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someone talk me off the ledge!

mama livingstonmama livingston member
in C-sections
so a friend of mine had a baby girl this morning, and another friend we share was chatting with me on facebook. This friend I was chatting with was talking about maybe visiting our friend, but said that our friend might be too exhausted from pushing and what not. I then said, I bet she was exhausted. Then my friend Marie said, "well, you're lucky because you had a c-section so you don't know what it feels like." I wanted to just cry!!! I had my abdomen sliced open, I couldn't get up to take care of my daughter for weeks...I just felt so hurt....and needed to vent. sorry ladies!
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Re: someone talk me off the ledge!

  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member

    I'm sorry. People are stupid. C-sections hurt a LOT even in the best circumstances. I still remember I was holding Rosemary and I had to cough and I panicked because I couldn't cough and hold the baby at the same time because I had to press something into my abdomen and I sure couldn't use the baby! It was terrible!

    Having a baby is really hard work no matter how you do it!

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  • lilylowlilylow member

    People can be mean.

    I remember in the hospital feeling awful because I had to have people hand me the baby because I didn't have the strength to pick her up myself.  I couldn't walk with her and changing her was 7 levels of hell with the movement.  

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  • Kissimi21Kissimi21 member

    imagemama livingston:
    so a friend of mine had a baby girl this morning, and another friend we share was chatting with me on facebook. This friend I was chatting with was talking about maybe visiting our friend, but said that our friend might be too exhausted from pushing and what not. I then said, I bet she was exhausted. Then my friend Marie said, "well, you're lucky because you had a c-section so you don't know what it feels like." I wanted to just cry!!! I had my abdomen sliced open, I couldn't get up to take care of my daughter for weeks...I just felt so hurt....and needed to vent. sorry ladies!

    I would have been p*ssed and said something like, "Ya, I'd have loved to have my baby the easy way too, but I had to suffer through weeks of healing after major surgery."  It drives me crazy when people don't realize that a c-section is not an "easy" birth.

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  • jkchs2003jkchs2003
    That would have really upset me too on two levels. I would have been insulted and hurt.
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  • reg224reg224 member
    I would have been angry too. A c-section is just as much hard work as a regular birth (sometimes I felt like it might even be worse). Recovery time is so much longer and you have to be on pain meds for awhile so you are either in pain or feeling drugged up. People are cruel. Ugh. So sorry you had to deal with that.
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  • mama livingstonmama livingston member
    thank you ladies!!! Today has been a hard day. With the birth of my friend's baby I feel like I've gotten slammed by so many people for my c-section. I am so so happy that my sweet baby girl is here and healthy! but I am so tired of no one respecting the c-section and everything I had to go through too. I don't feel like I took the easy way out at all, and today, everyone has made me feel thay way, even DH. I have struggled since we got home with the fact that I had a c/s, and I think I'm also having PPD issues...and it's just all so overwhelming and just too much. All I want to do is cry. We are all mothers no matter how our babies got here, that's the bottom line. We all wake up in the middle of the night, we all bathe our babies, we all take care of them and make sure they're healthy and safe...I am no less of a mother because I had a c/s....
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  • manbearpig31610manbearpig31610
    imagemama livingston:
    thank you ladies!!! Today has been a hard day. With the birth of my friend's baby I feel like I've gotten slammed by so many people for my c-section. I am so so happy that my sweet baby girl is here and healthy! but I am so tired of no one respecting the c-section and everything I had to go through too. I don't feel like I took the easy way out at all, and today, everyone has made me feel thay way, even DH. I have struggled since we got home with the fact that I had a c/s, and I think I'm also having PPD issues...and it's just all so overwhelming and just too much. All I want to do is cry. We are all mothers no matter how our babies got here, that's the bottom line. We all wake up in the middle of the night, we all bathe our babies, we all take care of them and make sure they're healthy and safe...I am no less of a mother because I had a c/s....
    I think I had some PPD issues because of my c/s. I felt like a failure because my induction failed and I ended up with the c/s. No matter how much DH told me I was a rockstar for carrying and giving birth to this perfect and healthy baby I just felt like everyone around me (including him) was looking at me and thinking I was somehow defective because I hadn't given birth vaginally. I now know this was not the case at all but for a couple months following DD's birth no one could have convinced me otherwise. What your friend said was really not cool but I am sure most people do not think you took the easy way out or anything of the sort. You did an amazing job getting your LO here safely and healthy. Just remember that. If you're having negative feelings maybe you should talk to someone. My DH was a life saver and made me feel so much better when I finally opened up to him. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him talk to a friend, a family memeber, your dr...just someone. You have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed! You rock, Mama!
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  • manbearpig31610manbearpig31610
    imagemama livingston:
    thank you ladies!!! Today has been a hard day. With the birth of my friend's baby I feel like I've gotten slammed by so many people for my c-section. I am so so happy that my sweet baby girl is here and healthy! but I am so tired of no one respecting the c-section and everything I had to go through too. I don't feel like I took the easy way out at all, and today, everyone has made me feel thay way, even DH. I have struggled since we got home with the fact that I had a c/s, and I think I'm also having PPD issues...and it's just all so overwhelming and just too much. All I want to do is cry. We are all mothers no matter how our babies got here, that's the bottom line. We all wake up in the middle of the night, we all bathe our babies, we all take care of them and make sure they're healthy and safe...I am no less of a mother because I had a c/s....
    I think I had some PPD issues because of my c/s. I felt like a failure because my induction failed and I ended up with the c/s. No matter how much DH told me I was a rockstar for carrying and giving birth to this perfect and healthy baby I just felt like everyone around me (including him) was looking at me and thinking I was somehow defective because I hadn't given birth vaginally. I now know this was not the case at all but for a couple months following DD's birth no one could have convinced me otherwise. What your friend said was really not cool but I am sure most people do not think you took the easy way out or anything of the sort. You did an amazing job getting your LO here safely and healthy. Just remember that. If you're having negative feelings maybe you should talk to someone. My DH was a life saver and made me feel so much better when I finally opened up to him. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him talk to a friend, a family memeber, your dr...just someone. You have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed! You rock, Mama!
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  • shibby00shibby00 member
    I'm going to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and say that she just didn't think before she spoke.  It happens.  I had PPD after my c/s and like PP I felt defective because not only could I not deliver my DD the way nature intended but I wasn't able to successfully bf, either.  If you do think you are having some PPD talk to your OB and get a reference for a therapist.  You don't have to feel this way, and it DOES get better.  I was completely overwhelmed by life and when I got some help things got SO much better.  You ARE a mother and you DID give birth to you LO and it DID hurt.  There is no 'easy' way to get a baby into the world.  Anyone who has ever given birth knows that.
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  • lbrown567lbrown567

    I have 2 thoughts....

    1.  Your friend really should think before she talks. I had a c-section after probably 16 hours of labor including 3 hours of pushing. Even if it had been a planned c-section it was NOT easy or enjoyable! I was so sick afterwards from all the medicine they injected in me and the pain of the actual surgery was way more than I had expected. That's a terrible thing to say to someone!

    2.  I realize this wasn't the purpose of this post but I'm really comforted to see that other people felt like they failed too with a c-section. 14 months later I am starting to finally see that the most important thing was that my daughter was here safe and sound. For months after having her I felt like I had failed her....like I couldn't do what was natural and normal.  It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who felt this way. It was hours before I could hold her without being scared I would drop her (or vomit on her from the medicine!).  There isn't just a physical healing that comes with a c-section...it's emotional/mental, too!

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  • Kimmy9jKimmy9j member
    imagelbrown567:

    I have 2 thoughts....

    1.  Your friend really should think before she talks. I had a c-section after probably 16 hours of labor including 3 hours of pushing. Even if it had been a planned c-section it was NOT easy or enjoyable! I was so sick afterwards from all the medicine they injected in me and the pain of the actual surgery was way more than I had expected. That's a terrible thing to say to someone!

    2.  I realize this wasn't the purpose of this post but I'm really comforted to see that other people felt like they failed too with a c-section. 14 months later I am starting to finally see that the most important thing was that my daughter was here safe and sound. For months after having her I felt like I had failed her....like I couldn't do what was natural and normal.  It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who felt this way. It was hours before I could hold her without being scared I would drop her (or vomit on her from the medicine!).  There isn't just a physical healing that comes with a c-section...it's emotional/mental, too!

     

    THIS!!!  I put off a C section as long as I could starting at 18 weeks really and still ended up in the OR after 30 hours of labor, felt robbed.  This post really put a lot in perspective for me too. 

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