anyone's DH not stay at the hospital?

sherbieface · October 2011

I'm currently being induced (been here since 7am on pit), and was just informed that it's likely I'll need a cs due to baby's position hindering her from moving past -2 despite contracting every 2 mins. I was planning on sending my H home to take care of our 2 special needs dogs, and so at least one of us could get some decent sleep. But now with a cs, I'm not sure if that would work. He will do whatever I want to, and my mom.said that she'd stay with the dogs. Did your H do a lot at the hospital at night, or did the staff do more? Did anyone's H sleep at home?

martinimomma · October 2011

My DH went home to care for our 12 year old furbaby and to get some decent sleep with my blessing (we live 10 mins from the hospital). That first night I was in rough shape and would probably sent LO to the nursery anyway, since I could not walk yet and was hooked up to a bunch of equipment - so that's what we did. The nurses handled changing him and brought him to me to feed (and brought him back to the nursery thereafter). It worked well to have DH well-rested to help care for me during the day, too. Good luck with your delivery!

NewptNYbride06 · October 2011

Mine didn't and I was in the hospital for 4 nights. I put the baby in the nursery for the night and had the nurse bring her in for nursing. Dh would come back really early in the morning and stay all day but it was important for me to have him get a good nights sleep...that bed in the room looked awful for someone to sleep on! That way atleasy one of us was getting some sleep before we came home!

ConnieRob · October 2011

Our hospital did not allow visitors to spend the night. They adheared to a strict 7am-10pm visiting hour schedule. DH stayed until 9:00 or so both nights after that I was ready to sleep anyways.

I did have DS in the nursery at night and had him brought to me to BF. If he roomed in, I would not have gotten much rest at all. If your hosital lets you have him at the nursery at night I highly recommend it (and this comes from a co-sleeping Mommy).

I think H was more comfortable going home to sleep anyways, the little fold out couch in my room was not overly comfortable.

Good luck!

AlwaysMrsS · October 2011

If you're planning on nursing or want your baby to spend the night in your room I recommend your dh stays with you. I didn't get up until 12 hrs after LO was born. DH would get up when she cried change her, and bring her to me to nurse, once she was done eating he rocked her to sleep and put her back in the bassinet. I would have never survived the first night without dh there. Also, my hospitals policy was that for c-section mommas they don't leave the baby with you for the first x amount of hrs unless there's someone with you in the room.

pepomntpat · October 2011

DH stayed with me and DD every night. My mom cared for the beasties. I would not have had it any other way. I hated every minute DD was away from me and I really needed DH's support to keep her in the room with me. I had no interest in sending her to the nursery at all, though that would have made the nurses happier.

Raffes484 · October 2011

I was formual feeding, so I had DH go home everynight and sent LO to the nursery. It worked out especially when we had #2 and he went home to take care of her and keep her night time routine the same.

SugarChick10 · October 2011

DH offered to stay but I told him to go home. We have a dog who needed tending to, & my mom offered to stay with her while DH stayed with me but I wanted him to sleep & be comfortable in a real bed. Plus our LO came a month early & we weren't completely ready for her, so DH took care of those things while LO & I were in the hospital. He spent the majority of the daytime hours at the hospital, then would leave to run errands & take care of the house.

hopkins5 · October 2011

SO stayed with me in the hospital for the full five days. He helped me out so, so much! I was in too much pain to even get out of bed on my own, at first. We don't have a nursery at my hospital, so if he hadn't been there, I easily could've asked a nurse to help me out.

If your Mom is willing to look after the dogs, I'd absolutely ask your H to be with you in the hospital. Or if you want him to get a good sleep, maybe he could watch the dogs while your Mom came to help you out at the hospital?

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · October 2011

DH stayed the whole time when I had ds. My parents had our dog. This time. dh is staying with me the first night since I'm sure I'll need help from being hooked up to so many things still, but after that he'll be home at night with ds. I wish he'd be able to stay the whole time this time, but I am thinking about ds too and don't want to have him at my parents so many nights.

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com · October 2011

Mine didn't, the plan was my Dad would fly in the day before my scheduled c/s. I had some blood pressure problems and had to deliver a week earlier than originally planned. So DH had to stay home with DD to pack her lunch, do homework, get her off to school etc.

BeerBeck · October 2011

My husband stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital - all 5 days!

Truthfully, I don't know how I would have done it without him, as I had complications following the c-section and needed him to bring me our DD, help me get up to go to the washroom, etc.

atc282 · October 2011

I had DH stay with me the whole time after my c/s with twins--he had to change the diapers for me and help me feed two whenever they roomed in with us.

For this past RCS with DS, DH stayed the first night (even though DS stayed in the nursery, I just wanted him there with me in case I couldn't reach the nurse and needed help) and then he went home the other night I was there--we have 2 kids at home and even though my parents were at home watching them, I liked knowing that DH was there to help them when they woke up (and not have both mommy and daddy be gone).

angelina477 · October 2011

DH was there for the c/s and the first night but had to work and get sleep the others. We also have dogs that needed care at home. You will be there for a few days so let him leave after the procedure and first night.

akayf · October 2011

DH went home each night to be with our 3 year old. Baby wasn't allowed to come down to our room anyway for 2 days(he was in special care) so it was pointless for him to stay at night.

My hospital only allows you to room in with baby if you are in one of the private rooms(I was) If you are a c-section, they don't allow you to room in unless someone stays with you(dads are only allowed to stay overnight in private rooms) If you can't room in, they bring the baby to you at night for feedings after they change the diaper for you unless you request for the baby to stay all night in the nursery.

Ardmhs83 · November 2011

My DH stayed in the hospital all 3 nights. We did put Carter in the nursery at night and he was brought to me when he needed to nurse. The staff did everything at night and we did everything during the day. We didn't even discuss if he was staying...it was just known that he was.

twirl&whirl · November 2011

DH didn't stay any of the 4 nights because we wanted him to use his time off when I would really need him after baby came home. My mom stayed with me the first night and then I was alone the others. I always sent DD to the nursery at night and when I needed a nap during the day. DH came to the hosp to see us before he went to work and came to us immediately after.

shihtzu51 · November 2011

I recommend having someone stay with you - either DH or your mom. I would recommend it for any type of delivery (or any hospitalization for that matter). I think it helps just in case there are any complications, you want someone there to remember what the nurses or doctors are telling you and also to make sure you are getting the correct medications, etc. Even if you don't have any complications, you'll want help getting the baby, etc especially the first night.

. I had a postpartum hemorrhage in the middle of the night after my csection and had to go for an emergent d&c. If DH hadn't been there, I would not have been in any state to have called him - I kept almost passing out and could barely follow what the nurses and doctors were telling me. I would not have wanted DH to have to rush back to the hospital in the middle of the night.

crab82388 · November 2011

My H stayed with me every night except for the last one. He had to go home to be with the dog. Our doggie sitter had an emergency. Other wise he would have been there the whole time. She did stay in the nursery that night though and they just brought her to me to feed. The nurse I had that night was amazing though, it was a slow night and they each only had 1 baby so she hung out in my room with me and talked, ate some pizza, and watched tv since H wasn't there.

LSUmommy4 · November 2011

I had DH stay with me all 3 nights with DD but this time around since she'll be a little under 18 months I want him home with her. With DD I kept her in the room the entire time but this time if need be I'll send LO to the nursery and they can bring LO back for nursing.

We also have a dog and to be quite honest I do NOT trust his parents to watch my DD at all let alone all night long. We have to have a RCS so I will be planning the date and keeping her in daycare during the days so DH can take her there and come see me and the new LO and go get her and if he wants to bring her he can.

I want to keep her in a normal routine with people she loves and besides that couch was not comfortable for him at all!

I am very independent so it doesn't bother me but it honestly is everyone's choice. Some friends have told their DH's to leave after one night because they were smothering them and some didn't want them there and then begged them to stay.

Do what feels comfortable for you whether that be your mom, DH, or by yourself.

DoughGirl · November 2011

Nope. Not one of the 3 nights I stayed and I was not happy about it. I didn't have DS stay in the room with me until the last night because I was uneasy getting up and down out of the bed on my own. I was really hurt and upset with DH.

It wasn't until after we came home that DH told me that when he ran home to get my bag after DS was born ( very unplanned delivery at 38 weeks), our next door neighbor told him that someone had poured acid on every car on our block early that morning. We park in our garage, so we were spared. DH was worried that there would be some kind of trouble and didnt want to leave the house empty overnight just in case. He didn't want me to worry.

lorist202 · November 2011

Not a single night, and I was glad. The hospital encouraged c-section moms to send the baby to the nursery at night, especially if not BF (which I did not). I was able to get so much rest that I recovered very quickly. With DH so well rested also, he flawlessly organized all the visiting family and friends as well as carting gifts back home daily so we wouldn't have too much to carry upon discharge.

HelloWaldorf · November 2011

We live close to the hospital so DH stayed home with DS at night. The nurses were an amazing help. They even took the baby for a couple hours so I could sleep.

ILoveRunning · November 2011

ConnieRob:

I did have DS in the nursery at night and had him brought to me to BF. If he roomed in, I would not have gotten much rest at all. If your hosital lets you have him at the nursery at night I highly recommend it (and this comes from a co-sleeping Mommy).

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with your advice regarding sending your LO to the nursery, particularly if mom plans on BFing. Having babies room-in is important for establishing a good BFing relationship. In fact, rooming-in is important enough that UNICEF and WHO actually lists it as one of the ten steps for successful breastfeeding. I hope that anyone who reads this disregards it.

Under.the.Rose · November 2011

DH couldn't stay the first night because the hospital was so packed (it was a weird night) that I had to be in a shared room. It was HORRIBLE. I would not recommend being alone the first night.

I couldn't pick up DS who was crying in the bassinet beside my bed and had to buzz a nurse -- which would often take a long time to come. I was beside myself for the first part of the night... I ended up keeping DS in bed with me the rest of the night because I was fed up and needed to hold him/take care of him.

asyph107 · November 2011

DH did not stay with me any of the nights. I had DS1 at 645pm. He stayed until like midnight and things were fine. DS1 roomed in too, no worries. We have 2 cats and a dog so someone needed to be with them.

beautifulstr13 · November 2011

My husband went home during the day for the whole 5 day stay. He showered, checked the house, rested a little and took care of our animals. I thought at the time that he would be quick but he actually fell asleep and ended up being gone most of the days. I was then stuck with my inlaws who stayed all day every day and my dad who stayed during the day. I was miserable. I just wanted some alone time or time with just me and DH. I didnt get either. My DH did nothing with the baby but give him to me when I needed him. Your DH may be different. I told mine that when we have the next one he is not to leave my side.

chrisncassie · November 2011

I told H not to stay the night while I was in the hospital, I knew he wouldn't sleep, he needed to get rest too, and take care of DS#1 who was still in school. That gave me, ME time (yes, even at the hospital), and that gave LO and I time alone too.

moonfaerie · November 2011

My DH spent the nights at home. I ahd two scheduled c/s, so he spent the entire day of the birth at the hospital, then went home to sleep and take care of the animals. He actually went to work the rest of the days that I was in the hospital, visited me at night, and then slept at home. It was more important to me for him to take his vacation days after I came home from the hospital, rather than while I was there with nurses and all to help out.