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Working Moms
2BMrsMcW
member
Paternity leave - how long?
2BMrsMcW
member
in Working Moms
Thought this might be a good place to ask... If your husband/SO works full time, how much time did he/will he take off for the birth of the child?
DH keeps asking me how much time he should request and I don't know what to tell him. We have a good chance for a c-section, and I know that I will need more help in that scenario. He was shocked that his co-worker only took one week after his daughter's birth, and DH expects to take more. Any time he takes will either be unpaid or drain his vacation time. I don't know what to tell him! Any thoughts?
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Re: Paternity leave - how long?
My DH took one week off & my step-mom (who is retired) helped me for another week post partem. The first two weeks were the only weeks I really wanted help since my doctor told me that I could not drive for 2 weeks. Once that timeframe elapsed, I was fine after that. (but did welcome any help that anyone offered)
It's really up to what you & your DH want. It might be totally worth it to your DH to burn up his vacation time to stay home with you & the baby.
My DH took 12 weeks. It was a HUGE help and HUGE blessing especially because Harper was in the NICU for 5 weeks and we moved when the girls were 3 weeks old (one at home already). With that said, he'd been saving his sick time from the time he started this job. He had over 20 weeks of sick time saved so his 12 weeks was all paid and his job protected under FMLA.
With a non-preemie singleton baby (if we ever have more kids) we've talked that him taking 4 weeks off would be perfect.
You have to figure out what you call can swing - if he takes some of it unpaid, or what have you.
But I really wish fathers could more easily get a few weeks off when the baby comes. Everyone focuses on the mom, but I think this is a really important time for the dad too. I think the more time a new dad can spend around their child at the beginning helps them "buy in" to the baby more quickly and gets them up and running as an equal partner quicker. I just feel like it helps them hit the ground running!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
2 days with my first, 1 day with my second. But I had relatively uncomplicated vaginal deliveries with both kids, and my mom flew into town right away and stayed 2 wks with both.
DH works in a field where it's not the norm to take paternity leave (surgeon), but in the event that either myself or the children had a health issue, his partners would cover for him in a heartbeat.
My coworkers (other teachers) who took paternity leave when their wives had babies, took 2 weeks. I think they used saved-up sick days.
My husband is a musician with a weird schedule. He didn't take leave - he just missed the one rehearsal the night I gave birth. He was working the next night and my mom drove DD & I home from the hospital.
Well the thing is father's CAN take 12 weeks off unpaid under FMLA, just like the mother. The reason that mothers can often take some that time as PAID time is because it falls under medical disability due to the birth, which obviously fathers don't need.
DH doesn't get any actual paternity leave, it's all based on how much vacation he has and how much he wants to take. He gets 4 weeks vacation. He took 2 weeks off when DS was born. He wishes he would have taken 3 weeks off because he now has a week of vacation that he needs to use before the end of the year. He pretty much saved my sanity because I ended up having a c/s. That first week home he literally did everything for me. He made me breakfast, lunch and dinner. He brought me whatever I needed. We live in a two story house and because I could only do stairs one time a day, I lived upstairs for the first part of the day and the other half downstairs.
Also, I don't know how his vacation works or when you're due, but here was our sinerio:
had DS April 24th. DH took 2 weeks of his 4 weeks when he was born. We always take off the week between Xmas and new years, so that's another week. Since my busy season for work is in the summer, we can't take any vacation between July and November so, like I said before, that other week is basically wasted for him because his busy time is November and December. So if you think ahead and he won't need his vacation time (if he uses or loses it), then maybe it's okay to drain all the vacation. Sorry, i know this is long!!! HTH!
I was induced 4 weeks early due to medical issues. DH had 2 weeks of paid vacation per year, plus floating holiday & personal days equal to 5 days. Besides being induced, I had a relatively easy, complication free vaginal birth. DH took 1 week paid vacation and 1 week unpaid (both covered under FMLA). We would have liked for him to take more time, but it would had to have been unpaid and we could not have afforded it. My MIL came down to help after DH went back to work. I think she stayed for a week or two.
Originally, he was only going to take 1 week, but we were both so glad that he took 2. It gave us time to bond with the baby and with each other. For the first 4 weeks of life, we supplemented DD with breastmilk after every feeding. So, I would feed DD and then I would pump while DH fed DD. Initially, it took DD 1 hour to eat. I was so glad that DH was home to help.
Thanks Everyone. We were thinking 2 weeks, and that sounds like it is a pretty standard amount of time.
Unfortunately (at least for this situation), DH is the second in command of his department, and his boss is having major surgery soon and may have to take leave that overlaps our due date. I am pushing him to get all of this straightened out now so his company can have a plan in place if everything gets crazy at once. He does have the option of taking the FMLA leave, and we can afford to be without his salary for a few weeks, but it just seems like there is no way he could pull it off.
Thanks again for sharing!
My husband took two weeks. I had a vaginal birth. Then, I went back to work when DD was about 6 months; my husband took a month off and cared for her. Then she went to day care after that.
All time off was 100% paid.
My little goofball born 1/2012
I happened to give birth on the first day of my DH's one week vacation between residency and fellowship. So the poor guy was on his way home to get some much needed sleep and I had to page him and tell him to pack up my stuff. It was nice to have him there but once we got into the routine, it was no big deal that he went back to work.
I think if he does get paternity leave this time around, I may choose for him to have weeks different than mine (like at the end of my leave) to extend the baby's time at home.