hitting/biting at day care- long — The Bump
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hitting/biting at day care- long

My DS has gotten in trouble the past two weeks for hitting once and biting twice at daycare. They use time out at day care when they catch them doing it, which the teacher has each time. And then they tell us when we pick him up. Each time we have discussed with him about how it hurts and makes his friends and us sad when he does those things. We have also started (just yesterday) using a reward chart where he can get stickers when he is good and then if he has all stickers at the end of the week he gets a prize. He didnt get one yesterday because he threw tantrums all night. He wont get one today because he bite two different children at school. I dont know how to best handle this. Its hard to know how to punish him when I dont see him till way after he did it. I know the teachers think I have a horrible bully child (and probably that we arent good parents) but he really is a sweet child and I have never seen him bite another child (not at church and not playing with his cousins), he only does it at day care though he has bitten me a couple times of the last month.

 Sorry this is so long but I am at my witts end and I do not know how to handle it any more. Do you think asking the day care to call me when he does it so that I can go over there would help?

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Re: hitting/biting at day care- long

  • I feel like it would be best to first know why it is happening. Have they been able to determine a cause, like does the biting/hitting only happen during a certain kind of play time, or with certain other kids? I know it kind of defeats the purpose of daycare but would you be able to sit in for a while one day and try to determine what could be causing him to bite/hit?

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  • Ben is a reformed biter.  haha

    He did it badly at his old school.  It would always start happening when he was the oldest in his class because he was bored and he could be a bully to the little ones.  He never did it at home and never did it to his friends. 

    I see your LOs age though and I will tell you that very recently Ben was biting ME and would then say he was just playing.  Finally I asked him if he likes when he gets hurt.  Of course he said no.  So then I told him biting HURTS.  He hasn't bitten since then.  I don't know if directly relating it to him hurting but not as part of a punishment did the trick or what but it had an impact.

     Also, check your PM in about 3 minutes.

    My sweet boy :)
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  • I know exactly how you feel. I have been called several times for AT throughout the last few years and its been since he started the 2yr old class. Something about having to learn how to use words instead of hurting....but now he uses too many words and we are working on back talking.

    Sorry to say this is the first prob youll have......their behavor changes so much at this age and they feed off all the other kids all the time. I feel awful too when they call me but also ask the question about other kids provoking him. Its happens more than we realize, and youll find out that you arent the only parents theyve had to talk to about the behavior. Sigh......GL!

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  • Angelpack- you have pm back!
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  • imagekatiesept24:
    Angelpack- you have pm back!

    haha, so I responded one more time! 

    If you would rather email me anytime you can nestie.angelpack @ gmail .com

    My sweet boy :)
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