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December 2010 Moms
PGASTL
member
Okay seriously, WTH do I do? (long) Help!! (sleep related!)
PGASTL
member
Okay, let me set the scene for you. When LO was 9 months old, I phased out her night feedings in a completely easy and non-dramatic fashion and LO started STTN. It was the ONLY easy process in our entire napping / sleeping history. Most of you know I have had a difficult road when it comes to anything sleep related. We had to sleep train for 21 days to get LO to sleep in her crib for naps and night time, with our Pedi's approval and advice.
(obligatory caveat - I know that things could be so much worse - sick children, hospitals, etc. I am sorry to be complaining so much about sleeping, it is just my reality right now. I know we are blessed to have what we do and I am thankful).
Moving on...
This weekend out of nowhere LO started waking up in the middle of the night. The first night, thinking it was unusual, I went and got her, nursed and tried to put her back down. Cue banshee screaming. Hysterical. So, we repeated the process 3 times. She didn't even want to nurse, just wanted to snuggle. I finally held her until she was asleep and managed to get her down. She ended up in bed with us at 4:30.
The next night, I figured this was just her wanting to be with us and I needed to take the "HSHHC" approach and not start bad habits- so when she woke at 1:30 I let her cry. She cried 30 minutes and it was total torture for me. I kept reminding myself that she cannot sleep in our bed (this is just not a long term solution for us for many reasons).
Then yesterday she started the process at naps. Hysterical banshee screaming when I put her down. I know she's tired - rubbing eyes, yawning, drooping eyes when nursing, but she will not go down. Eventually we just kept her up a few more hours out of desparation and ended up napping with her on the couch. Again, not a long term solution. I really don't think she's ready for just 1 nap though because she was sooooo tired.
Last night, we gave her Tylenol in case it was teething pain and she slept all night no problem.
This morning, cue banshee screaming at nap time even though she doesn't appear to be in pain otherwise. I had to take her to the sitter's because I had a conference call and within minutes the sitter texted to say she's sleeping like an angel over there.
WTH - I seriously don't know what to do. Do I endulge her and assume she doesn't feel well? Keep giving her Tylenol even though she seems happy the rest of the time? Consider it a phase and nap together even though that really cuts into the time I can work (I WAH)? Let her come to our bed in the middle of the night if she gets up again? Figure it's separation anxiety and snuggle the heck out of her regardless of nap time?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I AM SO OVER SLEEP ISSUES. The frustration is seriously at the point where DH and I were discussing how we may never be ready to have another child again. This coming from the couple that wanted 3 kids. My mom gave away her baby stuff after having me because I was similarly difficult in the sleep department. I can't even explain how stressful it is to have a SCREAMING baby and know you're supposed to "let her cry for an hour and keep an iron napping fist" when your entire being wants to just scoop her up and snuggle.
I am sorry this is so long and venty and maybe nobody will have advice (it seems like people have the same issues a few weeks after I do since LO is an early December baby), so if you have any tips, please please please tell me. Or even if you just have words of encouragement, I could use them!
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Re: Okay seriously, WTH do I do? (long) Help!! (sleep related!)
Don't know what to tell you... Landon seems to be more needy than normal. Like he can't sit in a cart or stroller, he has to be held. He won't sit alone on the floor---he wants someone right there or holding him. This is a very recent change.
Maybe around 10-11 months they just start going through a needy period. Maybe it's related to their fear of strangers that is supposed to develop around this time?
Sorry... I hope it gets better!
This sounds terrible! You have every right to be stressed out, sleep is important for everyone. I wish I had a solution for you, but I only have sympathies. DD has done those exact same things, but not as bad.
I will say that if the tylenol helps use it! Sometimes I felt like I was drugging my baby like crazy, but when we have a banshee night we always break out the tylenol, or the gas medicine, or both. Sleeping baby= happy mommy=happy baby.
Also, if she naps at the sitter's can she go there more? DD was a terrible napper until she started at her current DC. She has always napped well for them and after a full week there she napped better for us at home too. Even now she'll still fight me a bit and I have to nurse her to sleep for her nap, but once she's out for good.
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I don't really have any advice. I do however want to tell you that my LO goes through spurts. She will sleep and go down easy as pie some nights and sleep right through the night for weeks at a time. Then all the sudden she has periods when she will wake up all night long and cry. The same with naps she will go down with out a fuss or a peep and then all the sudden for a few days she will fight naps.
We just try to continue to be consistant whenever this happens. I will admit that sometimes I can't take the crying and will rock her but for the most part we let her CIO. Unless she feels warm or seems to really be in pain I have to just assume she wants to be held. I am not really willing to undo all the hard work we put into getting her to STTN.
Sorry this is happening for you.
I have no advice, just sympathy. Like you, everything with sleep has been an issue for us. Two nights ago, same thing with B waking in the middle of the night screaming holy terror. No idea what is going on. I'm just praying it stops soon because I thought the days of being up for 2 hours in the middle of the night with an inconsolable infant were over.
I also have no desire to ever have another as a result of this experience. My H is not on the same page though.
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BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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This was us all weekend. I'm so over it, esp after we had like 10 glorious days of her sleeping straight through until after 7 am.
We don't let her into bed with us. Ever. Period. It's exhausting, but as long as we know she's fed and dry we let her work it out on her own. She doesn't spend more then a few minutes crying, then she just kind of stands in her crib or sits and babbles.
I chalk it up to yet another phase.
I'm so sorry. I can relate too. I have one of those "screams-and-gets-all-worked-up-until-sleep-is-impossible" babies. We tried quite a few different versions of trying to get him to work it out on his own and CIO things. Since my LO did often sleep through the night on his own and often falls asleep for naps on his own, I eventually chalked it up to something causing a problem. Whether that was developmental or physical or whatever, sometimes he just needs more help with sleep. So as long as something doesn't become habit, I do whatever it takes to help him sleep. I'm just trying to change it up so one particular thing doesn't become the norm. Sometimes I feed, sometimes I rock, sometimes we just sit on the couch. I always take him back to his crib once he falls asleep. I also let him cry for a little bit as long as it doesn't start escalating.
The way I finally rationalized it is that I don't see any 7-year-olds who need to be rocked to sleep every night, so things will work out eventually. Heck, many 3,4,5-year-olds need a story or something to help them transition to sleep, so why should we expect more from babies? I know the ideal is as the books say, a child that goes to bed awake and falls asleep all on their own, but sometimes I think that bar might be a bit too high right now for some LO's.
This. My kid totally knows how to play me, and has for wuite some time -- it just took me a while to figure it out! Turns out she's already smarter than I am.
Although I like HSHHC, I do agree that you have to do what works for your family. My bet is that this is separation anxiety, and it will get better if you stop responding to it by going in. She'll just learn to cry harder and longer and it will be even harder to cut it out in the long run.
Ugh, not that I mean to sound mean or anything -- it's hard. Thank goodness we're in a relatively good place with sleep right now (*knock wood*), but we have been there, and things can change so fast. Sorry you're going through this, and I hope you figure out a solution that works.
For naps I still use our noise machine on 'Ocean'. It works well, I think, because it blocks out a lot of the noise from an awake household. We also have a dark shade on his window so I can make it dark in there.
When he wakes at night how long do you wait to go in and soothe him? J will cry in his sleep sometimes but if we leave him alone he goes right back to sleep.
If J is upset I give him tylenol. It makes him feel better. I never feel bad or guilty about giving it to him.