I feel insensitive (venting) — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I feel insensitive (venting)

Yesterday my husband got mad at me for not being more loving and encouraging during our weekend without power and fallen trees and It made me upset that he would dare to get angry with me while I wait to miscarry. In retrospect, I know marriage is a two-way street and his feelings are always valid because it's how he feels but man did that get to me! Angd now this morning my mom comes to stay with us (she knows about the pregnancy) and she is crying and upset about the fact we are renting the house from her and we've left three boxes of art packed. Really?  I just don't understand how leaving a few boxes in a corner is complete disrespect and why it is important with everything else going on right now. I think this whole experience has me feeling apathetic which is probably not a good thing for my loved ones.  I am going to try and be more caring since they are my greatest supports but it's really difficult to get out of my current mindset right now. Ok, venting over. I just needed to let it out somewhere!  Thanks for listening/reading!
BFP #1 on 10/2/11 - Bambishka's EDD 6/5/12, Blighted Ovum, D&C on 11/9/11
BFP #2 on 2/10/12 - Little Nugget's EDD 10/23/12, Natural Miscarriage on 2/29/12
BFP #3 on 6/7/12 - BB's EDD 2/19/13, arrived 2/18/13! <3<BR> Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: I feel insensitive (venting)

  • It is tough to remember that m/c affects the whole family.  My DH and I got in the worst fight of our relationship during my last m/c...it was absolutely horrible, but it was just the stress and grief coming to a head.  I wonder if your mother was also having some bizarre reaction to your miscarriage, has she been able to express any sadness or anything?  Maybe she took out her frustrations on your stupid moving boxes?  Sorry you have to deal with this...I wish everyone would give you guys a break. You deserve a little TLC right now.
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  • Yep, my husband and I had a big drama fight on Friday and that is not like us at all.  He told me, "Well, I think you've officially reached the anger stage."  We don't fight often and when we do it's pretty low key and over with quickly.  It's just part of the whole crappy deal I think. :(  Emotions are so high with this type of loss and it's normal to not be on the same page as your husband. 

     Apathy is a scary emotion (at least for me).  I know everyone is different, but last week I had moments where I felt empty and just "nothing" and it helped me to turn to this board.  I know it's unfortunate that there's others experiencing the same pain I am, but reading others sad stories made me feel their sadness, and to me, feeling sad is better than feeling nothing.  I don't want to tell you how to feel or what to do, but just know that whatever emotion you are feeling is normal and allow yourself to feel that way.  (((Hugs)))

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    ~BFP #1 9/17/11 ~ Miscarried 9 weeks~


    ~BFP #2 3/5/12 ~ EDD 11/17/2012~ Stick Baby Stick! It's a girl!




    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/32aae4]My Ovulation Chart[/url]





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  • Yep - we had a huge fight too! Well see this is making me feel better! LOL

    Seriously though, you aren't insensitive, you're NORMAL. Vent away!

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  • image LivingItUpInUP:

     Apathy is a scary emotion (at least for me).  I know everyone is different, but last week I had moments where I felt empty and just "nothing" and it helped me to turn to this board. 

    THIS!!! I have had major moments of this also - and it SCARED me to death. I also found it helpful to be on here, engaging with other women and reading their stories. It helped me process what I was feeling.

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  • I'm hiding out from everyone, including the hubs.  I find the more I talk about it, the more angry I sound, and people don't want to hear it. So the hubs gets to hear how upset I am about the miscarriage (crying, venting), but we aren't around each other to pick on each other about anything else (house stuff, etc). He goes downstairs and plays whatever on his Xbox and I stay upstairs in our room. He's been great, checking on me and stuff, but giving me time to myself too.
    Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine. -- unknown
  • Thank you for the responses!  I don't feel like such a monster now. Being on this board definitely helps!  
    BFP #1 on 10/2/11 - Bambishka's EDD 6/5/12, Blighted Ovum, D&C on 11/9/11
    BFP #2 on 2/10/12 - Little Nugget's EDD 10/23/12, Natural Miscarriage on 2/29/12
    BFP #3 on 6/7/12 - BB's EDD 2/19/13, arrived 2/18/13! <3<BR> Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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