How do I choose?

TheFutureMrs.O · November 2011

Hey girls. I went to my 1st appt yesterday for a scan. And it's not good. I had an empty black hole with basically nothing in it measuring 5 weeks and 2 days. Which basically isn't possible bc I know when I OV'd and got a + on my test. So it stopped growing or something. I go back on tomorrow for more blood work for quantitative levels to see if my levels are going up, down or staying the same from today's blood. For some reason my body is being stupid and holding on - not letting it go...

Dr was not too optimistic and neither am I. She told me to start thinking of what I would want to do. So... I have 3 choices: 1. Wait for me to miscarry naturally but I won't know when - could be today could be 3 weeks. 2. I can take a pill and it will make me miscarry and I will have heavy bleeding and cramps for a few hours and will have to take a day off work on Friday and go back weekly for appts to make sure levels are going down and everything was let go. 3. Or I can have a D&C done where they go in and remove it.

I am leaning towards 1 or 2. I am unsure what to do. Any insight?

maxsom · November 2011

My experience is very similar to yours. Had our first prenatal at 6w2d and sac was only 5w, so baby stopped growing. I chose to wait it out the day they confirmed it because I didn't want the expense of a D&C and wanted to give my body a chance before deciding to take the medication. That was on a Tuesday/Weds. By Friday nothing had happened, so I called about getting the medication. Before they called me back, I began spotting, so they held off on intervening since my body had finally gotten with it and realized the pregnancy was over.

The waiting was excrutiating. I spotted off and on for five days before I started really cramping and bleeding. That lasted 14 hours before I passed the sac. My experience wasn't as bad as others. I was able to take Advil to curb the pain enough that I could at least relax and not be doubled over in pain. Once I passed the sac, my bleeding reduced to spotting which lasted another week.

Even w/ the natural m/c I got an u/s to check for retained tissue and am having my levels monitored.

All you can do is what's best for you, but I'm glad I gave my body the chance to do it naturally with no intervention.

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're forced to face this difficult decision. *hugs*

ETA: Even with a natural m/c, chances are you're going to need to take time off work unless it happens over a weekend. I took a day and a half, having worked through the spotting until it picked up and got heavier and I had a feeling the m/c was going to happen soon. You don't want to be in that pain or pass the sac while at work or anywhere but home.

Brie2010 · November 2011

I am so sorry about your loss.

I was in your shoes last week and opted to wait and have it occur naturally. It began naturally but I ended up having to be admitted to the hospital for excessive blood loss and have a D&C anyway. (The full story is in my blog--it's graphic, just a warning.)

For me, there was a lot of peace and a sense of closure knowing my body began the process on its own. It helps me know my body recognized this baby was not viable. However, I am glad I opted for the D&C eventually because after a week, I just could not prolong the process anymore for my own mental health.

Big hugs to you. There is no right or wrong decision here; just what is best for you.

GHBEA · November 2011

I had a Blighted Ovum, egg was fertilized, implanted but baby did not form. My body still took it that I was pregnant.

I opted to go naturally because I am a SAHM, if I was working and knew it could take as long as mine did I would have opted for the D&C. Only because I don't think my work would have liked me call out every time I thought today was the day. I was bleeding for 5 days before it actually passed but no cramping until the day it happned

My natural m/c happened and I had no cramping to tell me that was the morning/ time it was going to happen it just did.

We are all different and it is a hard decision to have to make when you are so emotional about the loss.

HUGS for you.

ToiKenne · November 2011

I am sorry you're having to go through this. I had a similar experience and opted for the Cytotec (pills). My concern with waiting for it to happen naturally was that I didn't know when it would start and I didn't know how long the bleeding would last. Taking the Cytotec allowed me a lot more control over the miscarriage but actually taking those pills was NOT easy to do, emotionally. My doctor also cautioned that with waiting for it to happen naturally, you can have complications or an increased risk for infection (what kind of infection, I don't know). I left the option for a D&C as a last result in case the pills were ineffective but after two doses, they did work for me.

Hopefully my experience gives you some insight. T&P as you're faced with making this difficult decision.

FreyaWin2382 · November 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I, and many others like you, were given the same three choices....which sucks.

You have to do what is right for you. For me, I couldn't stand the thought of waiting weeks for it to occur on its own, or (with the Cytotec, the medication route) think about it happening at home....so I chose the D&C.

I can tell you that physically the D&C was pretty painless, as I was placed under sedation. I had some minor cramping and some spotting for about two weeks after it, but not much.

I don't think there is a wrong choice you can make, you have to do what feels best for you.

hopefulreturn · November 2011

I'm sorry for your loss, and for the decision you have to make.

My original decision was to miscarry naturally. I had started bleeding which prompted my appointment/ultrasound. We found out the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, which means my body held onto it for almost 6 weeks! After a day of waiting around and feeling down, I decided to schedule to d&c so that I had an end in sight. They could not get me in until Friday. I knew as cramps intensified yesterday that my body was going to do this on its own. So I miscarried naturally last night. It was much more painful than I thought it would be, but it really helped me emotionally to know my body was doing what it had to do. I just had my follow up ultrasound to be sure I passed everything, and I now cancelled Friday's d&c.

No choice is the right one for every one, so talk with your Dr. about your options and do what makes you the most comfortable. Good luck with the road ahead. I can tell you that, at least for me, there has been relief in the physical part of this ordeal ending.

VineyardMel · November 2011

I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. I wanted to wait for it to happen naturally, but after 10 days I just had mild spotting and cramping so I opted for the meds. I took them on a Friday and that helped with time off work as we had the weekend.

For me the meds were quite fast (5 hours) but very painful. They offered me pain meds but they make me very sick so I just used the super motrin. The intense pain lasted for 1.5-2 hours and then it was completely gone as soon as I passed the sac. I don't regret my choice at all, just want you to be prepared that it might be painful and you will definitely need someone there with you.

T&P as you have to make this awful decision. No one should ever have to. ((hugs))

LivingItUpInUP · November 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. My situation sounds pretty similar to yours. I went in for my dating ultrasound at 8 weeks 2 days and discovered the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks 3 days. I was not given the options of pills, they told me they only offer that for ectopic pregnancies, so I only had the choice of natural or a d&c. I wanted to do natural, but I was concerned about how long it would take. I ended up miscarrying naturally at 9 weeks 3 days, so exactly 4 weeks after they think the pregnancy ended. I was fortunate (if you want to call it that) to miscarry on a Friday night/early Saturday morning. I posted my story on Sunday and I believe it's on the second page of this message board. If I had the option of pills I would have taken it because you can control when it will happen and you don't have to wait. T&P are with you as you make this difficult decision. (((Hugs)))

RedRose84 · November 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry you have to go through this. :[ I opted for the D&C because I couldn't stand the thought of having to wait it out. The baby had already passed 3 weeks before I found out and I was so devastated, I just wanted to get the physical part over. The doctor recommended the D&C because of how far along I was. He said if you are before 6 weeks, he recommends natural because there can be complications with the surgery. Like the other ladies have said, it is your choice and you need to do what is right for you. **Hugs**

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