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How is it possible...

howleyshellhowleyshell member
in Pre-School and Daycare

that they can be SO different at school from how they are at home?

Just had Jace's first parent-teacher conference and frankly?  While it's wonderful to hear that he's a model student, friend, etc it makes me wonder what the helllll I'm doing wrong at home.

I even asked if it was possible that the honey moon period hadn't worn off yet and she assured me that if a child is gonna be a boundary tester they usually see it by now (he's been there since the beginning of June).

I'm THRILLED that he's well behaved at school but it really does make me wonder why I'm so incapable of getting the same kind of behavior out of him at home.

Guess when push comes to shove I'd rather have him show respect to his teachers and friends over me but still.... it stings a bit.

 

 

Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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Re: How is it possible...

  • UsedToBeGoldieUsedToBeGoldie member

    this is SOOOO common. I can't tell you how many parent/teacher conferences I had when i was a K teacher that this was the case... parents amazed their kids was so good at school.

    some of it comes down to teachers often just being really good at discipline- you have to be b/c you have 20+ kids to deal with all day... there is no room for slack.  Teachers also have them in a school setting - during certain hours of the day.... not out at stores, not during the witching hour before dinner, etc....

    if you think you need help with parenting techniques, that is one thing- but if you feel like what you are doing is good- then just chalk it up to the normal differences many kids have between home and school :)

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Honestly it sounds totally normal to me.  Kids are comfortable at home so they don't stress as much about acting perfect and putting on the show of being OK in all situations, they can let the real feelings out.  Also, after being in school all day - kids are tired and just let go.  I know for the longest time, my older DD would have a perfect day at school and the second she saw me at pick-up, she would just lose it.  It was as if the thought "Mommy is here, I don't have to act perfect anymore" went through her mind and she just let every emotion from the day that she had kept all bottled up out.  I still find the transition from school to home can be challenging - no different than my switching from work to mom can sometimes be.  I try to follow my girls leads when I pick them up - if they need to just sit and stare out the window, that is what we do.  If they are in a talkative mood - I let them talk away.  The two girls in the car together can be stressful at that point if their moods are not the same.  We try and have a bit of time between when we get home to when we sit down so we can all unwind a bit.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • MrsBalletStar05MrsBalletStar05 member
    Yup!  I went to parent/teacher conferences and was told he never hits anyone, ever and that he is quiet....um, WHAT?!?  The child I know hits and pushes everyone in sight (cry!) and is loud and crazy.  FTR though, the hitting and pushing has gotten TONS better since school started.  Couldn't believe we were talking about the same child though - but I am glad!  I guess all the talks about, "You can't hit anyone at school" got through to him (because I was so paranoid that he'd be a bully at school).
    Adrian 7.6.07 - ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Learning Disability-NOS
    Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
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