Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

huge playground tantrum - should I just not go?

Everytime we leave the playground, my lo has the HUGEST tantrum.  Today I tried to slow things down there and said byebye about 100 times before finally trying to leave, still tons of drama, tantrum, and tears.  Would you just avoid the park all together?  It is really the only place ge gets to be with other kids and he has been so happy and social there, just leaving is a mess. . . . .

Re: huge playground tantrum - should I just not go?

  • Ugh, tantrums. What I find that helps when leaving is to give plenty of notice to DD that we are going to leave soon. I say, "soon we have to go home for dinner". Or, "just a few more minutes and we have to go home". I start about 15 minutes before we leave, making sure to say it a few times. And then I don't make a big deal about leaving. We say goodbye to any friends there, of course, but that is about it. Nothing too drawn out or dramatic. And, it does help to tell her what we are going to go do that she might look forward to...eat dinner, see Daddy at home, etc. I also tend to have water and a snack in the stroller. I hate to use food, but sometimes it makes a HUGE difference. I don't think you should stop going! It will get better! Good luck!

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  • Just keep going. He will get used to leaving, and start to understand that he can come back. Of course, it helps to give time warnings (5 minutes left, 3 minutes, etc), and reassure him that you'll come back.

    Kids have a hard time with this. Eventually he will get it.

  • Definitely don't stop going.  Use this as a learning tool.  When we leave the park or something that DS is really in to, I give advance warning (like pp's).  "Okay, we're going to go down the slide two more times....one more time", "We're going home in a minute, so lets make this last sandcastle a really fun one!" kind of a thing.  And then tell him that we're going home to see what the doggies are doing or to get a snack.  Some times are way better than others, but giving up is not an option.  Tantrums are normal.  Use each one to your advantage, to try to make the next time better. 
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  • thanks ladies, giving him my cell phone when he got in the wagon was helping for a bit, but now nothing is working.  I keep saying we have to leave soon, but I don't think it helps, he doesn't seen to grasp what that means yet.
  • imageluvmybaby28:
    thanks ladies, giving him my cell phone when he got in the wagon was helping for a bit, but now nothing is working.  I keep saying we have to leave soon, but I don't think it helps, he doesn't seen to grasp what that means yet.

     I think you're at a hard age because he has definite opinions of his own, but his language skills are still developing.  You're right that he very well may not understand the the idea of leaving in 5 minutes or whatever.  Time is hard concept for little ones.

     I would keep going, and just go through the tantrums.  The park is important for him, and he clearly likes it.  Instead of starting 15 minutes out telling him you're going to have to go "soon" (15 min is a really long time to a little guy), I would probably put it in more concrete terms for him.  Something like, "LO, we're going to do three more trips down the slide, and then we need to say goodbye so we can have lunch."  I wouldn't spend a ton of time saying goodbye.  Just make it no big deal.  Wave by for 15 seconds then be on your way.  :)

     

    Good luck!

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  • imageluvmybaby28:
    thanks ladies, giving him my cell phone when he got in the wagon was helping for a bit, but now nothing is working.  I keep saying we have to leave soon, but I don't think it helps, he doesn't seen to grasp what that means yet.

    I would say to keep going, keep doing your routine of saying good bye to everyone/thing, but don't bother with the distracting.  He has to learn it's okay to leave and not to throw a fit.  Soon enough he'll understand that you'll be able to come back the next day (or whenever).

    This is what works in my mind anyway; LO doesn't throw tantrums yet so I could change my tune in a couple months ;o)

  • My 4 year old still gets upset when it's time to leave.  When she was little, I would occasionally carry her to the car kicking and screaming.  I would always save her snack and drink for the ride home and sometimes that bribe helped.

    Try time warnings.  The little ones don't quite understand what it means if you say 10 more minutes, but say it anyway.  Or say, after we go down the slide two more times, we'll have to leave.  Depending on the mood, that helped too.

    I always think of it like this...we are at a spa for the day having a most wonderful time. It's quiet and we're drinking prosecco with our very close friends.  The spa owner says the spa is closing. I know I am devastated.  You?

  • bribe with food- "it's time to go home and have a banana!" (something he really likes- and follow thru of course)

    really play with him about 10 mins before you're leaving and keep telling him it's almost time to go, telling him you'll be sad to leave, too but that you'll come back another day

    when time is up, chase him out- "i'm gonna get you!"

    also, i always let her have control of something like opening and closing the gate to the park, for example

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  • Keep going. You can't avoid all activity. You could start a leaving routine (kind of like a bedtime routine). I usually do the swing before we leave. And then I say bye bye park as we leave. He has only had a couple tantrums leaving. 
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