Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: S/O to I'm shaking my head at this
I voted yes, but sometimes I do wonder.
I was induced which makes me wonder if things could have changed but overall I'm very happy with how hard they tried to let me deliver vaginally. My DS was sunny side up and had the cord around his neck 2 times. Every time I pushed his heart rate plummeted so they were only allowing me to push every other contraction. They also had me change position after every push and get into other birthing positions. My c-section happened when after one contraction his heart rate went way down and they were unable to bring it back up like it had been doing previously. They gave me medicine to stop my labor and I had my c-section.
Also, I am comforted by the fact that the hospital I delivered at and will again has the lowest c-section rate in all of Northern California.
Probably not, but even if it was, it was made that way by the induction I actually didn't need in the first place. I was incorrectly diagnosed with low fluid and induced because of it.
That article sucks so hard.
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
I don't know. If it was, I think it might have been iatrogenic--like Geekers said, the need was caused by medical interventions.
What I do know is that the reason my OB gave me for needing the c/s--my pelvis being too small--is definitely not true, since I had no trouble pushing out a slightly larger baby with my VBAC.
I put probably yes because my water was broken and it was clear my uterus wasn't in the game. However, the induction that led to my c-section was not medically necessary.But there was nothing about my pregnancy that called for a c-section.
I believe I would have had a vaginal delivery if I had gone into labor on my own.
I voted probably yes, but I still can't help wondering if there wasn't more that could've been done to prevent it from happening.
I went into labor on my own and progressed really quickly. I pushed for 3+ hours before the doctor called for the c/s. DS was sunny side up (discovered that during labor), but to my knowledge, both of us were tolerating labor well.
I wish I was encouraged to try other positions (I wasn't thinking clearly enough to ask after hours of med-free labor) or other alternatives, but I was so exhausted that when the talk of the c/s came up, I gave up and in.
CPD was the reason for my c/s, but I question that, and because of that my OB (who didn't deliver DS) is giving me the run around about attempting a VBAC this time, which is frustrating, but that's another story.
I voted yes. I know in my heart there is no way I could/would have been able to give birth vaginally. My daughter was 9lbs.8oz, sunny side up, and I had made no progress at all by 40 weeks. I was so closed up my doc couldn't even check me. I know that some would have waited, but I just knew.
That said, while I am thankful that we are all healthy and happy now, I was in no way completely satisfied with my c/s experience. I had SO many complications afterward that it was somewhat traumatizing. Despite my high tolerance for pain and being on morphine, I almost passed out every time they made me walk or get up in recovery. At 1 wk. PP I woke up in the am with giant hematomas all up and down my thighs and around my pelvis. I looked like I'd been beaten with a baseball bat. We went in, and my white blood cell levels were off the charts. They still don't know why. At 2 wks. PP, my incision opened and I had to go in every day for a week for wound care.
It was not pleasant and I don't think that having a healthy baby and being unhappy with your c/s experience have to be mutually exclusive.
That is pretty much exactly what happened with my c/s. So frustrating! I think it's hard to accurately diagnose CPD with a malpositioned baby (sunny side up, or OP position, is a malposition). If you have an OP baby, the odds of having a c/s increase significantly, so it may have nothing to do with your pelvis size. So I think you are right to question the CPD--over 60% of women who attempt a VBAC after CPD will be successful.
I was diagnosed with CPD after my c/s and the OB told me I would never be able to deliver vaginally unless I had a preemie. I had no issues having a VBAC with my full-term son.
GL!
My first c/s was absolutely necessary. DS was breech. He was frank breech and his head wasn't in a good position to attempt a vaginal delivery (the chin should be tucked to allow for the best outcome when delivering a frank breech baby).
My second section was needed at the time. Perhaps if I wasn't induced it might have ended differently, but cord issues were causing decels and also preventing him from descending. Would the cord issues have been present if I hadn't been induced? Hard to say. I do know that between the decels and my VBAC status, and being stalled at 7cm for 8 hours, I wasn't comfortable continuing to labor so my doctor and I made the decision for a c/s.
It might have been necessary at the time it was done, but I think it could have been prevented. My c-section was technically for "fetal distress", and he had the cord wrapped around his neck, but he was also malpositioned. He was "asynclitistic", which means his head was in a diagonal position. He was also either coming out brow or face-first...I don't remember which.
My water broke but I didn't go into active labor, so they started me on Pitocin, which lead to an epidural. I think if I had been allowed to wait a bit to see if labor would start on its own, maybe he would have been able to be repositioned. As it was, with the pit-induced contractions and then the epi, he didn't really have a chance to move around.
My thoughts change on this by the month. When he was first born I didn't care. After I came home from the hospital I began to wonder if my midwife had been more proactive in addressing his position (posterior), that might have changed things. Later I began to wonder if I had asked for an epidural earlier during labor things might have gone differently. There is no way for me to know if things might have ended differently.
Not at all. They gave me cytotec which in turn caused bleeding, and they told me that was why I had to have a c-section since they didn't know why I was bleeding. I was induced with my vbac and had a wonderful and quick labor so I really think I could have done it with my older daughter if I had been given the chance to even labor. They did the c-section before they even started the pitocin.
I really feel like if I wasn't induced with my older dd, I wouldn't have had the section.
This is me. Mine was necessary by the time I had it (which makes no sense, I know), but I think my labor could have been handled differently with better results.
I was admitted when I was in early labor bc I was told DS was having late decels, but my records don't have anything about how they were worried about him (though that's what they told me at the time). Anyhoo, I dilated on my own and pushed for 4+ hours until it was determined that he was posterior. My choices at that point were get an epidural, rest, and try to push more, or have a c-section. It was 5 am, I had been in the hospital for 12+ hours, and had eaten very little food. I can't help but think if I had been able to eat and rest at my own house, or if the MWs had actually paid attention to his position, maybe I would have been able to avoid the c-section. It is what it is, and I had a successful VBAC with my second son, but it still p!sses me off to some degree...
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Thanks for the reply Iris. And I am so encouraged and motivated by your story!
I voted yes. I had severe pre-E/HELLP so at that time it was necessary. At the same time i always wonder if i could have eaten better/taken better care of myself to have avoided getting it in the first place which ultimately would have prevented the c-section.
I voted yes because it was an emergency, she was in fetal distress so definatly.
Do I think a VBAC is nessisary this time? NOPE.
I voted probably yes.
But only because at the time it was decided that I would have a c-section, DS was in distress and it was necessary.
But I shouldn't have been induced in the first place. That wasn't medically necessary and I believe my induction led to my c/s.
At the time I had mine it was not, it was a choice...
I had been induced for 48 hours with no progress at 34 weeks due to pre-e.
I was exhausted. They told me I could wait it out but I mentally could no longer be strapped to the bed!
I'm pretty sure they both were.
I was induced with Kate, but after 55 hours of labor, I was at a 10 and pushed for 4 hours. Turns out she had craniosynostosis so a vaginal birth probably wasn't going to happen.
Tried to VBAC with Caroline but her heartrate was dropping every time I pushed.
DD was breech and my OB wouldn't even talk about anything we coud do to turn her. He also told me that her fluid was too low to turn herself, which I don't really believe after the fact. He scheduled my c-section for 38 weeks and I truly believe it was mainly for his convenience rather than what was best for me and baby.
I think mine was, because i had no fluid left. I didnt realize it had all leaked out. My daughter pushed on my bladder all the time so i never realized the fluid wasnt just urine.
But i had to FIGHT and get a new DR jsut for my right to try Vbac