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Asking for something relentlessly

ArcticFoxArcticFox member
in Pre-School and Daycare

My DD sometimes asks me for stuff, but she can be relentless if she wants something that moment.  Sometimes it is an item in the store (like one of those little plastic princess dolls in the Target checkout lanes), or while I was eating dinner she wanted me to get out her Shrinky Dinks supplies (which I said no to because I am eating and because I don't want to do that with our 2 year old getting into everything).

Sometimes she just gets going over and over, like "please mom, please, please, please?"  "Why can't I" "please, please please?" and then it can turn into 'not taking no for an answer" like we were at the mall and they had those machines that take coins for little toys or candy.  (It is NOT anything like asking me once daily for a christmas item!)

It is really annoying, especially if I'm trying to do something - eat dinner, checkout at the store, head home.. or pretty much do anything.  

Any suggestions?  Time out, punishment like a privilege or item revoked, etc?

I have told her why I say no, explained, told her that she needs to stop asking or she won't get it at all, or that I'm going to take away something else, that kind of thing, time out, but she is relentless and it doesn't seem to be improving.  Sometimes I think she thinks it is funny (because she'll start chanting and laughing).  I am so frazzled from this, I feel kind of mentally beat down in the sense that I feel like the kids hound me like that and DD is teaching our 2 year old to do the same.  I never give in, but I should probably be more strict in making her stop sooner once she gets going.

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Re: Asking for something relentlessly

  • Spin313Spin313 member
    My DS is on a repetition kick, too. For us, it's usually not about things like toys at the store though. Just this week, we were leaving a location and getting in the car when DS said he wanted a glass of water. I said, "sure honey, we'll get you a glass of water as soon as we get home." The WHOLE way home he kept saying over and over "mommy I'm thirsty, I need a glass of water please." I tried to explain that I didn't have any water in the car so he'd have to wait, but he just kept saying it. I wanted to tear my hair out!
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  • IlumineIlumine member

    We had/have this problem with Monkey.  We use time outs. I will tell her no, give a very brief why not and then if she asked again, will tell her that if she pesters me one more time, she will have time out.  

    And I do it CONSISTENTLY. That is the key.  I have made her stand in a corner in the grocery store, the movies and gymnastics.   

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  • PeskyPesky member
    I usually say "no but you can put it on your Christmas list/birthday list and maybe you will get it later."  She tries to repeat asking and then there is the warning of "if you ask for it one more time, you certainly WON'T be getting it.  Your decision -- keeping asking about it and not get it or stop asking about it and possibly get it."  This happened a couple times with dessert items and she didn't get it and so she knows now to stop.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • kmhunt11kmhunt11 member
    If DD is going to be obnoxious, we will remove her from the room we are in.  If we're eating dinner, I'm cooking or we're otherwise occupied and she gets like that she can either go to her room or play in a different room.  If she doesn't go on her own I put her in her room.  She will usually stop if I'm going to separate her from us.  
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  • Wally3Wally3 member
    DS just started doing this.  I say no twice and explain.  If he keeps bringing it up I ask him to tell me or think about what the answer is...then I try joking and switching to another subject.  Sometimes I will tell him I already answered him and remain quiet until he drops it or goes to another topic.

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  • AZ123AZ123 member

    I say "no" and give an explanation as to why. I then tell DS1 to look me in the eyes and when he does I say, "Ask me again and you're going to timeout. Do you understand?" Sometimes, I take away TV. You kind of have to get them where it hurts but doing the eye contact thing really helps give clarity that I sent the message about the consequences.

    Unfortunately, she's pestering you because she knows you'll break, which you have done before.

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