Does your SO come with you to appts?

NicholeeK · November 2011

Poking around here and on 1st tri, I've noticed a lot of SOs going to various appts and I was wondering if it's the norm.

DH will probably go to the 18-20 week scan, but that's it. That's what we did with our first as well. Maybe it's because there aren't u/s in the doctor's offices here so not much really goes on at the regular appts?

Jessibel1 · November 2011

I would like for DH to only come to the major appts. with me.

Daisy22 · November 2011

He went to a few regular appts besides u/s with our first until 24wks when I had PTL/put on bedrest. Then he or my mom had to take me to my appts. He went to the high risk doc appts and mom took me to my regular appts. With DS2, he came to the first time and all the u/s but that's it. He'll come to the first one next week and all u/s but probably nothing else.

lavenderflow · November 2011

My DH goes with me to all my appts. These will be our first and he wants to make sure he is as involved as he can be. We also have an u/s at every appt since we are expecting twins. He won't openly admit it but he gets just as excited seeing and hearing the heartbeats as I do.

chouli77 · November 2011

My DH is coming to my u/s tomorrow, and the NT scan, and the 18/20 wk scan. I'm not sure after that. Probably not to the cervix checks and appts like that.

venussapphire · November 2011

Yes my DH is coming to the appointments. Especially important is the first one because its our first baby and also we are using a midwife so i want him to be familiar with her and ask questions. Right now he is able to be flexible so it isnt a problem. he's in school for 10weeks Jan-March so it might get tricky then.

bananers · November 2011

Our first appointment isn't until next Monday, but I think I would like him to come to all appointments with me. If, God forbid, we found out something wrong or even just concerning, I would want him there. Also, since we're first time parents, I think it would be beneficial for him to hear everything straight from the doctor, and to give him a chance to ask his own questions too.

Thankfully, DH has a flexible schedule and can almost always make it work. I might feel differently if he had to take a lot of time off to come.

dogsfornow · November 2011

DH came with me yesterday because we knew there would be a u/s. I see no reason he would come if we weren't getting pictures though.

HeyThereGoodLookin · November 2011

bananers:
Our first appointment isn't until next Monday, but I think I would like him to come to all appointments with me. If, God forbid, we found out something wrong or even just concerning, I would want him there. Also, since we're first time parents, I think it would be beneficial for him to hear everything straight from the doctor, and to give him a chance to ask his own questions too.
Thankfully, DH has a flexible schedule and can almost always make it work. I might feel differently if he had to take a lot of time off to come.

All of this.

pinotgirl · November 2011

He's been to every one with me so far. I don't expect him to come but he always says he wants to be there. I'm thinking once my appointments are more often and there's no more ultrasounds he won't come with, but who knows.

AuroraMarieMcG · November 2011

DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

jillychris · November 2011

Yes. MH went to almost all of my IVF monitoring appts with me, which I know isn't always the case, but I wanted him there in the event I got bad news about my cycle (which I did at times!!). He is definitely going to my first u/s with me tomorrows, since this is when we will see our LO for the first time. As long as his schedule allows it, I will want him to come to all of my appts moving forward. I want him there with me, and I want him to feel that he is a part of everything. (I long ago had to get over the fact that I didn't want him to know what I weighed!!)

returning_bump_member · November 2011

Mine will be coming to my appt on Monday. It's the first one he's been able to go to. I'm hoping they do an u/s since it's the first time I'll be with this practice and so DH can finally hear the heartbeat!!

He most likely won't come to many, unless he can take leave to visit on the days I have an appt.

STW14 · November 2011

DH plans on going to all. Not because I said so, but because that's what he wants!

bananers · November 2011

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Indifferent Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Stefaniepr · November 2011

DH came to a few at the beginning of my first pregnancy, plus all ultrasounds. But other than that no. This time, he'll probably go to the 12 week and 20- week u/s.

chusum · November 2011

DH has come to all of my u/s except the first. It was at 5.5 weeks so I knew there wouldn't be a heartbeat, so he opted to miss it. He said he'd like to come to all the u/s appointments.

ellesmama · November 2011

DH comes when he is able. Neither of us want him to take a lot of unnecessary time off work, so if he just happens to be available, he'll come- if not, then he doesn't. Of course, any big appointments he'll make it a point to be there.

LEIGHLOVE09 · November 2011

DH will come to ones with ultrasounds. He hasn't been at his company for too long so we need to be careful about how much time he asks to be off (especially since they don't know why he's asking for time off yet).

STW14 · November 2011

bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Ditto, I need to know! I have my appointment tomorrow and DH is coming. I was gonna have him wait in the waiting area during the exam and come back for the u/s and question and answer portion of the appointment.

I never heard of a rectal exam... I can hear DH now.. "rectum.... damn near killed' em" Tongue Tied

Stefaniepr · November 2011

bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Oh! LOL - I forgot about that part. I can't remember what it was for now, but DH was absent for this as well.

venussapphire · November 2011

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

NO ONE TOLD ME DID THIS?!?!?! WHY WASN'T I TOLD EARLIER?

is this the norm?

AuroraMarieMcG · November 2011

STW14:
bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Ditto, I need to know! I have my appointment tomorrow and DH is coming. I was gonna have him wait in the waiting area during the exam and come back for the u/s and question and answer portion of the appointment.

I never heard of a rectal exam... I can hear DH now.. "rectum.... damn near killed' em"

Sorry - this will be kind of graphic for some!!! Well she was doing a pelvic exam, to check on everything to see if my body could actually support the pregnancy. So she had one hand on my belly and one hand "inside" of me feeling around my baby's new home, and all of a sudden she goes "and now to check the rectum" and just slid her finger in while she said it! Ahh! I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. LOL. I thought I was the only one that didn't know this would happen, so I'm glad you guys didn't know either! Glad I could share! LOL.

pinotgirl · November 2011

Stefaniepr:
bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Oh! LOL - I forgot about that part. I can't remember what it was for now, but DH was absent for this as well.

Um, I'm also at 8 weeks and no one told me about this.

venussapphire · November 2011

AuroraMarieMcG:
STW14:
bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Ditto, I need to know! I have my appointment tomorrow and DH is coming. I was gonna have him wait in the waiting area during the exam and come back for the u/s and question and answer portion of the appointment.

I never heard of a rectal exam... I can hear DH now.. "rectum.... damn near killed' em"

Sorry - this will be kind of graphic for some!!! Well she was doing a pelvic exam, to check on everything to see if my body could actually support the pregnancy. So she had one hand on my belly and one hand "inside" of me feeling around my baby's new home, and all of a sudden she goes "and now to check the rectum" and just slid her finger in while she said it! Ahh! I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. LOL. I thought I was the only one that didn't know this would happen, so I'm glad you guys didn't know either! Glad I could share! LOL.

but WHY?! what is the benefit?

STW14 · November 2011

AuroraMarieMcG:
STW14:
bananers:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

Dear God, why is there a rectal exam? Is this normal?

Ditto, I need to know! I have my appointment tomorrow and DH is coming. I was gonna have him wait in the waiting area during the exam and come back for the u/s and question and answer portion of the appointment.

I never heard of a rectal exam... I can hear DH now.. "rectum.... damn near killed' em"

Sorry - this will be kind of graphic for some!!! Well she was doing a pelvic exam, to check on everything to see if my body could actually support the pregnancy. So she had one hand on my belly and one hand "inside" of me feeling around my baby's new home, and all of a sudden she goes "and now to check the rectum" and just slid her finger in while she said it! Ahh! I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. LOL. I thought I was the only one that didn't know this would happen, so I'm glad you guys didn't know either! Glad I could share! LOL.

I can't help but think of the "Friends" episode where Chandler is molested by Joey's tailor. Joey thought that the tailor moving his package left to right to measure his inseam was normal!

Karrotelle · November 2011

My H was pretty insistent that he comes to all the appointments and I'm happy with that. I feel like he should be there and I want him there. If he absolutely can't make it, it's not the end of the world but I'd like him to be there for them all if he can.

AuroraMarieMcG · November 2011

I didn't really ask for a specific reason. She followed it with "I'm glad to let you know that your body can support a baby up to 9 pounds, and deliver as well!" Hearing that kind of distracted me I guess. It really seemed like it was all part of the pelvic exam. Maybe she was checking if something was wrong? I'm not really sure. Maybe I will add that to the list of questions for next time.

Sorry if I freaked some of you ladies out! I wasn't trying to. Just trying to offer a head's up so that you aren't as surprised as I was.

lolabunny919 · November 2011

My DH came with me to the first appointment. He is planning on coming with me to my next appt. I think he will end up going to most of them, except for at the end when they become so frequent. He's really excited. We always book them for the end of the day so he only misses the last hour of work anyway.

Blackvelvet · November 2011

DH made it to the first appointment (medical history they wanted his families two and required him to come) then the NT scan and the 20 week.

I think he is comign with me to my ultrasound this week but that is about the only time he likes to come he doesn't need to watch me pee in a cup or complain my back hurts.

lmj8284 · November 2011

My DH is definitely coming to the 1st appt. After that, he'll come to as many as possible. He's a business owner so I can understand if things come up and he misses a few here and there.

OO cupcakes OO · November 2011

Mine comes with me to all appts. Since my first loss I get very anxious and if anything were wrong I would want him there with me. I think once I get to a point where I feel more comfortable I'll be able to go alone again.

MrsCAA · November 2011

DH comes to all appts with me (and did with DS too). But he works odd hours, so he always has one weekday off, so I just make my appts then. It would make a difference if he had to take off of work.

butterfly1979 · November 2011

My husband will probably only come to the u/s appointments and maybe a few normal appointments here and there. He came to a lot of my appointments the first time around and I just felt like it was a waste of his time. We own two businesses so he is extremely busy during the day. He can get the time off, but I just don't see the point in him taking the time to watch me pee in a cup, get weighed, blood pressure check ect. at every non u/s appointment when he can get stuff done at work and come home at a normal time.

Olive44 · November 2011

He comes to all appointments with me because I have had two missed miscarriages. You don't want to be alone when you find out something bad happened.

alison518 · November 2011

DH is planning on coming with me to all appointments. I had asked him if he wanted to come to the one where they do all the blood testing (I didnt want to go alone in case I faint) and he said that of course he'll come to all, and that were in this together. It made me happy.

vjmc21 · November 2011

venussapphire:

AuroraMarieMcG:
DH and I plan on him coming to all appointments while his schedule is flexible. He likes to be right there hearing stuff as I do, and it helps us remember questions/answers better (darn preganancy brain). However, I kind of wish he wasn't there for the first one. He still quotes what the doctor was saying during the rectal exam portion of the appointment... men can act like such children sometimes! LOL.

NO ONE TOLD ME DID THIS?!?!?! WHY WASN'T I TOLD EARLIER?

is this the norm?

I don't think so. This the 1st time I've heard of someone (on the bump or irl) getting a rectal exam with their pelvic. I never have with any of my pregnancies.

Now back to the topic! My DH goes with me to all of the u/s. Most of my appointments are very short and I'm too cheap to have him drive across town and back for them

SHAYD12 · November 2011

This post made me kinda sad lol I wish my DH could come.he went to every appointment last time and the one he was going to skip they ended up wanting to do our first ultra sound so he rushed and made it after that he planned on making them all... I am going to record the ultra sounds and heart beats for him

lpope9608 · November 2011

My DH came to every appointment with DD...actually, I think there was maybe one appointment that he couldn't make it to. He is planning on doing the same with this one, too. It's not necessary, but he likes being there to hear the heartbeat. It's his way of being more involved since I'm obviously the one doing all the work :-)

bg1166 · November 2011

He will come to the major appointments with me.

Aegis2005 · November 2011

I haven't been to an OB yet, but DH has been there for the important RE appointments. He didn't go to any of my monitoring appointments, but he's been there for all others. He'll be going to my 2nd u/s at the RE on the 10th, but after that he probably won't go to an OB appointment until we do the 18/20 week ultrasound.

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