F/U: Teacher post
lilbit923
member
I just talked to Connor and I was really wanting him to open up about how his aide treats him. I would be really floored if she actually called him stupid. He said she doesn't do that. But that is how she makes him feel. He said she has a happy voice, sad voice and an angry voice. The angry voice part made me ask more.
He said when she gets angry with him, which evidently is frequent, she yells at him with "Hurry up!" "You need to go go go!" "If you don't finish this you'll be doing it at recess!" "Stop doing that and get back to work!" I did not sign him up to be belittled in class, yelled at as though she is his mother or debase him in front of his peers. No wonder he cries in class. This answers quite a bit of questions I had.
Connor says the aide reads too fast and it leaves him behind. I don't think she is a suitable aide for him.
Re: F/U: Teacher post
I think my foot is suitable for her behind.
I am so sorry Connor is being treated this way. Parents are supposed to trust these people to encourage their kids who are already struggling.
this.
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This is the aide he has had for the last two years. This has just come to my attention the way she has been allowed to speak to him this way. So I am supposed to subject him to someone who doesn't understand him obviously and just let her speak to him anyway she feels like? Do you know what trouble he will be in at school if he says ANYTHING in response to her? I will get a call that he's talking back to her and he will be reprimanded for "standing up for himself". I've tried to get help from the adminstration recently and was dismissed. I doubt it will help at all.
I'm tired of him telling me he cries in class every day and having the written proof in a note from the teacher that Connor cried because he wouldn't do his work. Learning today that he has been crying in class because he is belittled, that's a different story.
These "trained professionals" appear to know very little about autism and have no official autism training (learned from another teacher tonight), aside from the dyslexia and adhd. I want him to behave and do what he can but I will not allow her to treat him this way. I guess I must have it wrong in expecting his teachers to be kind to him. He can learn to deal with difficult people when he's older and can learn to stand up for himself and not be punished for it. Right now, the only voice he has is me.
I'm all for you showing up to the meeting at 0830 if you're able to get through to them. I've jumped through every hoop they've put in front of me, not gone up there raising hell when I was mad at something they did, I've tried sending emails so my efforts are documented in trying to get some help. We have been in this program since 2006. I'm exhausting every possibility for Connor. I feel very hurt that the school gets nearly $400K a year for 74 special needs kids on top of our school district being one of the highest paid in the state. I will be requesting (highly unlikely that I will get it) once again, a male aide for Connor.
So many parents today think they can go into a school and tell them how to do their job. It was really frustrating as a teacher to be attacked by parents - who feel like they know how to do your job better. It doesn't accomplish much.
I'm sorry if your son feels like he's being mistreated but working with the school and teachers might cause better results.
I am not presuming how to tell the teacher/aide to do her job but I do not work for her. I may not know how to teach but I know how I want my son treated and I do not send him to school to be bullied by a person of authority. That is abuse of the position she holds. I would be willing to bet you would not want your child treated as mine has been.
It's equally frustrating as a parent to try to get help, go through the proper channels to get things done and something like this has gone on without you knowing about it because your child is too scared to say something. I will say not all teachers are like this aide, we have had some wonderful teachers. There are many who truly love their job and it shows in the kids. I get the impression this aide is counting down till retirement and she may very well be tired. If that is the case then perhaps she should no longer have contact with my son.
If this aide sees me telling her not to talk to my child rudely and to have patience with a special needs child as attacking her then, so be it. There hasn't been one request from the school that I haven't come through for. It is my job to put my son's needs before theirs. Their comfort comes second to the safety and wellbeing of my son.
I just listened to my son say his prayers and it hurts my heart to hear him say "Dear Lord, please send an angel again to protect me when I'm at school. I don't want someone to be mean, rude, unkind or selfish to me."
lilbit - I'm so sorry that your son isn't receiving the appropriate assistance in school. I can't even imagine how much it would hurt to feel that you are the only with his best interest at heart. I hope you are able to convince the school to make some adjustments to his program.
Exactly. Thank you. I want Connor to see school as a fun place where he makes new friends, finds kids who might be just like him and learns new things that open his mind to a world of possibilities. He's always so optimistic and sees things in all directions. Lately, he is withdrawn, easily frustrated, angry, and cries often. I do not like being a cop at home, the job stays at the job but when I hear my son pray for protection at school and I know it's about people that should be protecting him...I'm wondering what else is just under the surface. I do NOT want my son continuing to have suicidal thoughts or thinking that death is the only safe place for him. This is NOT ok with me. He's supposed to be a happy kid and worry about being 10. He should not have to worry about how his teachers are going to make him feel in class when he's reminded just how much he's not like the other kids.
It's very sad. I want my son to be able to talk to me about anything that is bothering him. But when I ask then he shuts down. My son is not a rat and I think he sees telling what someone is doing wrong is ratting them out.
We are utilizing every resource available to us at the school, I keep in contact with his main teacher and tutor asking "What else do you need from me? How can I help?" Even his teachers say they see me as a dedicated parent so I hardly believe they view me as trying to tell them how to do their job as pp said. I've brought up tricks I use at home that could possibly help other kids like Connor in spelling and math. Whether the teachers use those methods or not is up to them, but I always offer help where I can.
I'm writing out Connor's case so I can do preparation work before next Monday. I'm not sure how to feel about writing out about my son as though he's one of my cases I work but I think better, get results better when I'm thinking like a cop and not a mother. If I can keep it together in the meeting and not cry or get defensive about how he's been treated then I'm buying myself a cookie afterwards.