Infertility Veterans

I feel like I am at a crossroads....

I am not quite sure where to go from here.  I have met with 2 RE's in the past few weeks and each has decided that there is no scientific evidence to support that I have an egg quality issue that is causing my miscarriages.  One RE feels that here may be a uterine issue that we might be able to test with a colleague of his from Yale and the other thinks there is no scientific evidence in my records to support that there is a uterine issue and she thinks we should try on our own.

So now, we are here trying to figure out where to go from here.  I just want a baby.  I don't want to keep going on wild goose chases to figure out what the problem is.  One part of me says to just keep going down these roads to figure out the problem.  The other part of me is saying that maybe I should seriously consider asking my sister if she would be willing to be a gestational carrier for us (she has identical twins who are 5 that were conceived naturally).  My heart breaks a little each time I think about not carrying our baby, but in the end, I want to be a mother.  I am just so confused and wish that there was an easy answer. 

Sorry for the long and somewhat pointless post. I am just tired and sad.  4 years of TTC is taking its toll on me!  I guess I just needed to get this out with you girls who "get it." If you made it this far, thanks for listening! 

After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

Re: I feel like I am at a crossroads....

  • ((HUGS))

    i wish this were easier.

    for me, i would need to feel like i exhausted every avenue and tried everything.   even if i chose not to try everything it would be easier for me to move with some type of real answer.  when you are ready to move onto plan b you will know.  sometimes i wish someone would tell me that i should just stop trying to carry a baby and move on but no one has.  when a dr. tells me to move on i will.

    gl cutie, we're all pulling for you.

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
  • Huge hugs.

    I agree with worms.  I want to try everything to have a baby before giving up.  As we've only had one BFP and loss, we feel we have to try again.  If we had multiple losses, I would probably be willing to undergo whatever tests the drs thought were necessary to try to figure out what is causing the losses.  Only once the drs advised giving up because it was very unlikely that I'd carry to term, would I accept that.  I think you will know what the time is right.  Best of luck whatever you decide.

    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • sending you huge ((hugs)).  I wish this were easier.  I'm sorry.

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Huge HUGS!

    I am going to be the one who sort of disagrees w pp.  Not for anyone else, but for myself.

    The longer i go thru this...the less i care about carrying a baby, a genetic link etc.  Like u, i just want to be a mom.

    The reason i am still doing ART/IVF...is bc it is cheaper than adoption, and easier from a "paperwork" standpoint.  Also, DH doesn't like the idea of having our life examined by a 3rd party.

    So i totally see ur point, and i would also be considering that option...if i were in ur shoes too.  You would still be a mom, and poss save urself additional yrs of heartache.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • ::Hugs::

    I hate that IF makes us feel this way.

    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
  • imagevanessagorc:

    Huge HUGS!

    I am going to be the one who sort of disagrees w pp.  Not for anyone else, but for myself.

    The longer i go thru this...the less i care about carrying a baby, a genetic link etc.  Like u, i just want to be a mom.

    The reason i am still doing ART/IVF...is bc it is cheaper than adoption, and easier from a "paperwork" standpoint.  Also, DH doesn't like the idea of having our life examined by a 3rd party.

    So i totally see ur point, and i would also be considering that option...if i were in ur shoes too.  You would still be a mom, and poss save urself additional yrs of heartache.

    That is pretty much how I am feeling right now.  After almost 4 years and 8 early losses and still no answers, I feel like I am just ready to be a mom, no matter how it happens.

    After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

  • I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It sucks how it only gets harder the longer you deal with infertility. I hope you come to decision that brings you peace.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • Sending (((huge hugs))) your way.  I'm sorry it's so tough right now...
    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

  • (((hugs))) Not easy questions to deal with, but I trust that you guys will come up with the plan that is right for you. I just try to remember with these types of decisions that there is not necessarily one right choice - several of the options could bring you a happy outcome. Thinking of you and sending you a lot of strength in making these big decisions.
    IUIs #1-3 (1x unmedicated, 2x Clomid) = 2 BFNs, 1 m/c at 7w3d
    IUIs #4-6 (injects) = 3 BFNs
    IVF #1 = BFN
    FET #1 = BFN
    FET #2 = BFN
    IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
    IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
    Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
    ~~
    TTC again March 2014
    FET #3 - May/June 2014
    -
    all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
    IVF #4 - July/August 2014 
    beta 1 (11dp3dt) 220, beta 2 (13dp3dt) 671, beta 3 (19dp3dt) 10762
  • I wish for once it could be easy.  I am sorry you have to make these kind of big decision.  Sending you hugs...
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
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