Really big vent...
tsuredraider
member
So, when the DH and I announced we were expecting our first child almost a month ago, my sister was excited and mentioned that she wished she was pregnant, so we could be pregnant together. Needless to say, I thought it was kind of weird that she wanted this strange "bonding" experience with me. She already has a 7 year daughter of her own and a 6 year old step-daughter, both of which they really don't pay attention to since every time we visit, they are told to go to their room when all they want to do is see me and the DH, and her and her husband are definitely not in a financial situation to be bringing a child into the world, but I'm sure people could say the same thing about me and my DH.
Anyway, I have a major faculty panel exam/interview to determine whether or not I can move on to my internship and receive my Master's degree in August (even after the baby comes... I'm kind of addicted to college 
) and my sister is blowing my phone up. I call her after I'm done and she proceeds to tell me her and her husband are now pregnant! I was flabbergasted and angry. After talking with our mom tonight, she honestly feels the same way as me and my DH that she is trying to detract attention from us onto herself. I think my sister feels this way because my mom is already buying stuff for our LO and she believes that I am our mom's favorite, which she mentioned to me when I told her we were expecting. I don't know why she feels this way when our mom clearly bought stuff for her when she had her first daughter.
Sorry for such a long rant, but I just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening, or reading for that matter!
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Re: Really big vent...
I just read it and I can completely feel your pain. I don't know why my family has to be so dramatic about all situations (my mom, I love her, but she was very dramatic and making a scene at our wedding reception back in August). She can't accept that someone else is going to be in the limelight for a little while. My sister's 29 and I'm 27 and guess I just wanted her to accept that I'm not looking for someone (especially my sister) to be pregnant with. She used her first child as a bargaining chip to get people to feel sorry for her and help her since she's always in financial trouble. I'm afraid I'm going to have a difficult pregnancy with being high risk (type 1 diabetes) and really don't need stress on top of it from her.
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Since I am an only child I don't know how it feels to have that whole competitive thing going. I thought that ended when people became adults. My advice is to ignore the comments that might slide from her one sided view and try to enjoy the excitement of your pregnancy. Sounds like the rest of the family is thrilled and she'll just have to take the back burner for a while. It's not that her baby is any less important but it is your first. Enjoy
I had this happen with my wedding. Everyone was focused on our special day and the plans leading up to it, which my husband's attention wh*re cousin couldn't stand. So first she ran out and got the most outrageously huge boob job you can imagine, then she again ran out and married a marine she had known for only two weeks, then she went and made up outrageous lies about me and she called around and told everyone two days before our wedding. Some people are just bizarre and cannot stand the attention being off of them. Its disgusting!
I'm sorry about that... it really sucks that your sister would be like that.
My sister had been planning on trying for her second child while her hubby is home on R&R later this month but once I told her I was pregnant decided to wait, which I thought was awesome of her, though my being pregnant isn't the only reason she decided to wait I still thought it was pretty cool of her
Wow, that is some unhealthy narcissism your sister has. Creating another person to steal your thunder?
Actually I was kinda accused of this. My sister got pregnant with my niece. Her husband at the time told my mother "Watch, Chouli will be pregnant within a few months. They're so competitve." .......................9 yrs later, he's right! Haha!! I'm going to steal her....wait. Too late.
Rediculous.
Can you and your Mom talk to her openly about it? It seems like she's really insecure. It's a shame a baby is being used as a pawn. Hopefully, she truly wanted another child.
Wow, that's really sad.
It really is disgusting. I hope you find a lot of happiness in your own pregnancy tsure and that you can block your sister out of your mind to some degree.
Unfortunately I have a similar problem but with my mother. She has to be in the spotlight and yes she will steal it from her own daughter. Leading up to and at my wedding her catch phrase was "It's really all about me." and she sure acted like it. Honestly, I'm dreading telling her I'm pregnant. I know she's going to go buy a million "I'm a Grandmother" shirts (not so much because she's happy for me, but to show herself off) and she'll probably call all the people I wanted to tell and ruin my opportunity to surprise people, and on and on. I know thinking about it stresses me out big time so I try as often as possible to not think about it.
Good luck! Try to not let her get you too stressed!
Incredibly annoying. My sister in law has been dating a guy since may and they now live together. we got married in july and she told me then (because i said we wanted to start trying after the honeymoon) that good because when you are pregnant with your second child i want to be pregant with my first.
umm...no! i want to be pregnant by myself. i already had to share the spot light for the wedding with my brother. they went from sometime in the next few years to moving it to 5 weeks before our wedding. I just want to do the pregnant thing by myself.
actually my brother and his wife also said they wanted to have kids right away but would "let" me have them first.
ugh family.
SIL did this to me. Then she wondered why she wasn't invited to the wedding. Also DH's dad blew up at us because even though she doesnt like the bride and has spread nasty stuff about me she should still be at the wedding. she even had friends call us on her behalf.
i was worried she would show up (DH's father actually encouraged her to show up. "its a public place waht are they going to do") but she didnt thankfully.
i really hate dh's family. they really suck.
While it totally sucks that she did that - are you close to her? I ask because my SIL (my brother's wife) and I just happened to get pregnant within 2 weeks of each other with our first children. And it was so much fun having a super close friend to go through pregnancy with. It wasn't competitive at all, we had separate showers, got an equal amount of attention, and in general it was just a WONDERFUL experience for us.
When she got pregnant with #2, she actually said, "I wish you were going to be pregnant with me again." (Which broke my heart, because she didn't know that we were TTC, but losing pregnancies.)
So while it really does suck, because it sounds like your sister did this out of insecurity, is there anyway that this could turn into a positive experience? I guess a lot of it depends on your sister and maybe I'm giving her too much credit for being able to share the spotlight, but I just wanted to share my positive experience.
This is what happened to me. We tried for a year to get pregnant and told siblings and parents at 6 weeks. 4 weeks later, my BIL and SIL announced they were pregnant (2 1/2 weeks ahead of me). They NEVER had wanted kids before and decided, eh we'll try this month and got pregnant the first time. Needless to say, I was upset at first, like really upset. But as the pregnancies went on, it was really nice to share it with her. We did have a joint shower (we agreed it would be great) and ended up delivering within 9 days of each other. I was stupid and petty looking back. I was just pissed getting pregnant was so easy for her (like everything else in their lives) and it was so hard for us. She had a perfect pregnancy and mine was terrible. But now I'm pregnant with #2 and I wish she was too. I'm secretly hoping that they are but aren't telling people again until 12 weeks so we can share the experiences, old and new, again. I obviously don't know the full story, but I'd let it go and enjoy being pregnant. Hopefully she will stop being stupid.
Sorry that you are having such a bad time with your family situation.
The comments though below worry me. My SIL (DH's brothers wife) is pregnant. I found out she was about 7 w and the next week I found out I was 5w along. She's announced to family and is a very needy person when it comes to spotlights and needing to feel like she's special. I'm pretty sure she's going to freak out to find out 4w behind her. They were trying and very open about it and we weren't trying. I'm sure it will still cause problems