Childless not by choice

Do you ever forget look around and think WTF?!?

Ok, this is getting to me.  Pretty much every woman I know is PG right now or has been in the recent past and has an infant.  I look at these women and wonder how the hell they can just "get pregnant" whenver they want (or don't want).  Some of them are seriously morbidly obese... one has eating issues and is WAY too thin... some have drug problems... another has a bunch of medical problems, I mean this woman has more than one auto-immune disorder, a thyroid problem, arthritis and is being checked out for something else as we speak... and she has four children.

I am perfectly healthy beyond a few tiny specs of endo (stage one) and I didn't get pregnant in 4+ years of ttc.  How can a HEROINE ADDICT get knocked up if I can't?!?

Do you have any effective ways you talk yourself out of the "what the hell, why me" funk?  Because seriously, what the hell?!?

 

Re: Do you ever forget look around and think WTF?!?

  • Oh all the time! My cousin has 4 kids...all different fathers!! That is sad and pathetic. I get so p*ssed when I think about that. Why can't I get knocked up that easily? When I'm at the store and see a mother with her 3 kids I think..isn't one enough? Give me one...haaha that's mean I know.

    I have no coping strageties...sorry. My mood swings are awful. One minute I'm ok hearing my friends talk about their baby and then WHAM out of the blue I ignore them for few weeks. I seriously need to talk to a therapist. I hate to be bitter and sad all the time. DH doesn't get it so he is no help. UGH. I have one more IUI and that's it. No IVF or adoption if this one doesn't take.

    Try to have a good weekend :)  Any Halloween parties?

     

     

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



  • Everyday of my life.

    My brother now has 8 kids, my sister has 2, and I am literally the only person in my family (including first & second cousins) that does not have a kid or currently expecting. I don't understand it and don't think I ever will. The only thing that gets me through is knowing that some of them are actually jealous of me. A lot of them didn't want their kids (they love them no less) just unexpected and wrong timing. I use to get upset when they would say this to me but I am getting to a place that it is okay. I am meant to be more than a mom. 

    My grandma was so kind to me. She told me that as much as my heart desires to be a mom, you only have those babies/kids for a small moment in time. She told me about how now all of her kids are grown the grandkids are grown and she is alone with her own life.My grandma told me about how hard it was on her marriage after the kids left the house because they had been so consumed by them they had forgotten who the other person even was. 

     

    I guess I am just trying to be thankful for all I do have and think of all the things I'll never have to give up or miss out on because of children. My husband being #1. 

  • Loading the player...
  • imageBeckyP005:

    Oh all the time! My cousin has 4 kids...all different fathers!! That is sad and pathetic. I get so p*ssed when I think about that. Why can't I get knocked up that easily? When I'm at the store and see a mother with her 3 kids I think..isn't one enough? Give me one...haaha that's mean I know.

    I have no coping strageties...sorry. My mood swings are awful. One minute I'm ok hearing my friends talk about their baby and then WHAM out of the blue I ignore them for few weeks. I seriously need to talk to a therapist. I hate to be bitter and sad all the time. DH doesn't get it so he is no help. UGH. I have one more IUI and that's it. No IVF or adoption if this one doesn't take.

    Try to have a good weekend :)  Any Halloween parties?

     

     

    Becky- I totally do this too!!! I especially get annoyed about the ladies coming to other boards trying to have #3 and #4 and I have to refrain from snarky comments...

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • @Mcirish...I totally agree with you!!  Sorry I don't know how to quote you when you quote me :(

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



  • imageDKC1308:

    My grandma was so kind to me. She told me that as much as my heart desires to be a mom, you only have those babies/kids for a small moment in time. She told me about how now all of her kids are grown the grandkids are grown and she is alone with her own life.My grandma told me about how hard it was on her marriage after the kids left the house because they had been so consumed by them they had forgotten who the other person even was. 

    I guess I am just trying to be thankful for all I do have and think of all the things I'll never have to give up or miss out on because of children. My husband being #1.  

    I love your grandma! It's quite true.

    The unfortunate thing is that most people with children don't discuss these 'taboo' topics. People never want to admit that they are staying together for the kids, or that once the kids are gone they're not sure what to do or who they married. 

    There are silver linings to it, but your Grandma sounds so thoughtful and sweet.  

    (Live in Europe) TTC since 1/2010
  • imageMitzi Bishi:
    imageDKC1308:

    My grandma was so kind to me. She told me that as much as my heart desires to be a mom, you only have those babies/kids for a small moment in time. She told me about how now all of her kids are grown the grandkids are grown and she is alone with her own life.My grandma told me about how hard it was on her marriage after the kids left the house because they had been so consumed by them they had forgotten who the other person even was. 

    I guess I am just trying to be thankful for all I do have and think of all the things I'll never have to give up or miss out on because of children. My husband being #1.  

    I love your grandma! It's quite true.

    The unfortunate thing is that most people with children don't discuss these 'taboo' topics. People never want to admit that they are staying together for the kids, or that once the kids are gone they're not sure what to do or who they married. 

    There are silver linings to it, but your Grandma sounds so thoughtful and sweet.  

     

    My Grams is a fantastic southern woman. I see these things all the time with my friends who have children. The mom is usually the one who consumes herself with the children while her husband spends more time acting like a kid then helping take care of them. 

    I grow more and more grateful for my nieces and nephews. I do have family and children in my life. Trying to focus on a continued fantastic marriage and being the coolest Aunt ever!  

  • DKC--I love your grandma!

    I definitely have the WTF moment on occasion. Most of the time, I am going along with life doing fine, and then bam it will hit me. For me, it is the shock that not even DE worked for us. What are the odds? Most women don't even need DE and those that do use DE always get pregnant, right? In all my time on DE boards, I can only think of a couple of other women who didn't find success eventually. I think that the chances of DE not working has to be something like 0.00001%. How did I end up so completely on the wrong side of the stats??

    I don't know that I have any really good ways to cope. I just try to distract myself and I usually feel better in a day or two.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"