April 2012 Moms

Who is throwing your shower

So, with all of the issues that came about from my wedding shower (my family and his bickering), I think I would like to possibly throw my own shower... Would that be tasteless? I just don't know...
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Re: Who is throwing your shower

  • I don't think I'd want to deal with throwing my own.  My aunt and sister are throwing mine.  Could you ask a close friend to do it for you?
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  • I don't know! Nobody has offered yet. However, I am throwing one for my good friend in February. 

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  • A shower is something others throw for you.  
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  • You could always have it at your own house, but have a friend "host" it if that is an option. My SIL did this with her first, no one said anything about it. I didn't realize how much was not considered PC until I came to TK and TB.
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  • I don't know yet! I'm hoping my MIL offers because there's so much going on in my family right now (my mom is in the hospital long term) that I don't want my grandmother to throw it even though she will probably offer.
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  • imageKeeks14:
    A shower is something others throw for you.  

    Yeah.  I feel like this would come off as asking people to buy you gifts.  Which, let's face it, that's mostly what a shower is... but when someone else throws it for you it doesn't come off awkwardly like that.

  • I don't think I will be having one, we live far away from both families.  I think it is tacky to throw your own.
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  • yes, I think it's tacky to throw one for yourself. If each side of the family wants to throw one, let them. Just don't let them invite the same people to both. 

     

  • imageKeeks14:
    A shower is something others throw for you.  

    Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, but I'm just attempting to avoid conflict... my sister is kind of a b**** to my in-laws because she thinks I like them better then her or something... I don't, but I do enjoy them thoroughly! 

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  • My mom is throwing mine in February.  She pretty much organized my bridal shower as well with input and some financing from the bridesmaids.
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  • My close girlfriend is throwing me a shower, if she wasn't and no one else offered, I just wouldn't have one.

    I don't think showers are necessary for having a baby.

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  • I would not throw my own - it is kind of tacky...  But I would say go with the idea of having it at your house and ask if a friend would "host."  Do something simple like catered in food - and then I would treat yourself to a house cleaner the day before. :)

    Mine are being thrown by my mom, Dh's mom, my friend, another friend in central illinois, and then work. 

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  • My best friend is due 6 days after me, so I'm not going to ask her to throw it - I think it'd be too much for her.  So, I talked to my mother and a close friend and they are helping plan it.  I'm too much of a control freak though to completely let them plan it for me, plus, i'd feel lazy if i didnt do anything!
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  • I would not personally throw my own shower. If there are issues with families bickering--just have a shower on each side. Likewise, IMO, you shouldn't know or be involved in the bickering. For my wedding shower, there was tons of bickering between my BFF and MIL. I finally had enough and let everyone know enough was ENOUGH. Needless to say, I will not be allowing anyone to throw me a baby shower (that's a whole other story.) I say, if people are bickering, you need to just tell them to STFU and keep you out of it. It's your parade--no one needs to rain on it.

     

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  • I think it would be tacky to throw your own. like pp said i would just get a friend to throw it instead of your family so you don't have to deal with it.

    My two best friends can't stand each other right now and they have been fighting over who will throw me a shower....I told them they will shut up and do it together or they don't need to throw me one. I don't want to deal with it.
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  • My mom and two best friends are working together on mine.
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  • I don't know if I would throw my own but I know what you mean.  My MIL is throwing one and my Mom is throwing the other.  I have heard the ladies at work talk about doing something as well but I have no clue about that one.  GL!
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  • I had two showers - one was planned by my mother, one was planned by my MIL. If nobody offered to throw one for me, I probably wouldn't have had one.
  • Probably a childhood friend and her mother. I would never throw my own.
  • My sister will be throwing mine (probably with some financial help from my parents and grandparents).  I did tell her that I am sure if she asked my SIL if she wanted to help, she definitely would.

    At work, our Sunshine committee will throw a shower.  Probably a combined one for me and someone due in May.

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  • I wouldn't throw my own. My mom threw my bridal shower so will prob throw baby shower too. .mil isn't reliable
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  • When I read the title of this post, I thought it said "who is throwing up in your shower." I thought, I sure hope you are the only one who throws up in your shower.
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  • I am not sure, probably my mom, SIL, cousin or combination of them. It def will not be me.

    Lillian April 17, 2012
  • IMO, it doesn't matter who throws the shower. If you know people WANT to go and are saying you should have one, then what's the issue with doing it yourself ? 
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  • I'm not having one this time around, but with DD my younger sister and one of my really good friends organized mine. I wouldn't have had one if no one offered.
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  • imageMsCat19:

    imageKeeks14:
    A shower is something others throw for you.  

    Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, but I'm just attempting to avoid conflict... my sister is kind of a b**** to my in-laws because she thinks I like them better then her or something... I don't, but I do enjoy them thoroughly! 

    I think it's fine to have more than one if it's going to be an issue. I had a lot of showers with my first. DH and I both have large extended families that we're close to so it would have been too much to have everyone at one shower. My cousin threw the one for my side of the family and SIL did one for DH's side. 

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  • I know no matter how I slice it, I'm going to have a shower.  If I could skip it, I would, but it's not possible... Maybe I'll have my friend "throw it" but finance everything behind the scenes!
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  • My SIL is throwing me a shower, and my mom, sis and bff are throwing my other one. 

    I don't know if I would throw my own shower... can you partner up with a family member or friend and kind of guide the shower plans, but have the partner/friend be the host? That way you still have a say, but you aren't hosting your own shower. 

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  • My mom is planning/financing most of the shower but doesn't host (same as bridal shower) because she's shy and has the help a few family members for various parts of the shower.

    Is there anyone neutral to both families that could be the host? That person can make the major choices and delegate smaller parts to both sides, depending on what they would want to hep with. My family is crazy (many divorces and immature people who make any communication hard) and that is how we have been able to make holidays possible.

    Good Luck!

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  • My sister, cousin and a dear co-worker have offered. I'm helping them plan it because I'm a control freak that way. But they already know that and still love me. :) I have hired my wedding florist who told me then she wanted to do my baby shower. I thought she was nuts when she asked. Little did I know...
  • Throwing your own shower in my area is considered in extremely bad taste. However, for some reason, it is okay for immediate family to do so.

    My MIL is throwing me a shower in the state I live in and I am really hoping to get an oot shower where all of my family lives. It is 4 hours away in a neighboring state. However, only one person has offered to help, so I don't know if it will happen.

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  • I would personally not throw a shower for myself.  My sister and aunt offered to throw me one in February. If no one offered, I wouldn't have one.

    I got TWO Facebook invitations this week for baby showers from the actual mother. They were SO tacky (not just because they were FB invites ha) because they said, "If you can't come, send your gift to me and I will just wait to open it at my shower." and they listed what they want for gifts. For each person, this was not their first child and there aren't very big gaps between their children (they both have toddlers and planned these pregnancies).

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  • My mom and my aunts are throwing mine, this was pretty much the second thing they said after I told them I was pregnant. They planned my wedding shower and it was awesome, they've already started working on the details of the baby shower.
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  • My mom and one of my good friends but of course my MIL wants to be involved also. My mom didn't really get to do the wedding shower because my MIL took over and it was beautiful but it was really overdone. My mom wants to have salad, sandwiches, meatballs etc. very homestyle. We will see how much my MIL steps on her toes! It's actually going to be at my house because there is a good chance I will be on a bedrest. They are taking me out of work on a modified bedrest in a month to hopefully save me from going on a full bedrest till much later or a shorter time. My MIL is already pissed about it being at my house and not hers! haha but seriously I will be attached to the couch!
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  • I wouldn't throw my own shower, just because its supposed to be a time for you to relax and enjoy not stress about food, games & invitations. But its completely up to you because its your baby!

     As of right now, I'll have 4 showers thrown for me- the girls from my dental school class, my sisters/family, my husband is a teacher so the ladies he works with want to throw us a join shower, and then my husband's friends are throwing us a diaper shower (we are fresh out of college, so they are getting a keg & instead of paying $5 for a cup, you bring a thing of diapers!). 

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  • imageChristina_Diane:

    Throwing your own shower in my area is considered in extremely bad taste. However, for some reason, it is okay for immediate family to do so.

    Period.  A shower is thrown by someone else to shower you with gifts, not for you to ask people to shower you with gifts.  It's greedy to throw your own shower.  Period.

    My mom and sisters are throwing me one shower and a couple of friends are throwing me another.  I'll have one at work and then a few good friends from work will throw one for me. I'm honestly uncomfortable with four showers, but the hosts all really, really, really want to do it no matter what I say.

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  • imageMarxieVonTrapp:
    imageChristina_Diane:

    Throwing your own shower in my area is considered in extremely bad taste. However, for some reason, it is okay for immediate family to do so.

    Period.  A shower is thrown by someone else to shower you with gifts, not for you to ask people to shower you with gifts.  It's greedy to throw your own shower.  Period.

    All of this.  When you throw your own shower, you ask asking people for gifts (because that is the very definition of shower). 

     There is also a Baby Showers board here on the Bump that has endless threads on this sort of topic that you may want to check out for more opinions.

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