I am so super pissed off right now. — The Bump
2nd Trimester

I am so super pissed off right now.

So, there's this fellow unit wife that I am kind of, sort of friends with-and I want to kill her right now.

 

She has 2 kids. The boy is 5 and is autistic. The girl is turning 4 and does not speak because no one ever tried with her so she followed her brother's patterns. The unit wife shows OBVIOUS preference to the boy..she allows him to beat the living crap out of his little sister and doesn't even say a word-but if the little girl does anything at all, she gets in a huge amount of trouble. The kid punched me in the stomach 3 times and no one even said a word.

 

So, the boy's birthday was in April. He had a huge party that took months of planning and quite a bit of money. She turned it into a FB event, inviting anyone and everyone to come celebrate.

Cool, whatever.

Now, the little girl's birthday is in a week.

No FB announcement.

No party.

No gifts.

 

She claims they "can't afford it" (and she uses that term very loosely.....she always says they're broke..even if they have 4k in their account).

 

My first thought is SELL SOMETHING.

Seriously. They have a huge TV, an xbox, a crotch rocket that they JUST BOUGHT...(like seriously...3 days ago) 2 computers and a bunch of other stuff that could bring some money if posted on CL.

 

Am I overreacting? I think I would sell my wedding ring before I allowed my child's birthday to go unnoticed...especially since she just saw her big brother get a huge party.

To boot, her daddy is on a trip, so she won't even get to see him on her birthday.

 

Wtf is wrong with people. 

[IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




"A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

You know you wanna vote for Eden....

http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
«1

Re: I am so super pissed off right now.

  • I don't know about selling stuff to pay for a kids birthday party, but the rest of your post makes me want to cry for that little girl.
    image
  • imagetartaruga:
    I don't know about selling stuff to pay for a kids birthday party, but the rest of your post makes me want to cry for that little girl.

    I'm just saying, if you are too broke to even buy a damn birthday cake, its time to live without an xbox. 

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • Loading the player...
  • My heart always breaks for the ones that get stuck with crap parents. I'd ask her what her deal is.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageateal2490:

    imagetartaruga:
    I don't know about selling stuff to pay for a kids birthday party, but the rest of your post makes me want to cry for that little girl.

    I'm just saying, if you are too broke to even buy a damn birthday cake, its time to live without an xbox. 

    No argument from me on that. They sound like crappy parents to say the least.
    image
  • I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagemrs+harlow:
    My hear.pt always breaks for the ones that get stuck with crap parents. I'd ask her what her deal is.

    I'm really beginning to think she literally dislikes the little girl.

    Which is terrible since she barely ever sees her dad. 

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • That breaks my heart. I just want to go get that girl and love on her. I can't even wrap my head around that. 
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • Those poor children. Both of them.

    I would buy the girl a birthday cake and gift and take it to her on her birthday.

    Side note: I'm very curious how you know she just bought a crotch rocket three days ago. Is this something she publicized?

    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/149wknp.png[/IMG]


    After 12 cycles TTC and two losses, our baby boy is here!


    Born in the water, 04.12.12 at 1:04am. 7 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 in.

    Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mama

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt144ba9.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • People are a$$holes, poor lil' girl =0(
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic image image Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • imagefunkymonkeyohyeahhh:

    Those poor children. Both of them.

    I would buy the girl a birthday cake and gift and take it to her on her birthday.

    Side note: I'm very curious how you know she just bought a crotch rocket three days ago. Is this something she publicized?

     

    Posted on FB baby....like 10 pictures. image


    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

    WTF??? Yep... tell me where she lives I'll beat the *** out of her then take her kids and get the little boy with autism the help he needs, and give the little girl the love she deserves. Someone has to be severely fvcked up in the head to give life to these two little children and let them wilt away in heartache and misunderstanding.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Okay, a crotch rocket in my book is a sex toy. A motorcycle never occurred to me, ha. I kept thinking, "She wants them to sell a dildo on CL?"

    ETA: I just Googled "crotch rocket" and the entire first page is motorcycle related. My mind is clearly demented.

    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/149wknp.png[/IMG]


    After 12 cycles TTC and two losses, our baby boy is here!


    Born in the water, 04.12.12 at 1:04am. 7 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 in.

    Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mama

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt144ba9.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • imagejmgcoggins:
    imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

    WTF??? Yep... tell me where she lives I'll beat the *** out of her then take her kids and get the little boy with autism the help he needs, and give the little girl the love she deserves. Someone has to be severely fvcked up in the head to give life to these two little children and let them wilt away in heartache and misunderstanding.

     

    Completely agreed.

    That is the reason I've kept up a sort of friendship I don't actually want....so that little girl can know that someone gives a flying fvck about her. 

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • imagefunkymonkeyohyeahhh:

    Okay, a crotch rocket in my book is a sex toy. A motorcycle never occurred to me, ha. I kept thinking, "She wants them to sell a dildo on CL?"

    ETA: I just Googled "crotch rocket" and the entire first page is motorcycle related. My mind is clearly demented.

    Omg. BOB just got itself a new name. 

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • imagefunkymonkeyohyeahhh:

    Okay, a crotch rocket in my book is a sex toy. A motorcycle never occurred to me, ha. I kept thinking, "She wants them to sell a dildo on CL?"

    ETA: I just Googled "crotch rocket" and the entire first page is motorcycle related. My mind is clearly demented.

    Gutter mind haha!  

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • That's just horrible, this story makes me so mad, I feel sorry for this girl, especially since she's old enough to realize that her mother treats her older brother better.This mother deserves to get beat down for her behavior but since that really can't be done, why don't you ask her on FB details about the "upcoming" b'day party for this girl, Hopefully this will stir some conversation amongst her other FB friends and then she'll either A- have to say outright that there are no plans, which of course would make everyone question why, given the hoopla given for her other child, and that would embarrass her or B-force her to throw a little something for her daughter just to save face, which I'm willing to bet she'll fall under option B. If they have the money to go out and spend money on new "big kid toys", then she should be able to throw together some money to buy a cake and pizza for her kid on her b'day. I swear, parents like this disgust me!
    Pregnancy Ticker BabyFruit Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • This is soooo sad!  I don't understand these type of people.  I feel the frustration you are venting about.  I just couldn't imagine not making things fair and consistent for both of them no matter what the issues.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  •  

    I have seen other people react the same way with their kids where they favor one over the other. It makes me feel so sad for that child. And even if they didn't have the money for a big party they should at least put something together for the DD.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image image
  • That poor little girl! What a horrible home-life. :( I don't know if that situation qualifies as neglect or abuse, but I'd sure be tempted to call CPS just to ask. :(
    ---
    ♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
    TW: Living children & Losses:
    Mom of sons "Alpha" (Feb 2012) & "Beta" (May 2016)
    Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • There are some serious problems here that have nothing to do with birthday parties.  Neither kid is potty trained and the four year old is not talking.  Both kids need to be in specialized programs.  CPS should be called - I'm not saying to take the kids away - but to assist the parents with learning how to raise these kids in a healthy way.  If I were you I'd report them... yesterday.
    Succes after IF - DXN PCOS 2008 Surpise BFP 7/2009 Baby B was born 2/2010 Baby A is on her way; surprise! Due 2/2012 BabyFruit Ticker
  • Can a social worker be involved in this?  I don't think the mother is ever going to change.  The little girl needs help.
    m/c - Dec 2005, DS - March 27, 2007, m/c - Oct 2009, DD - Feb 20, 2012

    Proud mother of two breech babies:)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm lurking... Even though I can totally see why you are pissed off at the mom, a few things you wrote really stood out to me. One is, how do you know the four year old isn't talking b/c no one bothered to teach her? She honestly sounds like she could be w/in the autistic spectrum as well. For all of the pp's who said to call CPS etc, it should be known that it is NOT uncommon for children with autism to not be potty trained! Although this situation sounds very sad, there may be a great deal that you don't know about the situation. E.g. Maybe her son can tolerate a crowded bday party and her daughter can not tolerate the stimulation (assuming here she is on the spectrum.) Maybe Mom is coping with the extreme difficulty of having a child with special needs with autism by throwing her son the big bday party. I don't know her at all, but I have worked with children and families whose children are on the spectrum and I would never judge them like this unless I knew their psycho social history extensively. Doesn't a non-verbal, non-toilet trained 4 year old ring a bell to you all that maybe this little girl has special needs and isn't just suffering from poor parenting. Sorry, just had to put my two cents in and play devil's advocate on this one, some of these responses really bothered me given what you all know about the situation from the original poster.
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt11232e.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Trying to Conceive"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt112334.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/wteslw.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=natural&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_natural.gif"></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt15a64d.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • imagebalibaby:
    I'm lurking... Even though I can totally see why you are pissed off at the mom, a few things you wrote really stood out to me. One is, how do you know the four year old isn't talking b/c no one bothered to teach her? She honestly sounds like she could be w/in the autistic spectrum as well. For all of the pp's who said to call CPS etc, it should be known that it is NOT uncommon for children with autism to not be potty trained! Although this situation sounds very sad, there may be a great deal that you don't know about the situation. E.g. Maybe her son can tolerate a crowded bday party and her daughter can not tolerate the stimulation (assuming here she is on the spectrum.) Maybe Mom is coping with the extreme difficulty of having a child with special needs with autism by throwing her son the big bday party. I don't know her at all, but I have worked with children and families whose children are on the spectrum and I would never judge them like this unless I knew their psycho social history extensively. Doesn't a non-verbal, non-toilet trained 4 year old ring a bell to you all that maybe this little girl has special needs and isn't just suffering from poor parenting. Sorry, just had to put my two cents in and play devil's advocate on this one, some of these responses really bothered me given what you all know about the situation from the original poster.

     

    1. I know because I've known the little girl since she was 1.

    2. I know its not because of her being autistic because she was tested for it...and isn't, and I also know that she isn't really spoken to.

    Mommy's favorite saying?

    "You don't have a mommy."

     

    The little girl is super social, loves girly things, and is always trying to play with anyone and everyone she can. 

    I know its normal for an autistic child not to be potty trained. I also know if your non-autistic child can change their own diaper, than there is an issue.

    They spent the first 2 years I was here in their rooms. Seriously. I swear, 10 hours a day in their rooms.

    All they do is watch TV from sun up to son down.

     

    This little girl doesn't have learning issues...she isn't being taught.

     

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • So, there's this fellow unit wife that I am kind of, sort of friends with-and I want to kill her right now" It was really unclear how well you knew her and her situation based on the above comment. I'm also shocked that the children's pedi hasn't raised a million red flag if this little girl truly has no speech. Any pedi would refer to ST before the age of two for a lack of words. I also wonder how she can be so "social" with no speech. What age was she evaluated at for ASD? As for the speech any child who is developing normally would learn at least some speech from hearing others talk and all that TV you mentioned they watch, something is probably wrong with her if her language is that delayed at age four, sorry but this is not just a matter of being "taught" by her mom to speak. My dd's first word was "Elmo" from sesame street at age 11 mos... And, obviously we spoke to her all the time as well...
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt11232e.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Trying to Conceive"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt112334.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/wteslw.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=natural&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_natural.gif"></a>
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt15a64d.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • I feel sorry for this little girl.  We had a family in our unit (they have now got stationed somewhere else) they have a son who is CP but mom goes out of her way to make sure all 4 of her kids (there was only 3 when they where here she was prego w/ baby 4) that each of them felt loved.  Yes she does everything she can to make sure C gets everything he needs but the other 3 dont get less attention.
    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
  • If you're certain that she's not going to do anything at all for her birthday, then I would ask the mom if you can stop over for a visit on the girl's birthday, and bring a small cake, a balloon, and a small gift.   I would make it all in the spirit of "I just wanted to bless you,[the mom] since you mentioned that times were hard right now" and then give that girl a ton of attention. Swallow your instinct to go off on the mom, and just make it about the girl.

    I promise you, even at 4 years old, she will remember that.  You could make an impact on her that sticks with her for the rest of her life. She would at least know that someone cares.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyName Ticker Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • imagebalibaby:
    So, there's this fellow unit wife that I am kind of, sort of friends with-and I want to kill her right now" It was really unclear how well you knew her and her situation based on the above comment. I'm also shocked that the children's pedi hasn't raised a million red flag if this little girl truly has no speech. Any pedi would refer to ST before the age of two for a lack of words. I also wonder how she can be so "social" with no speech. What age was she evaluated at for ASD? As for the speech any child who is developing normally would learn at least some speech from hearing others talk and all that TV you mentioned they watch, something is probably wrong with her if her language is that delayed at age four, sorry but this is not just a matter of being "taught" by her mom to speak. My dd's first word was "Elmo" from sesame street at age 11 mos... And, obviously we spoke to her all the time as well...

    She talks in gibberish, but loves to show off her room, her clothes, go outside with us, be around people...that is how she's social. She knows ....maybe 80 words but does not speak in sentences.

    She went in for an eval about 5 months ago. Her cognitive skills were fine, she understands whatever is asked of her, but she cannot speak in sentences.  After that one eval, her mother never followed through. And in the Army, doctors don't hound you about not following up with paperwork. She's also not in school.

    If you don't want to take my word for it, fine.

    But what I see happens shapes my opinion on her current "condition" with speech. If no one takes the time to speak with you...you don't learn how to speak properly.

     

     

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
  • imageateal2490:

    1. I know because I've known the little girl since she was 1.

    2. I know its not because of her being autistic because she was tested for it...and isn't, and I also know that she isn't really spoken to.

    Mommy's favorite saying?

    "You don't have a mommy."

    The little girl is super social, loves girly things, and is always trying to play with anyone and everyone she can. 

    I know its normal for an autistic child not to be potty trained. I also know if your non-autistic child can change their own diaper, than there is an issue.

    They spent the first 2 years I was here in their rooms. Seriously. I swear, 10 hours a day in their rooms.

    All they do is watch TV from sun up to son down.

    This little girl doesn't have learning issues...she isn't being taught.

    Are these kids in school?  Certain people (Drs., teachers, daycare workers, social workers, etc.) are mandatory reports of child abuse, and trained to look for this type of stuff.  Only from what you've posted it sounds like the daughter the is "target child".  I think CPS would take this type of behavior very seriously, if reported.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
  • She tells her daughter "You don't have a mommy" ????

    Now I'm crying.

    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Newlyweds"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt1055a1.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0" /></a>

    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/2uetngj.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/9ve5at.jpg[/IMG]
  • I didn't read all of the posts but if I were you I would ask the mom if I could babysit the little girl and then if she said yes, I would have a little cake for her at my house.  

    I know it doesn't make up for what her parents have done, but it does give her some recognition of her special day.   

    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

     

    WOW! How insensitive!

    I completely agree with the original topic of not throwing a party for the younger daughter, that's just plain mean to the poor girl. But to suggest that her child's possible autism (not speaking and not toilet training at 4 with an older brother with autism is a BIG red flag that she is also autistic) is caused by mothering is completely out of line. Go learn something about autism and come back with a better attitude.  

  • imagekimandbillbike:
    imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

     

    WOW! How insensitive!

    I completely agree with the original topic of not throwing a party for the younger daughter, that's just plain mean to the poor girl. But to suggest that her child's possible autism (not speaking and not toilet training at 4 with an older brother with autism is a BIG red flag that she is also autistic) is caused by mothering is completely out of line. Go learn something about autism and come back with a better attitude.  

    She has clarified that the girl does not have autism. She said she has been tested and there is no sign of it. I am gonna say that woman is just a bad mother!

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • imagegisa886:
    imagekimandbillbike:
    imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

     

    WOW! How insensitive!

    I completely agree with the original topic of not throwing a party for the younger daughter, that's just plain mean to the poor girl. But to suggest that her child's possible autism (not speaking and not toilet training at 4 with an older brother with autism is a BIG red flag that she is also autistic) is caused by mothering is completely out of line. Go learn something about autism and come back with a better attitude.  

    She has clarified that the girl does not have autism. She said she has been tested and there is no sign of it. I am gonna say that woman is just a bad mother!

    While I understand that the mom is saying the girl in not on the spectrum, as a neighbor and a loving figure in the girls life, I would not take her word to be gold.

    Not being potty trained, having only about 80 words and speaking in jargon are HUGE red flags for autism.  I know you mentioned a few times that the girl is very social.  I have two boys, both on the spectrum.  They are both very social, however their social interactions are not appropriate for their developmental age.  Being autistic does not make a person a shut in, it often presents itself as having inappropriate social interactions.  This often times does not become obvious until the child is a little older, if they are a social being. 

    There is also some current researching being conducted that there is a much higher ratio of siblings on the spectrum than what was previously believed.  I have strong ties to my local autism community and I know many families, including mine that have several children on the spectrum.  It is looking more and more like there is a genetic link in some cases.  Which brings me to my next point... I also know many families, mine included, where one of the parents is found to be on the spectrum.  My husband has not been diagnosed, but as we have learned more and more about autism, it has become painfully obvious that a lot of his deficit areas fall within the DSM criteria for diagnosing autism.

    That being said, try not to judge that mom so harshly.  Unless you have lived the life of having several special needs children, you just cannot understand the stress that comes with it.  I love both of my children more than anything in this world, but some days I just want to give up because it is so difficult.  I barely got a birthday party scheduled for my own son this year because I was so stressed out with life and the thought of adding a birthday party just about put me over the top.  In the end, he had a wonderful, low key party that we all enjoyed.

    However, I will agree with you that more needs to be going on in that household.  Not getting BOTH of those children the help they need will only exasperate the problem.  I hope the mother is able to find a support system to get that into place and get the children the outside help they need and deserve. 

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • imageateal2490:

    imagemrs+harlow:
    My hear.pt always breaks for the ones that get stuck with crap parents. I'd ask her what her deal is.

    I'm really beginning to think she literally dislikes the little girl.

    Which is terrible since she barely ever sees her dad. 

    I don't even know how to wrap my head around that. It's not even human to dislike your own child WTF. I wouldn't be able to be around her because I'd punch her in the face. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagekimandbillbike:
    imageateal2490:
    imagejmgcoggins:

    I want to kick her ass right now. That little girl is going to be so traumatized for the rest of her life, because her mom is a worthless piece of sh!t...

    Her kids should be taken away from her.

    Agreed. Did I mention neither child is potty trained?

    I don't see how you can be ok with your mothering performances if you have a child that doesn't speak nor use the bathroom at four years old.  

     

    WOW! How insensitive!

    I completely agree with the original topic of not throwing a party for the younger daughter, that's just plain mean to the poor girl. But to suggest that her child's possible autism (not speaking and not toilet training at 4 with an older brother with autism is a BIG red flag that she is also autistic) is caused by mothering is completely out of line. Go learn something about autism and come back with a better attitude.  

    I think you need to go back and read the entire situation a little bit more closely before flying off the handle. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image526SadieSadie:

    She tells her daughter "You don't have a mommy" ????

    Now I'm crying.

    THIS!!!! Omg...I can't even begin to imagine what that little girl is going through...Please please reach out to her whenever you can, so that she knows there is someone in the world who cares about her. Honestly, I'm sobbing right now, and just want to go to wherever this child lives and take her away myself (obviously not legal, moral, etc and I wouldn't actually do it, but that's my knee-jerk reaction- to just get her out of that situation right now). I would at least call CPS, say everything you've told us, explain that you obviously don't know the entire situation and there could be mitigating factors you're unaware of, but that it doesn't seem to be a healthy situation for anyone and you're concerned and think the family needs help.

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt148e63.aspx[/img][/url]


    "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."- Helen Keller
  • I don't care about a big party, but for crying out loud get her a cake for Costco (it's like $20 for a big sheet cake) and a thing of ice cream and invite people!  That would thrill her to no end!! I don't believe kids have to have huge parties, but come on ... that just breaks my heart.

    Would mom allow you to take her for the afternoon?  Say something along the lines of "hey, I understand money is tight, but I'd hate to see her birthday go unnoticed, can I take her to McDonald's for lunch and a treat?"  Something??????

    I don't know your situation but maybe you could try and take an interest in the little girl and help her along?  Or would that just cause issue with mom?

    I didn't read any of the other responses so if someone already said all this, sorry!!!

    Our Journey to Brenden

    IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN

    IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011

    ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos

    Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
    3 babies waiting on ice


    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


  • Ok, I just read the rest of the responses.  Let me start this by saying I own a private preschool (center, not in home .... we currently have 45 children enrolled).  A 4 year old with an 80 word vocabulary that speaks mainly jibberish and isn't potty trained would raise HUGE red flags in my world.  I would definitely look into Autism as a possibility especially with an older sibling diagnosed.  However, you've stated that she has been tested and thus far is not on the spectrum. 

    A mother telling her child "you don't have a mommy" repeatedly and allowing an older child (special needs or not) to continually hit your younger child is abuse.  Abuse comes in many forms ... not always the typical black and blue marks.  In this case it's emotional abuse and probably neglect.

    At 4 years old she isn't required to be in school.  In some states a child is not required to be enrolled in school until 1st grade.  So her not having her child in school may not be a great idea, it doesn't necessarily constitute a legal issue.

    I will admit that I don't know much about the military system, so maybe these are stupid questions, however, do you live on base?  Is there someone on post you could "report" this family to that would investigate?  I'm not saying the children need to be taken away, but they family might need some services.  Is she getting any help for the older autistic child? Is he in any sort of therapy?  As another poster pointed out, ASD comes in many fashions and not every autistic child is non verbal, afraid of crowds and not socialized.  In fact, some are very verbal and love being around others.  

    In all honesty, this sounds like a pretty horrible mother, but I'm trying to give her a little bit of benefit of the doubt (although I suspect she doesn't deserve it).  I couldn't just walk away from a situation like that, but then again, I'm a mandated reporter.

    Our Journey to Brenden

    IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN

    IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011

    ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos

    Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
    3 babies waiting on ice


    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


  • imageKaliChick:

    Ok, I just read the rest of the responses.  Let me start this by saying I own a private preschool (center, not in home .... we currently have 45 children enrolled).  A 4 year old with an 80 word vocabulary that speaks mainly jibberish and isn't potty trained would raise HUGE red flags in my world.  I would definitely look into Autism as a possibility especially with an older sibling diagnosed.  However, you've stated that she has been tested and thus far is not on the spectrum. 

    A mother telling her child "you don't have a mommy" repeatedly and allowing an older child (special needs or not) to continually hit your younger child is abuse.  Abuse comes in many forms ... not always the typical black and blue marks.  In this case it's emotional abuse and probably neglect.

    At 4 years old she isn't required to be in school.  In some states a child is not required to be enrolled in school until 1st grade.  So her not having her child in school may not be a great idea, it doesn't necessarily constitute a legal issue.

    I will admit that I don't know much about the military system, so maybe these are stupid questions, however, do you live on base?  Is there someone on post you could "report" this family to that would investigate?  I'm not saying the children need to be taken away, but they family might need some services.  Is she getting any help for the older autistic child? Is he in any sort of therapy?  As another poster pointed out, ASD comes in many fashions and not every autistic child is non verbal, afraid of crowds and not socialized.  In fact, some are very verbal and love being around others.  

    In all honesty, this sounds like a pretty horrible mother, but I'm trying to give her a little bit of benefit of the doubt (although I suspect she doesn't deserve it).  I couldn't just walk away from a situation like that, but then again, I'm a mandated reporter.

     

    I completely agree that it is a type of abuse. All that I've been able to do is be involved. I take the little girl out as much as I can. Her mom has no problem with me taking her for the day...so I do. Quite a bit.

     

    The thing that cements the whole "not in spectrum" thing for me is the fact that she can learn....my husband and I stayed with this woman for a bit while her husband was gone...and we taught her at least half of those words. My husband taught her how to say "princess" and I taught her her colors and some of her abc's. We weren't there long enough to make a huge difference...but she picked it up right away. Teaching her to say "I love you" was about the cutest thing ever...I was so surprised she'd never learned it before.

    Furthermore, I'm not the 'talk about your neighbor" kind of girl.

    The main point was that I was mad that the mother opted out of doing anything for her little girl, like always.

     

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/28chc2h.jpg[/IMG]<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/AJYEm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>




    "A woman really doesn't need to be rescued. Its not the place for the knight in shining armor. Its the place for her to face her darkest moment and lay claim to her victory." -TBOBB

    You know you wanna vote for Eden....

    http://tinyurl.com/VOTE-FOR-EDEN
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards