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Blended Families
Really?? The world does not spin around you!!
So for the last couple of months BM has been telling SO that not matter what happens between us I will only ever be a girlfriend, and I will never be family to them. She has also told this to the youngest SS. Now SS thinks he can do what ever he wants at our place. He has told SO that he does not need to listen to anything I say to him. BM has even told SO that if they need to be told to do anything, I need to tell him and he needs to be the one to correct them on it. Really, I am now a tattle tale??? I seem like I just went back in time........ I do not get in their face nor do I yell at them, SO has gotten on his DS for the way he treats me and he has gone back to his BM and is saying that I am doing it.
Any advise on how to make SS understand that this is not how people act.
In the past BM has told him that I do not need to be at home when the boys come over, I need to find another place to stay. As I have no right to be around HER kids.
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Re: Really?? The world does not spin around you!!
BM likes to pull this stunt and DH and I are married!
SO needs to make sure that SK's are fully aware that in your house you are both authoritative adults. Unfortunately, I often do feel like a tattle tale in my home because when it comes right down to it, the kids are DH's. I talk with him most of the time before setting out discipline. It also shows SK's that DH and I are a united team.
BM tells SK's that neither me or the coming baby are their family and that we never will be. This is her insecurity and although it makes ripples, we choose not to let those ripples turn into waves.
BM has tried the whole "she can't be there" stunt before the CO was changed. It didn't work. One we are married. The lawyer told us that if we weren't, she could have gotten the morality clause approved.
If he hasn't already, SO needs to make sure that he directly tells BM that in your and his home, she does not make the rules. DH tells BM this at least once a month. It sinks in for maybe a week or two, but he is consistent in telling her and SK's this.
It all sucks. I'm sorry that more than one of us have to deal with people like this, but I'm also glad that we are here for each other.