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Need Christmas/grandparent advice

Bennett714Bennett714
in Stay at Home Moms
Short version- for Christmas gifts, do you give grandparents gift suggestions by the same budget amount, let them set the amount or guess what would work? Longer version- I'm having my ILs and my parents at our house for Christmas. We have never been all together for a holiday. My dad always goes HUGE for Christmas. He has already been joking about needing a truck to drop off all the gifts for his grandson. For my ILs, I know their budget is less. DS is their fifth grandchild. We have invited the other kids too, but don't know it they are coming as of now. I am concerned about my ILs feeling uncomfortable if my dad goes overboard. I know they already feel a bit left out because they live about7 hours away. I started talking to my dad about taking it easy this year and his response was to either have a separate gift opening at his home or a completely separate holiday celebration. I always do the cooking and can't be in two places at once with guests and what not. How do I respect his desire to have fun "spoiling" and also respect the other grandparents? Since this is E's first Christmas, I feel like it might not be a bad idea to set up some ground rules for future holidays. Thanks for any suggestions, ladies. Much appreciated.
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Re: Need Christmas/grandparent advice

  • Bennett714Bennett714
    Sorry about the lack of formatting and any typos. I'm bumping from my iPad and typing away as quickly I can before the end of nap!
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  • yaleyale member
    Any way he would agree to dropping off the gifts at your place before Christmas. My ILs sent a ton of gifts for DSs first Christmas. I knew it would be way too much for him/everyone on Christmas day. So we opened a gift/day for awhile leading up to Christmas. Really worked out nicely. Then, when Christmas came... the amount of Santa/grandparent/other gifts wasn't as overwhelming. If your ILs are coming closer to Christmas, then some of the gifts could already be opened and tucked away. I'd also recommend not getting anything yourself if you're expecting a ton from them. We ended up storing a bunch of gifts for that year and taking them out throughout the rest of the year. It was just too much. The ILs scaled way back last year, which was a relief.
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  • vicnikvicnik
    I think you're way over thinking this. Just let it flow. And let your dad have his fun! It's nice of you to consider your ILs, though. I'd just make a joke at Christmas while all the gifts from your dad are being opened. Something like 'Goodness dad. You'd think this was his first Christmas:)' or 'Can you tell my dad goes gaga for Christmas?'. I'd follow it by a heartfelt thank you to everyone for each gift and mention that each of them being there was the best gift of all!
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    I would suggest to your dad that y'all open the majority of what he buys in private before or after the IL's visit if possible. Or if he wants to spend all that money, tell him to start a college fund. ;)
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  • ariel06ariel06 member
    Is there anyway you could some of the presents from your dad before or after present opening with the ILs?  Otherwise maybe just let the ILs know in advance that your dad went a little overboard this year. 
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  • MAMAxBMAMAxB member
    It was really hard but I had to tell my mom (who only has E versus my MIL who has 8 grandkids and 3 on the way) that she could spend $1,000 for her on Christmas. #1. She does not NEED $1,000 worth of stuff. #2. I don't want $1,000 worth of stuff in my house lol. I found a blog that had the idea of "categories" for gifts (1 thing you want, you need, you wear, and you can read) - I told my mom she could maybe use that to get a variety of gifts and anything else she wanted to "spend" she could put in her college fund... sorry this is a ramble. 
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    evelyn 4.2010 | will 1.2012 | baby BOY due 12.2014
    pregnant and/or breastfeeding since 2009.

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  • Bennett714Bennett714
    imagevicnik:
    I think you're way over thinking this. Just let it flow. And let your dad have his fun! It's nice of you to consider your ILs, though. I'd just make a joke at Christmas while all the gifts from your dad are being opened. Something like 'Goodness dad. You'd think this was his first Christmas:)' or 'Can you tell my dad goes gaga for Christmas?'. I'd follow it by a heartfelt thank you to everyone for each gift and mention that each of them being there was the best gift of all!
    You're right I probably am over thinking. I have visons of DS "opening" his presents while his cousins look on and the present disparity becomes a problem. Thanks for the suggestions of what to say. You're right..it doesn't have to be so serious.
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  • Bennett714Bennett714
    imageyale:
    Any way he would agree to dropping off the gifts at your place before Christmas. My ILs sent a ton of gifts for DSs first Christmas. I knew it would be way too much for him/everyone on Christmas day. So we opened a gift/day for awhile leading up to Christmas. Really worked out nicely. Then, when Christmas came... the amount of Santa/grandparent/other gifts wasn't as overwhelming. If your ILs are coming closer to Christmas, then some of the gifts could already be opened and tucked away. I'd also recommend not getting anything yourself if you're expecting a ton from them. We ended up storing a bunch of gifts for that year and taking them out throughout the rest of the year. It was just too much. The ILs scaled way back last year, which was a relief.
    Good thinking of the separate gift opening. Maybe the weekend before Christmas, I will have my dad over to get some special grandpa time and we can do some presents at that time.
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