- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
LGBT Parenting
professorplum
member
Reaching out
professorplum
member
I'm having a hard time lately with TTC and fighting off the depression that tests me daily so I figured it's time to work through the tears and reach out for support.
I've done several medicated IUI's, starting in January of this year. I moved on to injectables after the last BFN in August. However, I haven't been able to have and IUI yet because the first cycle was overstimmed and the next cycle I had cysts. This cycle they can't seem to get the dosage right and my levels keep fluctuating. It got to the point were the nurse left me a message yesterday about considering moving on to IVF. This is a fate I have thus far refused to accept because it feels like the end of the road and that's scary. I'm sure this process hasn't been much different for me than many of you out there but I definitely feel lonely a lot of the time. Even when I try to put it in perspective, it's been a year of my life complicated by immense stress, anxiety, crazy hormones, migraines, and dissapointments. That sounds pretty negative but I can't seem to put it any other way. I wish there was a guidebook devoted entirely to accepting BFN's and failed cycles and continuing on with TTC.
</aThis discussion has been closed.
Re: Reaching out
I am sorry. TTC and getting BFNs are miserable. There is no other way to describe it. We ended up taking several months off to re-group: financially and emotionally. While it was hard to take those months off, it also felt good to live months not in 2w chunks of time. Good luck with whatever path you choose next.
(FWIW - we did 9 cycles in 19 months.)
I completely understand. Our TTC process was the biggest nightmare of my life. We tried for close to 2 years, many IUIs, 2 IVFs, every fertility med in the book.
What helped me get through it was having something else to focus on - for us it was that we were pursuing foster parenting at the same time as TTC. But it could be any activity, sport, project, home renovation, ect. Its key to have something that gets your mind off of babybabybabybaby at least a little.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I'm so sorry this has been your experience. Our TTC process made me seriously doubt that anyone anywhere anytime can possibly get pregnant accidentally. I mean, seriously.
Sending you T&P so you can fight the depression and have the strength you need to continue your journey, whatever form it may take.
While I can't offer you a guidebook, have you considered seeing a therapist or social worker just so you have someone educated and neutral that you can discuss your stress and anxiety with? There are female therapists who specialize in women's health issues and fertility, and may have some great ideas about how to manage your disappointment and sadness, and also how to approach making the next decision (IVF, continuing with IUI, looking into fostering or adoption, etc.).
Best of luck to you. Hugs.
Sorry you are going through a tough time. I understand the reluctance to move to IVF - we went through 14 BFNs before our first IVF cycle. That said, I truly believe that for someone at the point you sound to be at emotionally, IVF is a really, really good option. Here's why: It's a big leap, but not the end of the road AT ALL. It's actually the start of a whole new ballgame - one where they monitor every minute of your cycle. If there IS a fertility problem, they will find and fix it. There are so many different IVF protocols that if one doesn't work, they can make adjustments and try something completely different the next time around. Yes, the financial investment is significant (We paid 100% OOP for every single treatment expense we racked up, so I do not take this lightly!) but if you are already paying for injectible IUI cycles, it may not actually be that much more. That is what convinced me to move to IVF. Our RE said she would recommend skipping IUIs with injectibles based upon a cost-benefit analysis. The cost increase from IUIs/Clomid (what we were doing) to IUIs/injectibles is huge but you don't see a similar increase in odds. The cost increase from IUIs/injectibles to IVF is big in one sense, but not so much when you consider it's the same as only 2-3 IUI/injectible cycles, and you get a massive bump to your odds in exchange for it. IVF was harder physically and emotionally than I expected, but my only regret is that we didn't try it sooner. For TTC#2, we went straight to IVF after our FET resulted in a chemical pregnancy. You just can't beat the odds and when someone is simply done with it all, as you sound and as I was, it's the quickest way out of the madness.
In the meantime, I hope you can find support here and in other corners of the internet. Infertility is extremely painful and isolating. I would have been lost without the friends I made online while TTC. Hang in there and good luck to you!