10 Things Not to Say to Your Childfree Friends

kebs21 · November 2011

This article was posted on Yahoo news today. It was comforting and made me smile.

https://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-childfree-friends-2595394/

adoxyinherear · November 2011

Oh, I really like this. I also have a friend who has no intention of ever having children, and some of the questions people ask seem very indelicate to her, as well! Thank you for sharing.

Karen_Gee · November 2011

I like that a lot. When I was younger I did not want children and sometimes people would say things that made me want to scream. Obviously, I did eventually change my mind and my pregnancy was 100% planned and wanted, but what was really awful was when my m/c there were people who actually asked me if the pregnancy was an "accident" since they knew that years ago I didn't want children.

I think people should be more careful of what they say, especially since in some cases, these couples may not be childfree by choice, despite how they try to make it sound.

adoxyinherear · November 2011

Pregnancy just seems like it's everybody's business, I guess because everybody can see it and there's whole lots of drama when it comes to the public female body. But yeah. Less rude people in the world would be awesome... or at least people who think before they talk!

VineyardMel · November 2011

Yep this is really good. Being older almost all of my friends have kids and it's been interesting how easy it is with some of them and harder with others.

The one I'd add is "You just can't understand real love until you're a parent." Ugh. I actually believe that it's true that parenthood is a different kind of love, but um, you just rubbed my nose in the fact that I don't know "real love." Thanks.

adoxyinherear · November 2011

VineyardMel:

The one I'd add is "You just can't understand real love until you're a parent." Ugh. I actually believe that it's true that parenthood is a different kind of love, but um, you just rubbed my nose in the fact that I don't know "real love." Thanks.

Yes! I feel this way about romantic love, too. I love my DH, but I've got a few very close friends in my life that I love just as much in different ways. Frankly, this emotion has far more scope than most people give it!

amandacol28 · November 2011

I don't think people really stop and think about what other people are feeling or going through before they speak.

I have a boss that is all about her higher education and being the boss, and she has no interest in having children. She thinks just because she doesn't want kids, all working women shouldn't either. The whole thought process is very ignorant of her.

That is a great article for both sides because until we are actually in that person's shoes, we have no idea what they have or are going through.

Thanks for sharing.

Babe2C · November 2011

thank you so much for posting this really hit home!

my favorite (well the one that bothers me the most) is when DH and I aren't invited to things bc we don't have children. "only invited parents!" THANKS

JeffNessa810 · November 2011

I had the "when are you two having kids?" at work the other day- the day after I m/c. I was already at the brink of tears the whole day and almost broke down right there... I had to run to the bathroom and call my husband who had to remind me that they didn't know what I was going through... to which I replied "Exactly..."

LoveOfMikesLife · November 2011

I was having a particularly hard te the other day and someone said to me, " must be nice to get to sleep in!"

My response, "Must be nice to have a child that's alive!" I know it was bitter and childish, but d@mn it felt good to shut that person up.

ktsnshn · November 2011

A friend of mine posted this on FB yesterday. I agree with the PP that people need to stop and think about what they say to others.

mijakach · November 2011

I love this list. And the emphasis would definitely have to be on number 1. I don't understand how what's going on in a women's reproductive system is other people's business.

VineyardMel:

Yep this is really good. Being older almost all of my friends have kids and it's been interesting how easy it is with some of them and harder with others.

The one I'd add is "You just can't understand real love until you're a parent." Ugh. I actually believe that it's true that parenthood is a different kind of love, but um, you just rubbed my nose in the fact that I don't know "real love." Thanks.

Uggh, I hate that! I had a friend do this to me the other day. I don't remember what the conversation was about, but I said something about loving my dog. Then he had to go on and on about how loving my dog is nowhere near the love you have for a child that you made. "Once that child is born, and you get to look into those eyes"...blah, blah. Like thanks for rubbing it in my face.

bribri81404 · November 2011

I just read this and it is so true! I don't think I would ever tell someone these things! As many times as I have been asked when we are having another baby, I have never asked anyone that question! You never know what someone is going through! Great article!

kbhaynes · November 2011

This was great. I shared it on Facebook, lol. Hopefully some of my friends will get the hint

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