November 2011 Moms

Anyone else's DH not going to have much time off when LO is born?

I am trying to decide the best way to divide DH's 7 days off he will get when LO is born. I will be having a c-section, so I know I am going to need the most help once we are home, since I can utilize the nursed at the hospital. At the same time, I really want DH to be at the hospital to bond with LO and help me so I don't have to rely on the nurses for everything or feel so lonely there. My mom will be able to be at the hospital if I really need her, but she has my niece that she raises and has to tend to her needs as well. I guess there really won't be a perfect solution. I really just wish he had at least a couple more days off. Sigh...

ETA: Did I say 7 days off, I meant 5. Sad

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Re: Anyone else's DH not going to have much time off when LO is born?

  • My husband may or may not get much time off, due to deployment. I plan to have him with me at the hospital during the day and at home with our 3 year old at night so he can sleep and she can stay mostly on schedule before we come home and it's the "All about baby" show. 
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  • My DH only has 4 days off.  We're planning on having him at the hospital the whole time and our first two days at home.  If things fall somewhere around the weekend we'll get some extra time with him in there...and then he'll have some time off at Thanksgiving, so that will help a bit as well.
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  • My DH is a contract IT guy, so he doesn't get paid for any time he takes off.

    My c-section is scheduled for Thursday the 17th. To minimize his unpaid workdays, he'll take that day off (obviously) but likely go to work Friday while I'm in the hospital. We assume we'll be coming home on Monday, so he'll take Monday and Tuesday off, go to work Wed, then he'll have Thursday (Thanksgiving) and Friday off anyway.

    The following week, he'll be back at work, and my mom is going to come spend the days with me.

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  • imageJnJ_9.22.07:

    My DH is a contract IT guy, so he doesn't get paid for any time he takes off.

    My c-section is scheduled for Thursday the 17th. To minimize his unpaid workdays, he'll take that day off (obviously) but likely go to work Friday while I'm in the hospital. We assume we'll be coming home on Monday, so he'll take Monday and Tuesday off, go to work Wed, then he'll have Thursday (Thanksgiving) and Friday off anyway.

    The following week, he'll be back at work, and my mom is going to come spend the days with me.

    I will be having a c-section too. I assume he will work a couple of the days I am in the hospital. He also has to get DS to and from school. He has alot on him.  He only has 5 days because he is pulling from next year's vacation. He has only been with his new job since July, so he doesn't have any time built up and doesn't qualify for FMLA. It will all work out, I am just nervous how we will juggle DS, me with c-sect, and him getting to bond with LO. I know it could all be worse. I really feel for the ladies who have husbands deployed :(.

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  • That's a suckey predicament to be in, I'm sorry ladies :( My husband is in the military and now I feel like a total brat for "complaining" that my husband had "too many" days off once my son was born lol idk if these are your first babies or not, but I know with my first child, after about a week, I was ready for my hubby to go back to work. I was ready to get settled into my daily routine with the baby, and hubby was throwing that all off lol Good luck, ladies :)
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  • We're still trying to decide how much time my DH will take off. He won't be getting paid so I don't think we can afford more than two days. Especially since his job just switched to winter hours, so less hours already. It's going to be tight but I just keep telling myself we've made it through harder times before.
    tiana
  • I'm with you.  my DH doesn't get any time off - he's in nursing school.
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  • imageshanellg:
    That's a suckey predicament to be in, I'm sorry ladies :( My husband is in the military and now I feel like a total brat for "complaining" that my husband had "too many" days off once my son was born lol idk if these are your first babies or not, but I know with my first child, after about a week, I was ready for my hubby to go back to work. I was ready to get settled into my daily routine with the baby, and hubby was throwing that all off lol Good luck, ladies :)

    This exactly!!  Last time, DH took 4 weeks off, and I was really ready for him to go back so we could get used to life.  This time he's taking 7 weeks off, and he's changing positions when he gets back, so he won't even have anything to work on while he's home.  But having to choose too little or too much time off, I would definitely choose too much. 

    I feel for you ladies, and hope you have easy deliveries/recoveries so you're able to manage on your own. 

    Big A 06-07-08 Little A 11-11-11
  • My husband's a teacher and we kind of had the baby at the perfect time. Certain times of year are horrendous to take off; November is the worst time. There's the end of the marking period grades due, teachers convention, thanksgiving break, election day, etc. And in his district, teachers cannot take off (easily) during all this. Plus there's a new superintendant and he is really trying not to make waves. Maternity/Paternity leaves for teachers can be tricky. There were about 2-3 times where he needed to leave early to take me to the hospital and he took a day off when I was admitted the week before I had the baby,. 

    We were lucky that when we had the baby, he ended up with two snow days from the freak snow storm. And next week, he has off for election day and two days for teacher convention. He ended up going in two days last week and he'll be going in two days this week.

    I think in total, he ends up taking 5-6 days off.  I do have to say though, the two days he had to go to work was really hard for both of us; I missed the help and he really missed the baby. 

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  • If he only has 5 days, I would want my husband to take off the day of my c-section and then take his other 4 days when I am at home. 
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  • My FI wont have any time off :(
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  • i would also suggest having your husband take half days. I happen to have the baby on Saturday so i was in the hospital sat and sun. That next week my hubby took half days off of work to spread out his time off. it worked out great because i got to spend some alone time with the baby and get used to dealing with things on my own (for four hour increments). It worked out really really well. If your husband has 5 days off he could take two weeks of half days. I don't know if his job would let him do that, but you should think about it.
  • imagepghjen:
    If he only has 5 days, I would want my husband to take off the day of my c-section and then take his other 4 days when I am at home. 

     I think this route is the one we will end up taking. Especially since he wants to have the most quality time comfortable at home.

    @authorofdreams, I am sorry your FI doesn't get any time! I would be in breakdown mode if that were our case.

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  • My DH has to take PTO for anything that he is going to take after baby.  He is planning on 2 weeks, but either 2 days or 4 days of that will be in the hospital and the rest of the time will be at home with me and LO.  He could take more than the 2 weeks but he is going to also take the week between Christmas and New Years off, so that we can have our company and different families over for Christmas(es).  He also may have the option to work from home once LO comes, so even though he'll be working, he essentially won't need THAT much time off.

    I'm sorry for those of you who have DH's or FI's in the military.  This must be tough.  And for those who have limited and no pay time, you will work out what works best for you and your family.

    As for OPs, I would say have him there the day the baby is born and then when you get home.  Can he come to the hospital in the evenings?

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  • DH is self employed so if he takes time off it is unpaid.  We can only swing one week off.  It is going to be quite the change.  DH was on unemployment when DD#1 was born and home my whole leave and then stayed at home with DD until she was 10 months old.
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  • I'm going in tomorrow night, and my DH is taking off Tuesday through Sunday. That's only 4 days off from work, and I imagine he'll still have to visit a few accounts even when he's "off." It's just the nature of his job. I can't be upset about it.

    My mom is staying at our house the first 2-3 nights we're home, and I'll probably have tons of visitors, so while I'm a little bummed on DH's behalf (I'd love for him to get to spend a few more days at home), I don't feel like I'll be alone too much or stuck without help.


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    DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
    DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in


  • A DH here :) .

    At the EDD I will have roughly 10 days of vacation to use. These are hours that will roll over to next year, so I can save them. In years past I have always rolled over at least a week and a half.

    Is it bad to hope the baby comes near the weekend so I can save hours? I figure I will need the hours next year for dr's appointments and things like that.

    The current plan is for me to use around 5 days or so, basically the first week. Then my parents will be up for a week, then DW's mom will be up for a week.

    One of my bosses at work recently went on 3-weeks of leave for his child's birth. Must be nice to be the boss.

  • imageSeldaar:

    A DH here :) .

    At the EDD I will have roughly 10 days of vacation to use. These are hours that will roll over to next year, so I can save them. In years past I have always rolled over at least a week and a half.

    Is it bad to hope the baby comes near the weekend so I can save hours? I figure I will need the hours next year for dr's appointments and things like that.

    The current plan is for me to use around 5 days or so, basically the first week. Then my parents will be up for a week, then DW's mom will be up for a week.

    One of my bosses at work recently went on 3-weeks of leave for his child's birth. Must be nice to be the boss.

    Awe, hi DH! It must be nice to be boss, huh? Mine is giving me the screw over my maternity leave as well. I make his money for him, and he takes lavish vacations all year long! 

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