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LGBT Parenting
LV1979
member
The tww verdict is in...
LV1979
member
and IUI#1 is a BFN!!!!
This sucks. We were expecting it because of negative HPT but this TTC roller coaster is not the kind of roller coaster I am a fan of. This was our first try and we werent expecting a miracle because we honestly have the worst luck but we were hopeful. Prometrium stops now and as soon as AF shows herself we will start all over again. The good old "baby money" club account is about to get a bit smaller and the cryo storage two more vials smaller. I am bummed, this sucks, and now I am ticked off at myself for crying. Ok enough whining time to rally the "little fellas: for round two. Maybe my pep talk wasnt encouraging enough.
Side question survey: We both want to carry at some point and DW is trying first because I am not allowed to try until I am 18 mo. post op from my gastric bypass (I will be 18 mo on November 24th). We were discussing how many cycles to try before we switch and we are not really sure how many times we should try before we change things up. To you seasoned vets out there what would you suggest? We are hoping to get a BFP before we need to consider it but I am a planner and like back-ups..
We had three BFN in the Fall of 2011. It is back on to some baby making come June. Swim little fellas, SWIM!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The tww verdict is in...
I am so sorry. I hope you get your BFP soon!
I don't really have any advice on when to switch it up, but I think PP is right that the average is about 6 cycles.
Sorry about the BFN. Disappointment is normal.
As for when to switch, personally I wouldn't before six months. Also, just because you're okay to go at 18 months post opp doesn't mean you have to. Okay I didn't word that correctly. I guess I'm asking would you be at a good weight for you - your personal goal? Would it be a weight that you would be comfortable at knowing you're might gain during pregnancy. And would that pregnancy weight set you back or put an extra strain on you. I know nothing about gastric bypass so you can tell me to bugger off if none of this matters. I guess it would just be something I would think about. does that make sense?
Actually all valid points. I am as far as I am going to get right now until I have reconstructive surgery. I have lost 225 lbs but have an estimated 40 lbs of skin that needs to be removed. My weight has stabilized and although still considered obese I am very healthy and happy. It is very tempting to ttc before I have the reconstruction done because then I will not be stretching out my brand new abdomen.
As it stands we have enough for 8 tries (I am hoping it wont take this long). We are most likely going to switch after those 8 and after we rebuild our cash. The debate is that we heart our donor and have 7 vials is the bank we are questioning whether to switch wombs or donors after those vials are gone which would be after try 4.
I have thouroughly decided that lesbian couples who are TTC really get a good test of stress handling before they ever become parents. This would be so much easier ( and more fun) if we could just knock our partners up, LOL!!!
Boo, I'm sorry. It got easier after the first BFN. After that I could let go of the idea that we were going to be magical lesbians who got pregnant on the first try
I'm sorry to hear about your bfn hopefully a BFP will show up soon!!
I asked J this exact same question the other day and she said she's going to try four rounds at the doctor and then we'll move on to other means, meaning me lol
That's frustrating.
To address your question about when to "switch," I think that's an individual couple by couple situation. We also both planned to carry, but have her (mel) start. My partner is 5-6 yrs older so that was one factor, but the main thing Is that she was adamant to carry first. So after 10ish IUIs and 1 IVF later, here we are!
Recently, we've but having the hypothetical what next conversation, and it's looking a little doubtful at this point that we'll try to have more children after the twins. We always wanted 2-3, but getting 2 at once kinda makes me think---be done. Conceiving is very stressful and insanely expensive, and I don't know if we wanna go back to that. So, while its not really our original plan, that's kinda irrelevant because really it's about God's plan, not ours.
This x10. No matter how much you read and hear about it taking people a long time to get pregnant, all it takes is hearing ONE person say it took them one try -- and suddenly you are sure you're going to be that lucky lesbian. The next BFN is truly easier...I'm hoping not to find out what the 3rd one feels like...
Good luck and don't get too down about it! You'll get there eventually!
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Thanks everyone for the support. It is definitely a blow this first one but we both had a moment and have regrouped for the next round...we counted the days and figured out we should be doing IUI #2 on Turkey Day...BRING ON THE BASTER!!!! lol
That's the spirit.
Knowing it can take a while doesn't take the sting out of those BFNs (or at least it didn't for me). FWIW, it took us four tries (though we did it at home), but the result is totally and completely worth it. In the end, you'll end up with the wonderful, amazing kid you're meant to have - and you'll know you only got him/her because of the specific combination that happened when he/she was conceived. Having J makes up for all of the disappointing BFNs because I know we wouldn't have HIM otherwise, and he's perfect. 
According to Fertility Friend (and thanks to my extra long October cycle), it looks like I may be doing IUI #3 on Turkey Day myself. Here's to Thanksgiving babies, maybe?
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Boo. I'm sorry. That first BFN sucks (though they all suck), I so remember being thrown for days with the news.
We did 3 cycles with 1 donor, then switched donors for another 3, then switched again, and worked on the first try.
If you really love your donor, then you should consider moving towards IVF- if its doable for you, since there is more control on the positives. We had a couple donors to choose from, and IVF wasnt an option for us, and I dont think I want to carry, so that was never a consideration. But our RE did recommend that if we are committed to a particular donor, we should move to higher medicated IUI (injectables etc) or IVF to increase the likelihood.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I realized i AWed right after your post, and hope that wasn't an extra ouch. I didn't even read the board before posting.
I hope you can regroup and a little bambino makes his or her way to you soon.