~FFFC~

DeputiesWife · November 2011

Flame free or just confessions!

DeputiesWife · November 2011

I confess I am sad we arent going 'home' for the holidays. DH has talked me out of it and I understand where he is coming from. Each time we go home I get my hopes up that my family will be different (my aunts, uncles, cousins and kids) meaning they actually want to see us and spend time with us and make plans. Im not saying drop everything cause we are home but at least make an attempt. DH and I go out of our way to see everyone when we can, especially when we are home and time and time again the feeling isnt recipracated. I keep getting my hopes up and then Im let down and DH doesnt want to see me hurt, especially around the holidays. (whew, that was long).

I have a relative in jail. I feel bad we dont go and see him on the few time we have driven home (his 'camp' is on the way). I fully think he did all he was charged with, but he is still family.

I confess that my BIL spends WAY to much money on his mom for Christmas and we cant compete with that. (yes i know he doesnt have a spouse or SO or children or anyone else but still...)

...i may have more...

vanessagorc · November 2011

I really hate when non new yorkers try to give people advice on NYC....I have lived here 13 yrs. I think i know more than ur cousin who came in from Nebraska to see the Lion King.

Along that line...I hate when people (mil) say "why do u live here, u could live in a mansion somewhere else". Um, no $hit..u don't think we know that???!!! I don't question ur lifestyle, so how about backing off of mine. Maybe u aren't a city person, i get that...but how about considering this is prob the most amazing city in the world. So therefore, there is most likely something worthwhile about living here.

illinigal · November 2011

This is going to sound bad, but I am jealous that my parents give so much money to my twin nieces and nephew for their birthdays and Christmas. Granted, the vast majority of it goes in their college funds, but I know how much they give. If dh and I never have another kid/s, we will never get that. And yes, I know it costs alot to raise a kid and send them to college. And yes, dh and I would be fine if my parents never did that for us. However, when I think of the thousands of dollars given over their lifetimes so far (and more to come), it makes me sad a little. Now that we are 100% OOP for our next IVF, I'm hoping my parents will give us some money for their "potential" grandchildren instead of waiting for "actual" grandchildren.

mrsgcal · November 2011

While I am honest to goodness extremely excited that my BFF is having her first baby today I can't help but be a little jealous. She got pregnant on her first IVF and is already having the baby. I have done 2 IUI's and 2 IVF's in that time and I'm nowhere near closer to being pregnant than I was back in February. I realize I am blessed to have another baby in my life that I will love to the moon and back, but I can't help but wonder where mine is.

MoFree · November 2011

I know this is not kind hearted and a BFN is a BFN, but I have a very hard time feeling empathy for someone with 2 or more children whose IVF is not successful. I really feel like respondng, "FFS, you have 2 children and I'd love to be in that situation and I don't give a F that you WANT more." Flame away.

mrsgcal · November 2011

MoFree:
I know this is not kind hearted and a BFN is a BFN, but I have a very hard time feeling empathy for someone with 2 or more children whose IVF is not successful. I really feel like respondng, "FFS, you have 2 children and I'd love to be in that situation and I don't give a F that you WANT more." Flame away.

Ug Mo, I could tell you 2 stories right now that would make your skin crawl about situations like that. No flames from me.

Bella2u07 · November 2011

I know there are other RE offices that offer IVF at a much higher cost then mine does, and I know I am very lucky to have an RE that has prices that are affordable, but I just found out that my RE increased his prices. SOB! I think I just saw my chance of doing IVF again go out the door, since Dh didn't like the cost last time, he is really not going to like the prices this time. FML! Being OOP SUCKS!!!

DeputiesWife · November 2011

I confess I wish I had the strength sometimes to say how I really feel....

illinigal · November 2011

Bella2u07:

I know there are other RE offices that offer IVF at a much higher cost then mine does, and I know I am very lucky to have an RE that has prices that are affordable, but I just found out that my RE increased his prices. SOB! I think I just saw my chance of doing IVF again go out the door, since Dh didn't like the cost last time, he is really not going to like the prices this time. FML! Being OOP SUCKS!!!

Hugs. Are you going to try to win that cycle Kthappy posted about?

blueberries8 · November 2011

Bella2u07:
I know there are other RE offices that offer IVF at a much higher cost then mine does, and I know I am very lucky to have an RE that has prices that are affordable, but I just found out that my RE increased his prices. SOB! I think I just saw my chance of doing IVF again go out the door, since Dh didn't like the cost last time, he is really not going to like the prices this time. FML! Being OOP SUCKS!!!

(((hugs))) That does suck I hope you guys will still be able to work something out in the not-so distant future.

BeeBee08 · November 2011

DeputiesWife:
I confess I wish I had the strength sometimes to say how I really feel....

For whatever it is that you can't say yet, I'm sending you ((hugs)). You always have someone here to listen.

DeputiesWife · November 2011

BeeBee08:
DeputiesWife:
I confess I wish I had the strength sometimes to say how I really feel....

For whatever it is that you can't say yet, I'm sending you ((hugs)). You always have someone here to listen.

Thank you.

reb259 · November 2011

DH and are going to Maui for Xmas. I hate that people say oh that must be nice to have no family obligations or kids and be able to do that. What I want to say is I do have family obligations but I can't find the strength to be around children or family I feel like pity us. I want to say there is nothing more I would love than to have a child so I could stand in long lines at stores, cook and bake, decorate, and deal with crowds and go to see their Xmas play. But since IF has taken that from me I go on vacation and try to play it off like it's what's I want to be going.

eponine7682 · November 2011

MoFree:
I know this is not kind hearted and a BFN is a BFN, but I have a very hard time feeling empathy for someone with 2 or more children whose IVF is not successful. I really feel like respondng, "FFS, you have 2 children and I'd love to be in that situation and I don't give a F that you WANT more." Flame away.

No flames here. I even feel differently for people who want a 2nd child. I know IF is hard no matter where you are in the road, but I would be happy for just 1 kid right now.

My confession: I am afraid we will not be able to afford having a child once all our IF treatments, along with my husband's surgery bills catch up to us. I mean, I don;t think we will need state or federal assistance or anything like that, but we already live paycheck to paycheck given all these things, and I feel like that won;t change for a while. Yet...I still want a kid. That "perfect time" may not ever come for us. Is it bad to want to bring a child into a loving, yet low income home?

jessican08 · November 2011

((BIG HUGS)) to all you ladies today.

I confess I get so angry when I think about my sister and her situation. She still leeches money off of my parents (she's 33 years old), has two kids from two diff't dads, neither of which is the guy she's currently married to (yes, I'm judging), dropped out of college twice, has NEVER held a job for more than 3-4 months and is completely financially unstable. Maybe you remember this past summer when she said she needed me to co-sign a $3k loan for her or their wedding wasn't happening...well, my mom wound up giving her the money and do you think she's paid a penny of it back yet? NOPE. Angry

DeputiesWife · November 2011

I confess that I sometimes dont like when I get so defensive when people talk crap about police officers or power/telephone companies.

I do confess that I will say something if I hear someone say to DH or about him, hey, we pay your salary because we pay taxes. Well you know what genius we pay taxes too.

abvernon · November 2011

DH and I had more sexy time and it was awesome. It feels great to break "free" from a schedule (of appointments, meds,taking shots, etc)...even if it is only temporary.

jlcrane78 · November 2011

I wanted to say "adults only" for our housewarming party tomorrow, but I was too chicken to make that rule. We don't have ANYTHING for children to play since we don't have any, and I am freaked out about having to watch them around our stuff.

Temp590840000005378 · November 2011

I confess that I know it's ridiculous but I love to read updated articles on the Kim K Kris Humphries divorce, lol!! Embarrassed I can't wait for a sit down interview with Kris Hump to dish on the divorce and I want to say now that I bet he'll show up on next seasons Dancing with the stars, ha ha!

jessican08 · November 2011

jlcrane78:
I wanted to say "adults only" for our housewarming party tomorrow, but I was too chicken to make that rule. We don't have ANYTHING for children to play since we don't have any, and I am freaked out about having to watch them around our stuff.

That's always tricky...my general rule of thumb is if you want to bring your kids, that's fine, they're welcome, but my house isn't baby/kid proof at this juncture in my life so please watch your child.

To piggy back off this, another FFC of mine is that I think it's "weird" when parents get upset if they're invited to a wedding and the event is "adults only". Most wedding invites are received well within a month of the actual event which should be enough time to find a sitter. I understand you can't always leave your child with a sitter (e.g., you have a newborn, are BF, etc.) but...unfortunately it's that couples' wedding and this is the type of event they want. I allowed kids at my wedding and it was fine. My friend (whose wedding I was just in) had a formal, evening ceremony and reception and it was adults only. Her own brother didn't go because he was upset his children weren't invited.

vanessagorc · November 2011

jessican08:

jlcrane78:
I wanted to say "adults only" for our housewarming party tomorrow, but I was too chicken to make that rule. We don't have ANYTHING for children to play since we don't have any, and I am freaked out about having to watch them around our stuff.

That's always tricky...my general rule of thumb is if you want to bring your kids, that's fine, they're welcome, but my house isn't baby/kid proof at this juncture in my life so please watch your child.

To piggy back off this, another FFC of mine is that I think it's "weird" when parents get upset if they're invited to a wedding and the event is "adults only". Most wedding invites are received well within a month of the actual event which should be enough time to find a sitter. I understand you can't always leave your child with a sitter (e.g., you have a newborn, are BF, etc.) but...unfortunately it's that couples' wedding and this is the type of event they want. I allowed kids at my wedding and it was fine. My friend (whose wedding I was just in) had a formal, evening ceremony and reception and it was adults only. Her own brother didn't go because he was upset his children weren't invited.

I confess that i didn't want kids at my wedding. DH's family complained that they had already bought plane tix for the kids. UMMMMM, i didn't send them invites...so that's ur fault.

AND I STILL didn't allow them. I got married @ the hard rock in vegas...why would u think a 4 yr old should be there. Also, i spent a ton of money on our wedding. I wanted it a certain way. A casino wedding is not romper room. I do not feel remotely bad about it

DeputiesWife · November 2011

jlcrane78:
I wanted to say "adults only" for our housewarming party tomorrow, but I was too chicken to make that rule. We don't have ANYTHING for children to play since we don't have any, and I am freaked out about having to watch them around our stuff.

One can only hope that said parents will be watching their children as well as bring things for them to do....if the party is in the evening time, I would not bring my child. If it was a newborn it is different but a toddler, I wouldnt bring. Thats just me.

DeputiesWife · November 2011

jessican08:
jlcrane78:
I wanted to say "adults only" for our housewarming party tomorrow, but I was too chicken to make that rule. We don't have ANYTHING for children to play since we don't have any, and I am freaked out about having to watch them around our stuff.

That's always tricky...my general rule of thumb is if you want to bring your kids, that's fine, they're welcome, but my house isn't baby/kid proof at this juncture in my life so please watch your child.

To piggy back off this, another FFC of mine is that I think it's "weird" when parents get upset if they're invited to a wedding and the event is "adults only". Most wedding invites are received well within a month of the actual event which should be enough time to find a sitter. I understand you can't always leave your child with a sitter (e.g., you have a newborn, are BF, etc.) but...unfortunately it's that couples' wedding and this is the type of event they want. I allowed kids at my wedding and it was fine. My friend (whose wedding I was just in) had a formal, evening ceremony and reception and it was adults only. Her own brother didn't go because he was upset his children weren't invited.

I dont think a wedding reception is a place for children...if they are in the wedding thats different. If the bride and groom have a kid friendly reception, thats also different, I've been to a couple.

I dont get people who get in a tizzy about it either.

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