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amymccoy1217
member
sex after delivery
amymccoy1217
member
I am feeling a little nervous about having sex for the first time after I had my son, its been a while since we stopped having sex around monthe five 
. One reason is I am worried about the pain, another is I am a little self concious about the my body, and finally I worried it wont feel the same for him because I have to be streched out. What did you guys do to help get things going again? Thanks
This discussion has been closed.
Re: sex after delivery
I had sex up until the day before I delivered, and I had sex 3 days after I delivered. He took it easy, and honestly I didn't hurt at all. I hope this isn't too much information, but "doggy" is probably a good position if you're worried.. that didn't hurt me at all. As for being stretched out, I'm sure that's true to some degree, but my DH claimed it didn't feel any different.
I lost a lot of weight after my pregnancy.. I have lost a total of 30lbs, and I only gained 8lbs with my pregnancy (and my LO was 8lbs). I'm sure you look absolutely beautiful. You just had a baby, and I'm sure your DH finds you just as attractive (if not more) as he did before! Give it a shot. And warn your DH, if it hurts, he just has to stop! lol
Um. Wow.
To the girl who had sex 3 days after delivery -
.
To the OP, I'm in the same boat and hoping to find some helpful answers. It is my goal this weekend to finally "reunite" with DH. It's been so long, I think I'm a born-again virgin.
ETA: Now it makes sense.
DH and i just did for the first time this weekend. i think we were both nervous. i had 3rd degree episiotomy with a forcep delivery. so not only was i nervous about pain but self consious about how it would feel for him. i know those forceps stretched things out even more than a normal vaginal delivery. honestly, there was a little bit of pain at first. it was more outside pain than any pain on the inside. (does that make sense?) it wasn't unbearable. kind of like the pinching feeling i had as the stitches healed. but just go slow and it'll be fine. and get lube. lots of lube.
and 3 days after? really?! i would have had to excuse myself to remove the monster pad from my panties first. now that's sexy.
LOL!!!! This exactly!
Right?? LOL
To answer your question: Two Letters for you:
K....Y....
And a glass of wine (or 3) didn't hurt either!
GL!
I saw my doctor at 4 weeks and he told me to wait 2-3 more weeks and gave me some medicine to help heal things down there. He also told me to use lots of lube and to be on top.
To the person who had sex at one week -- I don't care what you do, but please realize that the reason they say to wait to have sex is because of the increased risk of infections from shoving tampons and dicks up your vagina.
To the OP-- I too, am quite scared of pp sex when I am cleared by my doctor to do it. I am definitely going to take the advice of wine or spirits + lots of lubrication. I'm told by many other mamas that you just have to keep at it until it doesn't hurt so bad. BF also can cause vaginal dryness from what I've been told. So stock up on your KY (like another poster said) and go slow. I understand the fear. I am ready to have sex though. It will be a good stress relief and I really can't wait to connect with my husband like that again. I know he is ready haha.
To this poster:
The reason people are giving you a hard time is that it is a VERY unwise idea to have sex that soon after delivery. There is a reason they give you a 6 week waiting period. You could give yourself a very hard to treat infection of the vagina or uterus that way. The pain or bleeding is not the issue, but the risk for infection. Its your body etc., but that can mean very dire things for your reproductive system if you choose to take the gamble.
Its not that we are trying to be mean. Its just amazingly risky!
god, i'm terrified of labor
(and now the sex that will come after!)
3 days after delivery? You've got to be kidding, right?
I tried being intimate with my DH 3 weeks after delivery and I thought THAT was too soon.
You aren't just getting the side-eye because of bleeding and pain... you are getting it because there are medical reasons to abstain from intercourse (risk of infection is very high). I too give your 3 days PP sex romp a huge
.
OP - DH and I wait 8w PP. My OB cleared me at 6w but I was terrified of the pain and also very self conscious of my new body. I won't lie, it did hurt. PP's have all given you great tips: lots (LOTS) of lube (when you think you've used enough, put more!), take it slow and have some vino first! GL!
yikes... when a doc tells me to avoid shoving things inside of me, I do it.
Yeah... you're a dumbass. As others have pointed out, the waiting period is to avoid potential infection of the GAPING WOUND on the inside of your uterus where the placenta detached. That's why you bleed postpartum.
Also... ew at the crime scene sex. EW! Your husband probably looked like he murdered you.
Anyway, to the OP. All I can suggest is lube, ESPECIALLY if you're BFing, which sucks a lot of fluid out of you to produce milk.
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
You had a gaping hole in your uterus that is an open wound to infection. You're an idiot. That's not an opinion.
Yeah, you're not supposed to have sex 3 days pp for the same reason you aren't supposed to have a penis in your vagina 3 days pp.
You're a dumbass.
And to the OP, yep, lube and wine. You'll find that you will have to use lube for the whole time you are breastfeeding.
And honestly, the first time I had a c/s. And sex was a lot more painful the first time after that. This time I had a VBAC (no tears), and it was actually pretty good for the first time pp.
I forgot to include the obligatory gif.
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
3 days pp!!! holy hell! I was in the hospital unitl 4 days pp and swolen shut down there for at least a week. There is no way in hell I was having sex. Besides, I wasn't willing to risk it, even after 4 weeks when I just wanted to jump my husband. No way I want to risk infection or possible problems in the future with babies so I just dealth with it. You are a whole lot of stupid.
Happy Easter
My Blog
hit the brakes.
i can only imagine how awesome crime scene sex felt.
that had to have been a total bloodbath.
lol MURDER BY JUNK!
and yeah, ITA to all of this.
and to the OP- do NOT do doggy for the first try... that is what is called a "maximum penetration" position. OW. (it probs didn't hurt rchcrazycakes bc her cervix was still dilated from childbirth)
If you happened to be that lucky it is good for you but that doesn't make it sound advice for the majority who will not be pain and bleeding free in a week's time...did your doc clear you for sex at 3 days? Because if not, that's a choice you clearly made and I am glad it worked out for you-but I;m not sure its the best thing to go telling a nervous FTM who most likely will have a more typical postpartum experience
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this is better than what i said
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take it from a 59 year young and wise baby nurse who has been one for 36 years... Having sex after 3 days is the most dangerous thing one can do to themselves, perhaps nothing happened to you and they may be others that nothing will happen but there is something called: Uterine embolism - which will kill obviously not you but has killed and will continue doing so many other women who attempt to have sex before it is time!
You also risk getting pregnant instantly but the danger lies in you not allowing proper time to heal your womb or your cervix which should be totally closed before you have sex to prevent vicious infections that are very difficult to cure and they can reoccur... Though it worked for you, (Thank God) I would not advise anyone to do this because it can be deadly... What may have been successful to one or perhaps two, others may not be as lucky, my humble suggestion is: I wouldn't risk it before 6 weeks and should you make a mistake, wait at least after 4 weeks, less riskier...
The life you save maybe your own!
Outstanding lol
Well, for us things almost never stopped. We had sex practically up until I gave birth and then, when I got really sick of dry humping my H, we just did it. I managed to hold of until day fifteen (which is the longest we ever went without having sex without being physically separated from one another). Don't know how you guys do 6 weeks. Kudos to you all.
Luckily, my OB kinda gave me the go ahead, so (I say kinda because she said AT LEAST fifteen days, but all my horndog mind heard was, like, WAIT fifteen days... when I went to my month app and told her I had already had sex, she wasn't very pleased). Funnily enough, one month or so after delivery I spent almost 3 weeks without almost any sex drive. I mean, I could get things going after a jump start, but I needed a jump start - first time in my life. And it took me longer to climax as well. I just didn't feel horny, you know? Serious timing flaw in mother nature there.
Anyway, my real advice to you is - let him seduce you. Relax and let him get your juices flowing well before the act. Don't just go into it unless you are feeling confortable and able to come. Sex is not a duty - it's pleasure. Don't turn it into work. Wait until it comes naturally.
I felt stretched out at first - I felt it, me. I couldn't squeeze his cocck or anything. My DH said it wasn't any different (he is so sweet). But right now, to me it feels the same as it did before giving birth, so I think I've already regained my muscle tone. So just be patient. On the positive side, my G spot seems to be more easily accessible now. Something must have changed in the architecture there, I think.
If I were you, I'd avoid doggy style and being on top while on the bed because these are positions that allow deeper penetration. Try maybe on your feet or on top of him on a chair?
Anyway, feel free to PM me for other ideas, or just for a pep talk, if you like. I check my PM regularly, so you don't have to "announce".
Best of luck to you!
Reading some of these responses is cracking me up! LMFAO!
I agree with everyone why would you or your husband want to have sex 3 days PP?? You just pushed a baby out of your vagina I would assume you must have felt some pain pushing a baby out!? Not to mention if your partner saw that happen with all the blood & fluid that comes out I would think that would be pretty fresh in his mind but hey whatever turns you on..
Dont get me wrong I enjoy doing the deed with my husband but currently 5 weeks PP the last thing I want to do is have sex right now! Call me crazy but I am just not turned on while I am changing poopy diapers, cleaning spit ups off my shoulder, having her cry, and thinking about the delivery I just had 5 weeks ago.
Lube and wine will be my best friend when that time does come! lol
GL
We waited until after the 6 wk appointment. It did hurt a little the first time so we stopped and at my next mid wife appointment I had her check out the downstairs and she said it appeared that even though I was over 6 wks pp my healing was only at the four wk pp stage. We gave it another couple wks and tried again and it was much better. Also lots of lube helps :0)
You shouldn't be self concious about your body, it just performed a mircle and I'm sure your hubby loves the extra curvature (mine did...lol) If it's been a while, as a part of fore play tell each other things that you find attractive about each other (he likes compliments too) and the spots you might feel self concious about could very well be super hot in his eyes.
Good Luck, relax and enjoy!
My little man at 0-1-2