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January 2012 Moms
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My mom is on my last nerve!! Re: Naming the baby...

Makinroom4babyMakinroom4baby
in January 2012 Moms

I have had the most difficult time with naming this baby, mainly b/c of other peoples opinions (MOM!!!) and the fact that I don't want my son with a very common name. I'd come up with a name and my husband would agree to it at first and then decide a few weeks later that he doesn't like it. I think we were able to decide on Jayden's name so easily b/c we only had 8 weeks to prepare for him and even then we didn't know if he was ours until he was in our arms. We've been truing to decide on this baby's name for 9 weeks now and still have about 10 more weeks left.

 I'd narrowed the names down to 3 and decided I would name the baby after he's born. After I get a good look at him and spend some time with him in the hospital. Obviously I have a favorite and it's at the top of my list of 3. My mom decided that she doesn't like the name b/c she knows someone whose name SOUNDS like what I want to name my son!! How silly is that?!?! So instead of supporting my name choices (I nixed our whole middle name choice to use a name she suggested just so she could have a part in the naming process!) she is hounding me daily with names I do not like. We have totally different preferences for names. Last night she must have searched the internet all night long and sent me 20 (yes TWENTY!!) text messages with name suggestions.

There was only one name that I would even consider and it was already one of the 3 (but I guess she forgot that) so when I told her it's on the list she said "Please please name him that!!" and now it's constant text messages with that particular name and it's getting on my last nerve.

I told her to please stop pressuring me about the name and then she starts the guilt trip "Well I hope I get to name someone's child before I die. I didn't even get to name my own children..." Well, I love you but that's not my problem!!! You cannot guilt trip me into allowing you to name MY CHILD something I don't care for just to make YOU happy. That's not fair to my or my DH. Just a few minutes ago she text me saying how this baby is a blessing and she just feels a stronger connection bc she spent years wondering if it was her fault that I couldn't conceive. I totally get that, which is why I've let her be so involved in the first place and why I decided to let her choose the middle name. C'mon!!! Stop being so selfish and realize that I have allowed you some say in what I name my baby so now back off!!! UGH!!! 

Nia, Mom to Jayden Michael, Born 12/04/06, Adopted 12/07/06
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And Elias Parker, Born 3.5 weeks early 12/20/2011 image
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Re: My mom is on my last nerve!! Re: Naming the baby...

  • Makinroom4babyMakinroom4baby

    And now she's texting me saying "Don't worry about me. You don't have to try and satisy me b/c I'm already satisfied. I prayed for this baby for so long, so I'm satisfied. This is your time and you need to have all the joy!"

    I'm pretty sure she's patronizing me at this point...

    Nia, Mom to Jayden Michael, Born 12/04/06, Adopted 12/07/06
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    And Elias Parker, Born 3.5 weeks early 12/20/2011 image
    FINALLY!!! After 7 years of infertility! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kes487kes487

    Moms...sometimes they don't know when to be grandparents to their grandchildren, bc they're too busy trying to be a second mom...

    Ultimately, this is YOUR precious little baby, name YOUR baby whatever YOU and your DH decide on. You've been trying to conceive and this is a very exciting time for you, I'm sure.  If she doesn't agree on the name, she'll still love her grandbaby anyway, right? RIGHT. She'll get over it.  Just like she said that she didn't get to name any of her children, she should understand why you want to name yours.

    Involve her, but don't let her control. You're the mommy-to-be. Don't let anyone steal your little joys of motherhood! *hugs* 

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  • kes487kes487
    BTW, maybe next time she texts or calls you about baby names, just tell her you've already decided and you don't want to discuss it any further. Tell her she needs to respect your decision. She'll probably be a little mad, but she'll get over it when she sees his little face. :)
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  • JessireeJessiree

    imagekes487:
    BTW, maybe next time she texts or calls you about baby names, just tell her you've already decided and you don't want to discuss it any further. Tell her she needs to respect your decision. She'll probably be a little mad, but she'll get over it when she sees his little face. :)

    This sounds like a good plan to me. I'm sorry you are dealing with this - all that would drive me crazy!!

    After TTC with IR PCOS:
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  • BFab11BFab11 member
    Wow.  I'd just say "Mom, I'm done discussing names with you.  We aren't talking about t anymore, ok?"  And leave it at that.  If she brings it up, change the subject.  If she keeps bringing it up, end the conversation.  She is WAY overstepping her bounds here.
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  • theladyjesstheladyjess member
    imageMakinroom4baby:

    I told her to please stop pressuring me about the name and then she starts the guilt trip "Well I hope I get to name someone's child before I die. I didn't even get to name my own children..." Well, I love you but that's not my problem!!!

    She let someone bully her into the names they wanted for *her* children and now she's trying to do the same to you.  Maybe she'd back off it you pointed that out to her.

    My sister keeps trying to come up with nicknames for LO and I keep telling her no.  She keeps trying to call LO "Kem" (her initals) or most recently "KJ".  Each time I tell her, "You can call her Kjersten or Baby Sissy."  I thought my sister would be more sensitive to the whole nickname thing considering she hated it when people called her "Mac" (her name is McKenzie).  Family can be so frustrating!

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  • kmchavez82kmchavez82 member

    I completely understand your frustration, I've learned to not say anything to anyone anymore about the name. It's just annoying to get a weird look or instead of a compliment they offer up their own suggestion. You'd think women who have had kids would know better and back off but they are the FIRST ones with the suggestions. I give up. DH and I agreed to not say a word until the birth certificate is out (honestly we haven't picked, just have a few favorites).  Until then the name remains "ladybug" which we dubbed her once I found out I was pregnant. Good luck! I know moms can be hard at this point. I think mine is just scared of me atm so she's playing nice... for now! ha!

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  • Makinroom4babyMakinroom4baby
    Thank you so much, ladies, for the support. She must have caught on to my frustrations at some point b/c she did back off. I want to involve her b/c I know she's excited but she has to learn not to overstep her boundaries. No you CANNOT name our child. Offering suggestions is ok with me but don't force any names on me and tell me you don't like names I love b/c it "sounds" like a name you hate!
    Nia, Mom to Jayden Michael, Born 12/04/06, Adopted 12/07/06
    image
    And Elias Parker, Born 3.5 weeks early 12/20/2011 image
    FINALLY!!! After 7 years of infertility! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
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