Am I being selfish?
vnstacie
member
So, a little back story...
DH works for the railroad, as a conductor, he travels alot. Anyway, we are in Texas bc I wanted to get married in tx and after we were supposed to go back up north. Well then I got pregnant so we decided to stay here bc we wanted good drs and nurses. Anyway... So we are supposed to go back up north, but DH is dragging his feet.
He has a job here, as do I, but I told DH from the beginning that I was going to be a sahm. Which he agreed to.
Now, it's getting down to the wire and we have to start getting ready to move. But DH started talking about staying in Texas instead of going back. Which would mean I would have to go back to work. DH says he is going to miss out on so much of LO growing up and he doesn't want to. But if we stay here, we are basically paying someone else to raise our kid, while we both work our Butts off. I just think why should we both work and put LO in daycare, when I could stay home and raise her and be able to send pics and or video, while he's on the road.
Am I being selfish? DH makes me feel like I am, but I don't think I am. He agrees with me when anyone asks him, but behind closed doors he sings a different tune.
? Voted Cool Cat ~ 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards ?
Re: Am I being selfish?
So if you move, you can be a SAHM but your DH will have to be traveling frequently but if you stay where you are, you both have to work but no one has to travel?
If that is the case, I agree with Amanda and I see both sides. I definitely understand why you want to be a SAHM but I can see why your DH is dragging his feet. Since he agrees with you in front of people, he can probably see why moving would be benificial, but when it comes to actually making the move happen, he likes his situation the way it is. It sounds like you need to talk it out more. Make sure you both try to be objective and weigh your options and pick something you are both comfortable with.
Thank yoU, ladies. Y'all are right we should discuss this further.
Id like to have health insurance, but my employer doesn't offer it and his is waaay too expensive. With his "real" job I would have insurance.
Anyway, I'm usually the only one in the office at my job, so I'd be able to take LO with me, atleast a couple times to see if that goes well or if daycare would be better.
Oh what a decision.
? Voted Cool Cat ~ 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards ?
That's a toughie. I, too, can see both sides. You both definitely have a legitimate argument, but I think I'm a little more on your hubby's side on this one.
My DH missed more than 9 months of DS1's first year of life...and that was absolutely heartbreaking for both of us. While I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to stay at home with DS, I still can't say that I'd choose that over my husband missing so many of our baby's firsts. He missed his first smiles, his first taste of solid food, the first time he crawled, and a million other firsts. Sure, he saw it on video....but it's just not the same. He never really felt like he got to know DS. He never got a chance to bond with him because he was gone so much.
I get your point of view...but I can't help but remember how much it killed me for my husband to miss so much. When he was gone, it was hard to feel like a real family.
All of this. DH was deployed for most of my first pregnancy, and Ella's 1st 7 months of life. I would never want him to miss this time with Connor, no matter what I had to sacrifice.