Starting to re-think this...

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

We're getting ready to start out first try at IVF any day. I start my first meds this week. I didn't think I'd have any problems with this but now I'm starting to second guess it and whether I really want to go through this. My husband said the other day how excited he was to get started and asked if I was too and I told him no, I'm dreading it. I think it's panic over the meds and all the awful side effects I've been reading about. I'm ready to call them and cancel it all. I don't know what to do...

BeeBee08 · October 2011

Only you will know if this is something that you are ready to go for, but I think you need to keep your eye on the prize. We experience a lot of shitty tests, exams, meds, injections, etc, but it's a short-term pain for a huge gain. I would say the side effects are unpleasant at worst, but nothing that you can't get through. You just have to take it one day at a time. Good Luck and keep us posted!

Mitzi Bishi · October 2011

Honestly I think this is part of the struggles with IVF. My husband was also gung ho and I was nervous, angry, and the rest of it.

You can always put it off if you're feeling uncertain.

Is this something you'd regret not doing? I think what encouraged me to do it was the fact that we have a less than 3% chance of getting pregnant each month.

I wanted to know that we did what we could, while we could, and while we were still relatively young, because I know our chances will only continue to get slimmer.

Can you tell your DH about your feelings? I think it makes it seem more polarizing when you have him excited and you're scared out of your mind. You're scared of the process, the injections, going through the ER, and ultimately if it doesn't work. It's normal to feel vulnerable, but I think sometimes the guys don't totally get that aspect.

If it's any consolation the only side effects I had was losing weight and being able to stop biting my fingernails after 25+ years of doing so.

Don't be hard on yourself! This is a very trying thing to go through.

AmCheri · October 2011

When we started round one, my husband was soooo excited. I on the other hand was a hot mess -- I was afraid, angry, depressed, stressed, you name it. Much of that was fear of the unknown. The second cycle has been much less stressful.

The side effects haven't been too bad actually. It was much easier than I had feared.

I get where you're coming from and only you know if you're ready. For me, I hit the point where I accepted we needed to try IVF. That acceptance -- that we need serious help -- made it much easier to endure. As Hansel ( from zoolander) says, sometimes you have to just grip it and rip it. That's what we did, and I'm glad. You are stronger than you know. You can do this.

Mitzi Bishi · October 2011

AmCheri:
As Hansel ( from zoolander) says, sometimes you have to just grip it and rip it. That's what we did, and I'm glad. You are stronger than you know. You can do this.

Great reference. LOL.

You can do this!!

Sloane99 · October 2011

I was really scared of IVF too, I actually hate needles, I still do! I will say that the physical process is really not a big deal and while uncomfortable, it wasn't near as bad as I was thinking at all...it was the emotional one that I think gets to people. Which, if you've been dealing with IF, you obviously are already familiar with. Pick the situation that's going to give you the least regrets, but from starting stims to ER is approximately 2 weeks at most, in the grand scheme of things I knew I could get through 2 weeks.

Good luck with whatever you decide, you do have to feel okay with your decision. If it helps, maybe chat with your REs office or nurse and see if you can pinpoint what you're most scared of so they can help alleviate that.

AmCheri · October 2011

Mitzi Bishi:
AmCheri:
As Hansel ( from zoolander) says, sometimes you have to just grip it and rip it. That's what we did, and I'm glad. You are stronger than you know. You can do this.
Great reference. LOL.
You can do this!!

Glad you liked! The actual quote is, "for me, it's just the way I live my life. I grip it and I rip it.". Lol. I had to take a little artistic license. Love that movie!

DeputiesWife · October 2011

BeeBee08:
Only you will know if this is something that you are ready to go for, but I think you need to keep your eye on the prize. We experience a lot of shitty tests, exams, meds, injections, etc, but it's a short-term pain for a huge gain. I would say the side effects are unpleasant at worst, but nothing that you can't get through. You just have to take it one day at a time. Good Luck and keep us posted!

this exactly.

In the grand scheme of things -- the meds werent that bad. the shots really didnt hurt. the mood swings are what kill me the most.

good luck!

PS - I was scared too and less thrilled than MH.

katt3233 · October 2011

I think it's pretty natural to feel that way! Hang in there, you can do it! And the end result will be worth it! FWIW, I really had no side effects on the meds, and I didn't think the shots were that painful. Good luck!

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

Thanks everyone for the advice & encouragement. I think the main issue for me is the fear of all the medical things like the meds and needles (I have the anger and shock of having to do this too but I don't think that's holding me back from it). I've done IUI and it wasn't bad at all. But I know this will be a lot harder physically. I hear how painful the needles are and how miserable it is around the ER time and it makes it pretty scary. But I know if we're going to have a baby, this is what has to be done. And my RE has recommended it be soon since I have DOR. I think the fact that we're also trying to adopt pushes me toward saying I don't want to do it. It's kind of like I'm thinking, we'll adopt and have children so maybe I don't need to do this. But it's always been my dream to grow our family by adoption and biologically. And I want to experience pregnancy and going through it with my husband. So I do need to keep remembering it's only short term and the result is worth it.

Delta04 · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
Thanks everyone for the advice & encouragement. I think the main issue for me is the fear of all the medical things like the meds and needles (I have the anger and shock of having to do this too but I don't think that's holding me back from it). I've done IUI and it wasn't bad at all. But I know this will be a lot harder physically. I hear how painful the needles are and how miserable it is around the ER time and it makes it pretty scary. But I know if we're going to have a baby, this is what has to be done. And my RE has recommended it be soon since I have DOR. I think the fact that we're also trying to adopt pushes me toward saying I don't want to do it. It's kind of like I'm thinking, we'll adopt and have children so maybe I don't need to do this. But it's always been my dream to grow our family by adoption and biologically. And I want to experience pregnancy and going through it with my husband. So I do need to keep remembering it's only short term and the result is worth it.

THIS and ditto the ladies above. This IF journey can be overwhelming to say the least. I never thought I could ever give myself shots but here I am 3 IVFs later getting ready to do it again...and all because I want to me a mom. I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there - it does get easier.

AmCheri · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
Thanks everyone for the advice & encouragement. I think the main issue for me is the fear of all the medical things like the meds and needles (I have the anger and shock of having to do this too but I don't think that's holding me back from it). I've done IUI and it wasn't bad at all. But I know this will be a lot harder physically. I hear how painful the needles are and how miserable it is around the ER time and it makes it pretty scary. But I know if we're going to have a baby, this is what has to be done. And my RE has recommended it be soon since I have DOR. I think the fact that we're also trying to adopt pushes me toward saying I don't want to do it. It's kind of like I'm thinking, we'll adopt and have children so maybe I don't need to do this. But it's always been my dream to grow our family by adoption and biologically. And I want to experience pregnancy and going through it with my husband. So I do need to keep remembering it's only short term and the result is worth it.

Tiffany, the needles really aren't bad. I have DOR too and I'm just finishing up EPP which means Ganirelix injections. I've been told that Gani has the worst needle, and even that didn't bother me. I have some other tips for helping you get through the injections if you'd like to know. Trust me when I say you can totally do this.

Also with respect to the time leading up to ER, speaking as someone with DOR, it's really not that bad because I don't have a ton of follies -- a silver lining, lol. It's a bit uncomfortable but it's not painful and the discomfort is manageable. Just remember that a couple of weeks is a blip on the radar. It'll be over before you know it.

bluefish63 · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
We're getting ready to start out first try at IVF any day. I start my first meds this week. I didn't think I'd have any problems with this but now I'm starting to second guess it and whether I really want to go through this. My husband said the other day how excited he was to get started and asked if I was too and I told him no, I'm dreading it. I think it's panic over the meds and all the awful side effects I've been reading about. I'm ready to call them and cancel it all. I don't know what to do...

In that case, don't read my post and regretting IVF yesterday! It's true that only you will know if it's something you are ready for. It's your body and you need to understand and know the truth about everything that's about to happen. That being said, I feel that when you're ready, you will know. At least, that is how it was with me. I will also say that despite all my misery of the past 4 days, I turned a corner last night and it has helped turn my outlook around tremendously. You will have emotional dips and your positivity will ebb but there will be a lot of times when it will flow because there are so many opportunities for victories to be celebrated along the journey. Good luck in your decision! (I feel bad for being so honest in my post yesterday but the last thing I want to do is sugar coat anything because IVF is rough - no doubt about it!) but it can lead to such a beautiful outcome too.

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

AmCheri - I am terrified of needles so any advice is appreciated. I can handle the Subq ones in the stomach. I did those with IUI. It's the intramuscular ones I'm dreading.

And I hadn't thought about having fewer follies with DOR so maybe that will be a small help.

AmCheri · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
AmCheri - I am terrified of needles so any advice is appreciated. I can handle the Subq ones in the stomach. I did those with IUI. It's the intramuscular ones I'm dreading.
And I hadn't thought about having fewer follies with DOR so maybe that will be a small help.

Did you ever have an IM trigger? No sweat, right?

For progesterone, there's a few thing you can do. Instead of PIO ask about progesterone in ethyl oleate. It's less viscous than PIO and is absorbed more easily -- read less bumps and bruises. You can also use a slightly smaller gauge needle with ethyl oleate and ice beforehand is perfectly fine.

When you're injecting, it helps to do two things. First grab onto something with both hands and keep a tight grip. For stims, I grab the back of the chair. Right before the injection, take a deep breath in and then blow out in a long controlled manner. It also helps to make some noise as you're exhaling. I don't mean yelling, but something again in a controlled consistent manner. Sounds goofy, but it's true.

Remember, this too shall pass!

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

Thanks for the advice. I've never had IM anything before. I did one round of IUI with injections and they were all subq and in the stomach area.

AmCheri · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
Thanks for the advice. I've never had IM anything before. I did one round of IUI with injections and they were all subq and in the stomach area.

The IM shot isn't harder to give than subq. But you can expect a little more soreness in the hours following an IM shot.

Mitzi Bishi · October 2011

AmCheri:
Tiffany0614:
Thanks for the advice. I've never had IM anything before. I did one round of IUI with injections and they were all subq and in the stomach area.
The IM shot isn't harder to give than subq. But you can expect a little more soreness in the hours following an IM shot.

My trigger isn't IM... I never had to do an IM shot either.

AmCheri · October 2011

Mitzi Bishi:
AmCheri:
Tiffany0614:
Thanks for the advice. I've never had IM anything before. I did one round of IUI with injections and they were all subq and in the stomach area.
The IM shot isn't harder to give than subq. But you can expect a little more soreness in the hours following an IM shot.
My trigger isn't IM... I never had to do an IM shot either.

When I was wasting my time with clomid, my triggers were IM. I always had a nurse give me the shot though. Just figured that was normal. Guess not.

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

It seems like my protocol is really different. I hear everyone talking about BCP and Lupron. Because of my DOR, no BCP for me and they've never mentioned Lupron. My first med will be a pill, estrace.

Ann679 · October 2011

AmCheri:

Tiffany0614:
Thanks for the advice. I've never had IM anything before. I did one round of IUI with injections and they were all subq and in the stomach area.

The IM shot isn't harder to give than subq. But you can expect a little more soreness in the hours following an IM shot.

This! I had myself completely worked up and nauseous from nerves all day before my trigger shot. It was nothing. It was so easy. DH did it and it was over before I even knew it. My muscle was a little sore the next day. As for the PIO, DH made sure to rub the spot after the shot to help the meds disapate so it wasn't sore later. The actual shots got easy. They were just something you had to do and was over in a minute.

Don't let the our posts about how bad it is scare you off. It was so bad, people wouldn't do it multiple times. Like you said, it's only a short amount of time. I was sore for a day after the ER. The worst part of the ET was having to lay on the table for the 20 minutes after the procedure with a full bladder. The actual procedure was easy and pain free.

Only you really know if you are up for doing IVF. It's a big toll on your body physically and emotionally. You're stronger than you think and can get through it!! We're here for you! Good luck

Ann679 · October 2011

Tiffany0614:
It seems like my protocol is really different. I hear everyone talking about BCP and Lupron. Because of my DOR, no BCP for me and they've never mentioned Lupron. My first med will be a pill, estrace.

Do you know what protocol you will be on? I started with BCP for both. The first one used Ganirelex and this one will use Lupron. I'll use Bravelle and Menopur for my stim medication again this time.

Tiffany0614 · October 2011

My doctor's call it a short protocol or french protocol. I know I start with estrace. I have Gonal F, Novarel, Ganirelix, Menopur and Progesterone. I'm still not clear on what each does. I need to ask my RE more questions but I feel bad. I'm emailing her all the time with questions it seems.

AmCheri · October 2011

Tiffany, I have DOR and just finished up EPP stims. You're starting with estrace, so I'm guessing you're doing EPP, too. No Lupron and no birth control. It's a more aggressive protocol that is often used for patients with DOR.

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