

3. My mother is 110% NOT Italian, my father's family is, they have been nastily divorced for 3 years... she does not deserve to use that connection (might sound snarky but if you knew the situation you'd understand)

4. My FI and I had a bus driver in high school that we all called Noni and that is all we think of when we hear the name

5. I simply DO NOT LIKE IT. (and I'm the one that has to write it on every holiday card and say it over and over again for the next 18 years)

My question... how in the freak do I tell her this? I suggested GiGi but she hated it said it sounded old... um ok? Keeping in mind that my mother is a massive witch and completely bipolar and vindictive and will make my life hell as soon as she finds out that for my own well being and sanity she is banned from L&D and of course MIL will be by my side.

pettycrocker · November 2011

My mom goes by Noni, my grandmother has always been Nanny- she says she was way too young to be a Noni when we were kids lol.

Umm.. I've heard Mima? or Mimi? or I have a friend who calls her grandmother Mama (I always thought that was weird tho)

Just tell her you don't want LO to get confused since Noni is so close to Nana.

J&JSuiter070205 · November 2011

I always simply called my grandma's "Grandma _first name_". My kids call their grandma "Grammy".

duffmaker · November 2011

Haha that's funny.. but see Noni too me sounds older, I don't know how it sounds "hip" to my oh-so-sensitive-about-her-age mom.

I like Mimi, I don't know if she'll go for it because her friend's kids call there gma Mimi but It's a good suggestion, I'll throw it out there. Yea I agree about mama being strange... that would bother me a lot.

I tried going that route about DD getting confused... she got so mad starting yelling at me about how come MIL got to pick first! Why is she so much more important then me? Etc Etc ... like I said my mom's a tad mental and was estranged for the past 4 years up until recently... and we are 100% not sure how long her "I'm your best buddy, I love you" phase will last this time...

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · November 2011

My mom is Neena to the grandkids. My nephew, who is the oldest grandchild on that side, called her that and it stuck. The kid is probably going to call her want it wants to call her, not what she wants.

alohasoprano · November 2011

Well it doesn't sound like your kid will be spending tons of alone time with her...(I'm thinking that's a safe assumption based on your description ) so just call her Grandma to your kid and then he will start calling her Grandma and what is she going to do about it?

Besides, I think the cutest nicknames for grandparents come from the grandchild himself/herself. Like a toddler might call grandma "nana" because they can't quite pronounce the full word yet, and because it's so cute you start repeating it and soon that's the nickname. So much sweeter than Grandma picking her own nickname haha

KRISTA555 · November 2011

IMO, she gets to pick what she is called.

If she wants to be Noni, let her be Noni. No big deal.

My DD has 2 Nanas and 2 Papas, because she is the 12th grandchild on my parents' side, and the 3rd on the IL's side, and they were already called that. It's still no big deal. DD will figure it out eventually.

So, like I said, let the woman be Noni if that's what she wants.

kerrymass · November 2011

I feel your pain! My MIL wants to be Nanie, but pronounced like Nanny and that bothers me because:

1) A lot of kids in our neighborhood actually have nannies/au pairs and I don't love the idea of our LO's grandmother be given the same title that many others in the neighborhood will be using for their hired help. (Plus, my mum first came to this country as an au pair/nanny so I have that title very ingrained in my head as to what it represents)

2) If she wants it spelled Nanie, I want to pronounce nay-knee.

Our plan is to do what some of the others posted and humor her for now, but sort of let the grandchild pick the name (of course, we'll be able to push that in a specific direction) and let it evolve into something we can all live with.

I must admit, I agree w/ your mother about GiGi sounding old, but that's only because I've often heard it as an abbreviation for Great Grandmother.

Could you also just tell her that if she wants to be Noni, that's fine w/ you, but tell her what you picture (the tiny, old little grandma baking bread) and offer her some other suggestions. If she goes for them - great. If not - sadly, you might have to suck it up.

Good luck w/ the name and the L&D situation!

getnmarried910 · November 2011

KRISTA555:

IMO, she gets to pick what she is called.

If she wants to be Noni, let her be Noni. No big deal.

My DD has 2 Nanas and 2 Papas, because she is the 12th grandchild on my parents' side, and the 3rd on the IL's side, and they were already called that. It's still no big deal. DD will figure it out eventually.

So, like I said, let the woman be Noni if that's what she wants.

I agree, she gets to pick. We have nana and grandma (my mom and MIL) and then grandma lastname (my grandma) and grammy (dh's grandma). My kids haven't been confused at all by having two go by grandma and one by grammy, and they are pretty close sounding.

Witch or not, your mom is right about Gigi sounding old. Most people I know that go by Gigi are great-grandparents (G.G.). DH's grandma tried to go by that, but since our kids never heard her called anything but grammy, it never stuck. But it does sound old.

HazelBee22 · November 2011

I say let her pick. Honestly, all the grandma nickname variations sound old in some way. They do refer to a grandparent after all.

My Mom did request that she be called Mimi. She said she's too young to be "Grandma." I'm fully ok with that - Mimi it is. MIL doesn't care what she's called, so we'll just see what comes, if DD picks her own or something just naturally evolves.

namara5532 · November 2011

LO is going to call her whatever they feel like anyway. Often LO comes up with something cuter than what the grandmother wanted anway. In my family, my grandmother became Marmar because that's what the eldest cousin decide when she was little. The name stuck with all the grandkids after. DH's grandmother got the name Zizi by the same method.

Your mother can gripe and groan about it, but there's not much you can do once it's reinforced in LOs head anyway.

cathom7 · November 2011

Wow. 1st off. I am 38 and having my 2nd child. I have a 3 yo. This post would make me strangle myself, only I don't want to hurt DD. LOL! Anyway... We are Southern, and my Mom has been Meemaw 15 years. DH's Mom Wanted to be Nanny. I pretty much hated it and thought it was weird, but it was her choice and I LOVE her to death, so I was NOT going to say anything. Meanwhile, DS calls her Nana, so it switched to that. And it was one of his 1st words, so she was ecstatic and would have nothing else after. LOL;0) GiGi sounds WAY cooler than Noni, which sounds like an 80 year old. I like GiGi and think that was an Awesome idea! My nephew's other Grandma- they call her G-ma. Pronounced Gee-Maw. Sounds kinds hip hop cool to me.... I've always liked it. Tell her it makes her sound 80. Better yet, make a clicky on here and show her the results. LOL

awillis13 · November 2011

KRISTA555:
IMO, she gets to pick what she is called.

If she wants to be Noni, let her be Noni. No big deal.

My DD has 2 Nanas and 2 Papas, because she is the 12th grandchild on my parents' side, and the 3rd on the IL's side, and they were already called that. It's still no big deal. DD will figure it out eventually.

So, like I said, let the woman be Noni if that's what she wants.

I agree, just let her pick. If it makes you feel better, the Italian word for grandmother is Nonna (and nonno is grandfather) so she's not tapping into your father's heritage at all, even if she thinks she is.

We will actually have 2 Nonnas when LO gets here. My mother is already Nonna to my niece and nephew, and DH's mother also want's to be Nonna. It will probably just be Nonna V and Nonna W.

PhysChic7685 · November 2011

As much as I dislike Nonni, I too think that this name is about what she wants. It's a name that is going to constantly remind her of the fact that she's older now, and it should be something she likes. You and your kids won't use it every day (I assume), so it's not the end of the world.

My mom is called "Mom-mom" by the grandkids mostly because my brother met his wife when she already had a small kid and would always tell him to go see "My mom," which the boy pronounce "Mom-mom," so it stuck. My step-dad then took on "Pop-pop" as his name. My grandmother is Grammom.

On my husband's side, his parents are "G-mom" and "G-pop" which they love and my daughter has no problem with. His grandmother is called G-G. His grandfather (from the other side) adamantly insists that everyone call him Herb. He does not like the grandparent title at all.

ASmallWonder · November 2011

Here's my advice - tell her to wait and let the baby pick his/her own name for her. I, with agreement from my in laws, started calling them Grammy and Grampy to my son. My dad was going to be Bampy because that's what I called my grandfather. My son never sees my dad so never really heard "Bampy" but that's what comes out of his mouth when he calls my FIL. He favors the letter B so my MIL decided that maybe Bammy would be easier for him than Grammy so guess what? They're now Bammy and Bampy and they love it and it's not at all what they were supposed to be :-p

xraychick07 · November 2011

Mine are Granna and Grandy. I left it up to them to choose

Good Luck

rcanales · November 2011

I kinda think she should be called what she wants to be called. But really, the kid is going to call her by whatever they can say.

My son calls my parts grandma and grandpa. He calls DH's parents Aunie and Pappas. He came up with those on his own. Aunie (said Aw-knee) is a combination of Anna and Honey - I call my MIL Anna and FIL calls her Honey so he smooshed them together. And Pappas came from saying "Pa, Pa, Pa" as a toddler. My parents lived in another state for a couple years so he never formed nick-names for them.

jnealet · November 2011

DD wasn't the first grandchild on either side so both grandmothers had already picked their names: Grandmommy and Grandma. But when DD started to talk, she called them Nanma and Nanmommy instead and they both LOVE it!!! In fact, DD is starting to correct herself and say Grandmommy and Grandma and it makes me a little sad.

My poor grandmother was called Mom-mommy by my older cousins but my sister didn't call her that, she called her Who-Who. And my younger cousins called her Yia-Yia. So she had three names and she loved them all too.

lilwildthing · November 2011

kerrymass:
I feel your pain! My MIL wants to be Nanie, but pronounced like Nanny and that bothers me because:
1) A lot of kids in our neighborhood actually have nannies/au pairs and I don't love the idea of our LO's grandmother be given the same title that many others in the neighborhood will be using for their hired help. (Plus, my mum first came to this country as an au pair/nanny so I have that title very ingrained in my head as to what it represents)
2) If she wants it spelled Nanie, I want to pronounce nay-knee.
Our plan is to do what some of the others posted and humor her for now, but sort of let the grandchild pick the name (of course, we'll be able to push that in a specific direction) and let it evolve into something we can all live with.
I must admit, I agree w/ your mother about GiGi sounding old, but that's only because I've often heard it as an abbreviation for Great Grandmother.
Could you also just tell her that if she wants to be Noni, that's fine w/ you, but tell her what you picture (the tiny, old little grandma baking bread) and offer her some other suggestions. If she goes for them - great. If not - sadly, you might have to suck it up.
Good luck w/ the name and the L&D situation!

We had this issue too. My nephew calls my MIL nan/nanny and my husband was dead set against it. He said that is someone you pay to watch your kid. Mawmaw is traditional where we live, but MIL didn't want to be called that. So she is grandma first name, my mom is grandma last name, and DH's stepmom is mawmaw first name. All the grandpas are papa first name. It sounds complicated but DS has no trouble with it.

EastCoastBride · November 2011

First, I agree - this is her choice. Not yours. It's HER "name".

Second, as said, a lot of names develop naturally from the kids. She or you may actually not have a choice in what your baby calls her!

My parents are "grammie" and "granddad". Somehow, DS got onto calling my dad "a-ha". It's actually SOOOO cute and it's been such a thing, that now that he's starting to use "granddad", we're actually kind of sad.

But... this is all driven by DS.

This is just a battle I wouldn't choose to have.

wwhickok · November 2011

I'm sort of in the same boat, my mom is only 37, she had me super young and does not want to be a grandma yet. At first she seriously asked if she could just be called Aunt so and so. She's finally come to terms and decided she's going to be grammy, as that's what i called my late grandmother. So we have grammy and we have mimi, DH's mother. I think however that it's her name, you can express your concerns and opinions but she's the one who has to live with the name for the rest of her life.

brea311 · November 2011

Wow, I guess I am really mean because I have shot down all of my mother's choices for what the child is going to call her. She doesnt like Grandma which I think is a fine name. She suggested "Kristie" which is what her baby name was and noone calls her that. Then she suggested "Sweetheart" and that just sounds wrong. She shot down Nana, grammy, oma, omi, and mum-mum. I suggested she wait until the baby chooses a name for her, but I will be calling her "Grandma". I called both my grandparents simply "Grandmom/Granddad" and Grandma/Grandpa". I dont understand why the fight. Maybe I will call her Grandma K...but its dumb because its not like we have to differentiate between grandparents since my in-laws are foreign and will go by their cultural names "Oma and Babaji" (my mil is hungarian and fil is indian).

ChavayJakov · November 2011

My two grandmothers both went by Grandma. Grandma from the city was pronounced Grandma (where you would hear the "d") and Grandma from the country was pronounced Gramma. We didn't do that intentionally, it just happened that way as kids. I didn't even realize or "hear the difference" until I was an adult speaking to my own kids about my grandparents. (BTW, we were never confused by the "closeness" in sound...that's a stupid reason to negate a name.)

As for my children's grandmothers...my mother went with the traditional Grandma, which my kids butchered down to Gramma anyway on their own. My MIL chose Granny. No idea why, as I don't think it sounds pleasant under any circumstances, but I truly am under the impression that these are all adults and they get to choose what they want to be called. So in your situation, even if I could create the list that you just provided, I wouldn't dare dream of telling my parents what they could and could not be referred to..even if I'm eye-rolling at the "too young to be a grandparent" impression. So, Noni she wants, Noni she would get. Likewise, I don't at all plan to be told what I am and am not going to be called by my own grandchildren. I know right now I do not want to be called Grandma because I absolutely can not stand the legacy of my mother or my maternal grandmother...and for *me* it's association is very negative that isn't overridden by how wonderful my paternal grandmother was in comparison. I would hate to be forced to use something I so strongly bucked against as my identity for my grandchildren.

jineau · November 2011

Oma, that's what i call one of my grandma's it a german translation but then again she is german.

Besta: is norweigen ( I don't know if that is the besta names for her though)

Bina, if she likes italian names

Or what are her initials my kids do that. They have Grandma DD, Grandma Joy, if she has initials that would make a cute name. Just some thoughts

Cebs222 · November 2011

In all honesty, by the time the baby is old enough to pronounce anything he/she will call her what they want anyways. My MIL has been stressing over her " gma" name too. We live far away ( military) and think grandma,grammy is fine. We told her that she will be referred to as grandma until they can come up with something they can say. My mom and dad are gonna be nana and pappa but only because my brother just adopted a baby this year and thats what they are using.

Lhand11 · November 2011

My MIL joked for a long time she wanted to be called Aunt. Which I found in no way funny. She and your mom need to embrace being a grandma because it is an amazing thing. This LO will be the first grandchild on my DH's side. After a long time she landed on Mimi which is fine by me. However the baby will end up calling her whatever the baby feels like and can pronounce!

Now my FIL is a different story. He wants to be called Cap, as in short for Captain because he legit thinks he is a pirate. Still have to find an alternative for this one....

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