Advice Please (shower related)

AshleyAnthony2B · November 2011

Sorry for lack of formatting, bumping from droid. My mother has recently let me know that there are plans for a shower in the works... for mid january. And she has requested i stop baby shopping until after the shower. Im due feb 6th! I already feel so behind (have only bought some clothes, diapers, wipes, diaper bag, first aid kit, and some bottles) if i stop shopping until mid january, and end up still missing essentials from the shower, i wont have much time to prepare. She doesnt even want me buying furniture/bedding... what would you do? Shop in secret?

Snowypumpkinqueen · November 2011

I would still shop, what if LO comes early? She really can't stop you from doing so!

icajesica82 · November 2011

I would shop and keep receipts. Then you can return if you want but you have the stuff you want if you dont get it. If you want tell her exactly this. That you want to make sure that you have the essentials since the shower is going to be a few weeks before your due.

RNmommyof2 · November 2011

Buy the things you need and take them off your registry as you buy them. I hate not feeling prepared.

Meganequine · November 2011

If it were me I'd probably still shop, but save all my reciets (sp?) in case I get doubles. Maybe wait until after Christmas in case you get some then. . . and don't buy things you won't need right away (that you could buy after baby is born/a little earlier). Have you talked to your mom about your concerns, I think they are very valid! That only gives you 2-3 weeks, and if baby did come early you might not be ready.

My showers are probably going to be the first two weekends in Jan., but I'm not due until the end of Feb.- so i feel a lot better about that.

AshleyAnthony2B · November 2011

Thanks for the input ladies. Im probably irrationally stressed over this, cause my mom has seen our registry and will know if we remove items. I dont want to seem ungrateful for the shower, or too impatient, but i am such a planner. I was thinking of continuing to buy the absolute essentials (have a stock of clothing, diapers, wipes, maybe a pack n play where baby could sleep if worst comes to worst and we dont get gifted our crib) and that can all stay on the registry, because we will need lots... i dont know:S someone tell me im overthinking?

dmsny · November 2011

icajesica82:
I would shop and keep receipts. Then you can return if you want but you have the stuff you want if you dont get it. If you want tell her exactly this. That you want to make sure that you have the essentials since the shower is going to be a few weeks before your due.

This!

Jillibean85 · November 2011

AshleyAnthony2B:
Thanks for the input ladies. Im probably irrationally stressed over this, cause my mom has seen our registry and will know if we remove items. I dont want to seem ungrateful for the shower, or too impatient, but i am such a planner. I was thinking of continuing to buy the absolute essentials (have a stock of clothing, diapers, wipes, maybe a pack n play where baby could sleep if worst comes to worst and we dont get gifted our crib) and that can all stay on the registry, because we will need lots... i dont know:S someone tell me im overthinking?

I wouldn't stress too much over the crib... our LO didn't even sleep in her crib for the first few months (we kept her in a bassinet)... this time around we're using a PNP for the first few months (keeping it in our room close to our bed) and buying the crib a little later...

LAIM · November 2011

I would probably try to hold back, you will be amazed at the generosity of people at your shower, especially if your mom seems to think these things will be purchased for you. I would feel stressed though about not being able to work on the nursery, maybe talk to your mom about that part of it.

JRiley82 · November 2011

I would probably still shop some. Maybe just for what you think you will need right away and see what you get at your shower. Definately save receipts for anything just in case you get it at your shower - you can return one and get something else. DH is kind of like that with me - he keeps telling me I can shop all I want after our showers but to wait and see. Though we did already buy the stroller/carseat and furniture, but not the bedding or mattress. I've only bought two boxes of diapers, one box of wipes (granted both were the jumbo boxes), and a handful of clothes. I might skip on buying clothes just because people love buying them for showers or when they come see the baby afterwards.

MollySm · November 2011

My shower is Jan 8th, and we are due mid-February. I am impatient for it, because I want to keep working on her room, but I'm just trying to get over that. We'll have it painted and as ready to go as we can, but otherwise I'm just going to wait for the shower.

I think for you it's fine to buy things you need, but I wouldn't worry about diapers and clothes. People will give you those things, and even if they don't, it's a 2 second run into the store to grab them if you need them. I'm so convinced we are going to have too many clothes that she never wears, so other than a coming home outfit, I'm not going to buy any until it gets closer and I see what we actually have. Probably a carseat is the one big thing I think I would make sure to have if my shower was only a couple of weeks before my due date.

kristin172429 · November 2011

Oh those moms of ours! She is probably thinking that you will get a lot of things at your shower, but the timeline is really close. I am lucky to have a wider timeline (my shower is 12/4, due 2/1), but I still have things that I want to buy and holding off until after the shower is tough!

What I am doing is making a list of the key must-haves: car seat, pack-n-play (using as bassinet in our room to start), diapers, a few clothes - this gets the baby home with something to wear and somewhere to sleep. I am making this priority item list now so if I don't receive them as gifts, I know exactly what to buy first post-shower. You could plan ahead and do the same, but with your shower being so close, you could go a step further and purchase the items on your priority list without removing them from the registry, save the receipts, and if you receive them as a gift - great, return what you bought and if you don't receive them, you know you have the things you feel are essential.

If you are planning on baby sleeping in their crib from the get-go, then that is more of a priority, but if they will be bunking with you in a pack-n-play or bassinet to start, then it's okay to wait on the crib. As for bedding....all you really need is a fitted sheet. Nothing else should be in the crib anyway. Buy a fitted sheet or two and leave your bedding on the registry. Just remember to prioritize by what baby actually needs. I know it is more tempting to prioritize on having the nursery all pretty and done, but in the end, the baby certainly won't care if it takes you a little longer after his arrival to get everything. Wink

DBride2006 · November 2011

We bought everything for our nursery ourselves... furniture, decor, bedding, etc. We had all of that in place and still had PLENTY on our registry for my showers. My advice would be to buy anything you think you'll need RIGHT away (carseat, basic newborn/0-3 month clothes, feeding, some diapers & wipes, ) and leave the rest for the shower.

I don't know about your family/friends and showers in your area, but in all the showers I've been to, you'll get a few "big" things and mostly clothes, blankets, etc. So, I don't think it's reasonable to wait for your shower to get ALL of the furniture and big ticket items you might need. But you can wait for high chairs, strollers, play mats, jumpers, monitors, etc.

cheese.fiend · November 2011

icajesica82:
I would shop and keep receipts. Then you can return if you want but you have the stuff you want if you dont get it. If you want tell her exactly this. That you want to make sure that you have the essentials since the shower is going to be a few weeks before your due.

This. While babies don't NEED a whole ton of stuff, I know how stressed I'd be if I couldn't have the nursery set up like I wanted and/or have some bigger essentials.

lylipad · November 2011

Oh Boy! That would stress me out. I just asked for mine to be moved to December because my mom finally decided on January 29 (BTW my EDD is also feb 6)...I totally panicked about having time to buy things I don't get from the shower. If I were you I would compromise with her and not buy any more little things, also find out if grandparents are planning to buy big ticket items like the car seat, stroller, crib etc. Remind her how stressful it is to be a FTM and worrying about the neccessities. Also remember that Xmas is coming up and your parents/ IL's are probably going to buy you practical baby things too!

GL

ghdst1 · November 2011

With DS I really didn't buy anything. The only things we get ourselves was the furniture for the nursery and I got about 20 pieces of sleepers/clothing but that was it. I knew I was having showers and would be getting a lot of stuff.

Also you can talk to her about which items you would prefer to have sooner....like the furniture. But most other things you will probably get from the shower.

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