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Grandparents Visiting?

megs_glomegs_glo member
in Multiples

Reading all the in-law questions got me thinking - how often do your parents see the kids and how often do your in-laws see them?

 My mom is currently watching them 2 days a week for us, but my dad was only seeing them for about 5 minutes before he mowed our lawn for us.  But lawn mowing season is over so he sees them every 2 weeks.

Our in-laws want to see us all the time.  They are not helpful, they just want to sit and visit - I get the stink-eye if I try to do things around the house.  We told them we were busy last weekend (that was the first weekend they weren't seeing us after 3 weeks of seeing us every weekend) and now they are mad.  

So how often do the grandparents visit your children and what do you think is reasonable?

We always lived far away from my grandparents so we did not see them that often, so I don't have a good basis to go on.  DH does not remember seeing his grandparents that often either.  

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Re: Grandparents Visiting?

  • ashes1010ashes1010 member

    My Mom watches the girls once a week so I can go to spin class. We usually see my parents 1-2x week. They are super helpful and very easy to be around though. 

    My in-laws are another story. They live 9-hours away (Thank God). They aren't helpful at all. Like your in-laws, they just want to sit around and stare at the babies or hold them. The girls are at the age now where they want to kick around on their mat or jump in their jumperoo. They don't want to be held and stared at. My ILs don't get it. They are completely different from us and quite challenging to be around. We have seen them 3x since the girls were born at the end of May.  

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  • UsedToBeGoldieUsedToBeGoldie member

    my mom watches the twins 2 full days a month for me - every other Wed when I work... and my dad usually comes over for a couple hours on those days, too.

    We also have dinner with my family (my parents and my sister's family, sometimes my brother's family, too) almost every Sunday... so they see them then, too.

    My parents live in the same town- about 2 minutes away.

     DH's mom lives about 40 minutes away and isn't the type that likes to go places much - my kids see her maybe once every month... sometimes it goes 2-3 months between visits.... i'm fine with that- she's not fun to be around and smokes like a chimney (we don't visit her house b/c of this) so she reeks when she's in our house.

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • missfiremissfire member
    My parents are a few hours away, but they visit at least once a month. They are great babysitters and just adore the kids, and know where everything in our house is, etc.

    My FIL died earlier this year before meeting the twins, and MIL is now snowbirding down south for the winter. But ever since the babies were born, she has tried to come help every so often and our relationship has gotten worse and worse. My kids are overwhelming sometimes when I get so little sleep, but she gets really uncomfortable when I seem stressed out or the kids get loud. So for the last few months before she left, we tried to just have her over when DH was here and I was gone. I felt really bad, but wasn't sure how to handle it better - if I could always manage all three of my kids with a smile on my face and no stress, I wouldn't need to accept her offers of help!
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  • festivusfestivus

    My mom comes to help for a few hours about 3 days a week, so she's here by far the most. My dad has come only a few times since the babies were born (almost 12w), but we've also seen them about 3 times at my sister's for different functions.

    My inlaws would come daily if we invited them but end up coming about once a week. While they are well intentioned, they're not that great with the boys yet. The first few visits, the boys just rested peacefully in their arms, and I think that's what they came to expect. Now that the boys are significantly fussier and sleep less, my inlaws, especially FIL, are not really helpful. I'm happy to have them visit (most of the time, LOL!) but wish I could actually do something productive or just sleep instead of feeling like I have to monitor the goings on (so they don't totally undo what we're trying to do...). Like a PP said, I may need to start leaving the house sometimes when they visit so I can at least get errands done.

     

    TTC for 3 years. Finally successful after 5 IUIs and 2 cycles of IVF. Our amazing twins were born 5 weeks early on 8/16/11. Found out April 2012 that our di/di twins are ID.

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  • kelliwillkelliwill
    When the girls were first born my mom lived 45 min away and would stay over 3 nights per week to help us.  It was great.  Tight space wise, but very helpful.  DH's parents on the other hand lived in the same town and were and are NOT helpful at all.  They just wanted to sit and hold the babies and watch our large TV and have me cook dinner.  Crazy.  WE had to really set limits with them at first and they didn't react well.  HUGE fights with DH over it (Them fighting, not me).  They are crazy and way controlling.  We had to set limits.  It was a process for DH to learn.  When the girls were 13 mos old we moved 45 min away from DH's parents and my mom moved to the same town as us.  My mom watches them 4 days per week and we see DH's parents 1x per month at the MOST.  Which is plenty by me.  Personally I wish we lived farther from them.  They don't like to drive and so it works out in our favor.  However, this too has been a learning experience.  They expect to call us and for us to jump and let them come over whenever they want.  NOT going to happen.  WE pretty much dictate it and they can either go with it or not.  It may sound harsh but we've has so many huge issues with them that we have to set a ton of limits about it in order for us to say sane and healthy in our relationship.  My dad and step mom live about 70 min away and they come 1x per month at the most as well.  They however are helpful and will bring dinner and watch the kids while we do stuff around the house, or my Dad will help my DH around the house.  I say you need to talk to DH and set up some boundaries.  I can't imagine seeing my IL's every weekend for 3 weekends in a row!!  GL!
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  • Beachmommy101Beachmommy101
    1st off the babies r precious!!! Well, I actually my parents and in-laws are pretty close and I get along good with them as well we see them at least twice a week because we live close and are a very close knit family! I hope everthing goes good good luck!!!
    Elliott Louis and Brooklynn Jade twins Jeremy and Jen married 11 wonderful years
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