C-sections
lilylow
member
Vent about c/s misconceptions
lilylow
member
in C-sections
Is it just me or has there been a lot of posters coming on here looking for us to tell them how fabulous our c sections have been? Is it some new fad to request a completely un-necessary surgery instead of giving birth the old fashioned way?
I am completely for medically relevant c-sections, but I'm extremely opposed to women getting them for no reason or because it's what their friends did.
If I had the choice of a c/s or a vaginal birth I would have taken the vaginal birth in a heart beat.
It's extremely frustrating how women who have never had a c/s approach them. They are not some fast pain free super birth. OK vent over
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Re: Vent about c/s misconceptions
I agree that a c/s should not be taken lightly. I had a c/s because my LO was breech and I feel lucky that it was an option, but it wasn't an easy one. I wish I could have delivered vaginally
I guess if others want to have a c/s instead of a vaginal birth it is their own choice. I think it's unfortunate that they would put their bodies through that, but who am I to judge how they have their child?
To me it seems that more often than not, posters are not happy about having a c section and would prefer a vaginal birth. It seems that many people are actually very upset about having a c section. To those people, I just want to say, its not so bad!
As a BTDT c-section mama you can't win. You want to make those that are going for one for medical reasons feel like it's not so bad, but you don't want those who just want one for their own convenience to think its no big deal.
There's nothing easy about having a c-section, just as there's nothing easy about vaginal childbirth. There's a reason it's called 'labor'. My LO was breech with low fluid levels, so my c-section was medically necessary. I am 'one and done' and wish I had a beautiful, natural birth experience, but my pregnancy didn't progress that way.
People who never had a c-section don't quite get how much surgery taxes you. Just lifting a leg or any minor moves had my whole midsection on fire. You take for granted the muscles you use in your abdomen and I still have twinges ten months PP.
5lbs 9 oz, 18.5 inches long
6 months: 16lbs 15 oz, 27 inches long
I agree that if someone thinks a c/s is a guaranteed painless or easy way to have a baby, they could use a reality check.
But if someone wants to have an elective cesarean, I'm fine with that. One of my best friends is having an elective primary cesarean in November and I completely support her, just like I support women who want to have a med-free birth or a VBAC or whatever.
If you oppose elective c/s, what is your reasoning? Do you only oppose them if they are primary cesareans? What about RCS or women who had a difficult vaginal birth? How do you distinguish between necessary and elective anyway--do you factor in the mother's mental health or situations where there is really a large gray area in terms of necessity?
I agree to a point. My biggest pet peeve has always been women who just go along with whatever they are told without researching on their own so that they can make an informed decision. In most cases a vaginal birth is the best option, but not all. And a woman should really know her body and all of her available options along with their pros and cons so that she can make an informed decison that is best for her and her family.
But, my c/s was definitely not a walk in the park. I remember panicking every time I had to cough. It hurt sooo badly!!
I'm sorry, but this attitude bothers me. Who are we to judge the health care decisions other women make and whether their reasons were good enough? Not everyone has the educational background to do real research on medical issues, sort through the jargon and statistical information in medical journals, etc. Not everyone wants to do that. I agree wholeheartedly that we have serious problems with maternity care in the US, but they have a lot more to do with the structure of the system itself than with how many books pregnant women are reading. It's the midwife or doctor's job to provide informed consent, not the patient's.
Elective c-sections are so strange to me because in Canada c-sections are only performed if medically necessary, so elective is not even an option. Hospital policies preventing VBAC attempts seem bizarre to me as well. When I discussed future pregnancies with my OB at my 6 week appointment, he told me there was nothing physically preventing me from delivering vaginally in the future (I had an unplanned c-section due to fetal distress and failure to progress after induction at 41 weeks). I wasn't sure if there was something preventing me from delivering vaginally, but my OB's response to me was more of no need to consider RCS versus whether or not to consider attempting VBAC.
I know attitudes vary from region to region as well. I have a coworker from Brazil that had a baby earlier this year and his wife had an elective c-section scheduled at 3 weeks prior to due date. Apparently that is just how most women deliver in Brazil, though he did mention that there was a movement to have women deliver vaginally now, but that is still in it's infancy.
I sure wouldn't have elected to have a c/s and would like to avoid rcs in the future for sure!
Agreed. I think everyone is entitled to make their own decisions about their own healthcare. I personally like to make decisions based on research and knowledge, but others will make decisions based on other things (cultural norms, money, family, convenience). I think it is their right to decide, even if their motivation is different from mine.
I completely disagree. While it is very important to have a health care provider who can provide informed consent, it is your job as a person to be well informed. Just like you should read the fine print before signing a mortgage, you should know what you are getting into with your health decisions. Or are you one of those people that blames the banks for the mortgage crisis?
I also don't think you need to be able to read medical journals or jargon to be able to do your own research. There is plenty of adequate information out there written for lay people. Be your own advocate.
I am also not judging whether anyone's reasons are good enough. Just that they are well informed about the decisions they are making. That is not the same as saying their reason isn't good enough. If someone is willing to take the risks of a c/s to avoid having their lady bits stretched out, that is just fine. Just make sure you understand what those risks are and decide for yourself if they are worth it.
I agree with you 100% As someone who isn't a VBAC candidate for a couple of reasons, I'm still trying to convince myself that it's not that bad... and having no luck!
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A patient has the responsibility to be honest about their medical situation and their wishes, and about whether they are following medical treatments, and they are responsible for making their own decisions. It is their responsibility to listen and ask questions if they don't understand something. But the ethics of informed consent place the responsibility for providing accurate medical information on the care provider. Our legal system has upheld this. The patient cannot possibly do enough research ahead of time to fully understand every medical scenario and corresponding treatments that may come up, especially since things written for lay people often gloss over the actual medical details or are inaccurate/outdated. Everyone deserves the best evidence-based care, whether they have a subscription to JAMA or dropped out of school and are illiterate.
The pt has no obligation to do their own medical research. Yes, it's great to do some research (as long as by research, we aren't talking Ricki Lake) and to be your own advocate. But I don't understand criticizing the medical choices other people make.
I could have written this myself. I co-own a natural parenting/cloth diapering store. The other owner and I have both had c-sections (soon to be six between us) and people gasp when they find out. Apparently we are abnormal and not part of the cool kid group now.
Along with that, I don't like the idea that people often get that having a c-section is the "easy" way. I guess I didn't realize having to fear sneezing, coughing, laughing etc for the post c-section pain (and all that comes with it) was the "easy" way...
meh, I disagree. I didn't find c-section recovery to be that bad- I've known women with vaginal births who have had worse recoveries.
I generally believe that women should have choices when it comes to their bodies. If someone would prefer to deliver via c-section, no matter what their reasoning is, I believe that is a valid choice that should be allowed. I didn't choose a c-section and I'm attempting a VBAC this time around, but I firmly believe that should be my choice, and that every woman should be afforded that choice.
This is untrue. I'm Canadian; I was given a choice. I know several women who have elected to have a c-section.
https://ecmaj.ca/content/170/5/775.full
I feel the same way, although I think it's more of a subtle thing, just because I am about the only one of my friends who's had a c/s and a lot of them are very pro-natural birth. I don't advertise that I'm having an RCS because I feel that I might be judged for choosing it. (I am a VBAC candidate, although due to GD and my own and my family's tendency to carry babies well past 40 weeks, I'm not sure my chances would be very good at this point.)
Honestly, the kind of misconception about c-sections that bothers me more is that they inevitably make it more difficult to bond, BF, whatever. I see this sometimes from moms who plan natural births - they're dead scared of having a c/s for a lot of reasons, most of which don't resonate with my experience. I recovered fairly easily, had no problem BFing (for 21 months!), bonded with her immediately despite my own doubts beforehand that I had a maternal instinct, and never resented the fact that I didn't have a vaginal birth. I know that a lot of c/s moms don't have positive experiences, or even if they do still want to have a vaginal birth. I respect that, and I would never look down on someone for having negative feelings about their c/s or wanting to/wishing they could have a vaginal birth the next time. But since my experience was positive, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me for having a c/s or to judge me for choosing to have an RCS.
lol the other day my MIL was talking about c-sections vs. vag birth and told me one of her friends once said "Ok, you can't tell me that being cut open in the stomach hurts worse than being stitched up down there!" and I could tell my MIL was in agreement, as anyone would be who hasn't had a c-section.
I had a HORRIBLE recovery. I literally felt like someone had tried to stab me to death and it was 5 months before I felt totally back to normal. They're not just cutting through skin, they're cutting through muscles! No one can really imagine how that feels though, so explaining it is pointless. But, when I use the phrase "practically stabbed to death" it usually clicks for them.
It's the doctor or midwife's job to inform us about our safest option(s), and our job to make the decision and yes, maybe do a little research. It's your body after all. I'm just confused about what part of her attitude bothers you and what that attitude even is... I applaud her for not walking into birthing blindly. My first pregnancy I spend about half my time reading and researching.
Very well said iris427! Couldn't agree more!
That I agree with. I refused to even watch that film. Propaganda.
I still don't think expecting patients to be informed is being critical of their medical decisions. I am not seeing where you get that idea. I must be missing something.
I do agree that medical professionals need to be more cognizant of giving their patients informed consent. However, until they are truly forced to do that, then it is a patient's responsibility. It has to be. At least to the point of knowing which questions to ask.
I
you, iris! I hope you know that by now.
I am extremely pro-natural childbirth for myself, and think that it is most often the best way to give birth. However, I do not judge other women for making decisions different then my own. I also don't judge women who don't do the same sort of research as I do.
My son had surgery yesterday to remove a small cyst above his left eyebrow. We met with the pediatric surgeon at a consultation prior to surgery and went over risks to removal, as well as risks to leaving the cyst alone. The only research I did after that was to do some reading on the type of cyst that it was suspected to be, and what that would mean for his health. I don't think that I was being a poor patient for not digging through twenty years worth of journal articles to determine the best method of removal. That is what I trusted the surgeon to do. In the end, it all comes down to good, honest provider care.
Very interesting! I did not know they were permitted now. Perhaps it is a regional difference? I know people who have asked for them, but because of no medical need, they delivered vaginally. I suppose it could be up to the OB as well? Good to know though! I know they definitely are not typical here though.
I agree with your MIL's friend. I HAVE been stitched up in both places, and the C Section was an easier, and faster recovery ... it hurt to have sex for almost 18 months afterwards, and it is still sensitive almost 5 years later. That being said, I would never elect to cut myself open without a darn good reason (the stuck 11 pounds of baby was a pretty good reason in my book).
I agree with you. I have to have a c-section due to medical reasons, and I am really sad about it. I want to expierence it the natural way.
And whose dr. allows them to choose the c/s. My dr. wont do it unless needed.
A little late to the debate but I had both a vaginal birth and a c-section. The c-section was a last minute decision based on the size of my son but I will say for MY body the c-section recovery was 100x's better than my vaginal delivery recovery.
I went through many difficulties with my vaginal delivery and the c-section was much kinder to me. So, yeah, I would pick a c-section over vaginal any day.