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F/U to having a hard time

DochasDochas member
in Stay at Home Moms

They're going and I'm staying!  I wish it was just overnight, but I'll take two if I must. lol  I offered to go this weekend with them and then go myself next weekend overnight to get away but my DH said "it's too late for that".  Yes, I need a break!

Everyone had great points - too many to respond to individually but I read everything twice.  My plan is to schedule 1 weekend day a month, in advance, and take it.  Not just wait until we're not doing anything.  I have one Mom friend that I might be able to start swapping babysitting with.  Since she's looking for work I can also pay her to come to my house with her son.  I've been concentrating on getting out at night but there's no reason we can't go out on a weekend day.  We've had some unexpected expenses and money is really tight right now but we have to make this a priority.  Our relationship depends on it.

Thank you all so much.  As always - it's nice to know people feel the same way sometimes.  And I wish I could come and give some of you a break!!!
TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: F/U to having a hard time

  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    DH and I seldom go on dates at night.  We almost always get a sitter from 3-8pm on a weekend.  We go do something fun, like a hike or a festival, then have a nice early dinner, come home to the kids ready for bed, then watch a movie together.  It gives me a break from the children and DH still gets to see them for a lot of the day.  As a bonus, we miss the witching hours of 5-7pm and I don't have to make them dinner.  Also, they get to spend time with their sitters, who they love, instead of having to go to bed as soon as they get there.  We have a couple of sitters DD adores and we trust to take them to the park or to the local Land Trust and out to dinner (walking).
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  • DochasDochas member
    That's great.  We would love to go bowling. lol.  Funny the things you miss.  We don't know anyone personally who babysits so that's why he's not comfortable.  I don't love the idea either, but I know we have to do something.  If we get a sitter at night she would not even have to see him and my friend uses someone she loves and trusts.  But another friend is a single Mom and asked recently if I'd be able to watch hers sometimes when she works.  And I think it would be great to swap.  But now if we can free up some money I could also just pay her instead of waiting.  It would still be a win win because she can bring her son and mine would get to stay home.  They're getting close to an age where they will play together.  Right now they very politely play near each other. :)
    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • laney75laney75
    I'm glad you are going!  And I'm glad you have a plan for future breaks.  I think that is really smart.  Enjoy yourself! 
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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member

    imageDochas:
    That's great.  We would love to go bowling. lol.  Funny the things you miss.  We don't know anyone personally who babysits so that's why he's not comfortable.  I don't love the idea either, but I know we have to do something.  If we get a sitter at night she would not even have to see him and my friend uses someone she loves and trusts.  But another friend is a single Mom and asked recently if I'd be able to watch hers sometimes when she works.  And I think it would be great to swap.  But now if we can free up some money I could also just pay her instead of waiting.  It would still be a win win because she can bring her son and mine would get to stay home.  They're getting close to an age where they will play together.  Right now they very politely play near each other. :)

    You have to cultivate babysitters.  My first regular one was a girl who lived down the street.  I met her parents while the dad was working on a house nearby.  He was nice and would come see the kids when he had a break.  I got to know him, then his DD.  She was fantastic and I knew her parents were right down the street and that she knew many of my neighbors, if she needed any help.  The second regular one we use was DD's preschool teacher.  He is wonderful and certified in childcare, as it is his full time job.  The third, I picked up while she was working at my local Starbucks.  She had graduated from college and was in nursing school. paying her own way.  Starbucks does background checks, so I knew she wasn't a criminal and nursing school is handy for child development, commitment, and an interest in being nurturing, which she is.  I took a chance on her, and she is wonderful too.  It just takes a little work to get to know them.  We start new sitters with a couple of hours when we are going to be close by and see how they do and how the kids do. 

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