Adoption
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Dumb comment by co-worker
I am usually a lurker, but I am stepping out of the shadows to vent. Let me preface this by saying that I understand that people that have never been through the adoption process often are at a loss for what to say to us.
So, we have been waiting for 4 months. A co-worker asked me today how things are going. I told her we still have not been matched. She said, "Well, at least you still have a job." WTF???
The waste in life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used and the selfish prudence that will risk nothing; and which shirking pain, misses happiness as well.
Mary Cholmondeley
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Re: Dumb comment by co-worker
i'm sorry you had to hear that. people just need to be educated.
People are so dumb. I was looking for multivitamins at a local health food store, and the lady was gonig on and on about how I needed a certain kind post-partum. I said, "Oh, no I don't. We adopted her." She said, "Oh, how old was she?" "2 days old when she came home with us."
Her response? "Oh, so she's practically yours."
Beaureve and Dr. L -- I just can't believe the things that come out of people's mouths.
We met a relative of dd's babysittter the other day is who is doing fostering. When we found out, we explained that we had adopted Zoe. She said something like, "Oh, I thought she was yours." I know she meant biological child, but still....that kind of comment hurts. And it's odd coming from a woman who must have gone through some kind of training to do fostering.
I agree; sometimes the people who seem the most sympathetic come out with the worst.
The notary I used the other day was asking about our adoption. I explained that we were trying to adopt a child that was in M's orphanage. She smiled and mentioned how great that is and then asked, "So, other than your adopted son, do you have any, you know, of your own children?" {emphasis all hers} I couldn't help myself, and responded with a smile, "My adopted son is my own, and he is my only child." She then preceded to explain to me that she and her husband suffered five losses, and had considered adopting, but since she was already 45 at the time (she is probably in her mid-60's now), they decided against it. I just smiled. I understand she meant it all well, but it always bothers me to hear. That's exactly the kind of question I don't need asked around M (luckily, he wasn't with me).