Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
are you a parent?
or do you have kids? I giggled at theses questions last week but now it hurts so bad.
on one hand no, I dont have any children at home that I can show people pictures of or tell them a story but on the other hand, yes, I carried a baby in my body and I still love him or her with all my heart so I would say that I am a mother and my husband is a father.
feelings? opinions?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: are you a parent?
It's really funny you bring this up. I had a parent conference yesterday and the mom was 9 months pregnant. At the end of our conference, she asked me if I had children and I said no. She asked me if I wanted children, and I paused. I just wanted to cry and tell her I carried a baby for 3 months, but its gone now. I just smiled and said yes, I hope one day to have children. I was devastated after. I really don't know how you respond to that question. I know that is not the last time I'm going to be asked either. It sucks!
( I know in my heart, I was a mom and had a baby, though now its no longer with me. I will never forget my baby and how much joy it brought to me for those three months.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. You're not alone. **Hugs**
DS siggy warning.
Funny, despite NOW "officially" being a parent I can remember asking myself these questions before my DS.
I've had multiple losses and after a point I just started being point blank with people. Not to be mean but to make people think about what they say before they say it (PP).
After the first loss I had I wondered this and determined that I loved my baby, thats what made me a mother. I grieved for that child I lost and the others that followed. There is no doubt in my mind that we are all mothers! Unfortantely our babies were too beautiful for Earth!!
HUGS!!!
12.6.07 CP at 5w
5.21.08 BO discovered at 7w, D&E at 8w3d
8.31.08 CP at 4w5d
BFP Sept 25, 2008 bfp buddy lkstor Landon born June 6, 2009
3.25.11 missed m/c discovered at 9w6d, D&E at 10w2d
4.28.11 MTHFR a1298c homozygous discovered
4.2011 Began NaProTechnology
10.12.11 Diagnosed with Type III Luteal Phase Defect
10.2011 Starting hcg injections on 5, 7 & 9 dpo
BFP 12.7.11 - EDD 8.14.12 - IT'S A BOY! Fruit Baby
Life During and After RPL
I have actually been thinking a lot about this question. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I felt like I became a mom....now, even though our baby is gone, I still feel like a mom, only without a baby....
I work in pediatrics, so this is a question that comes up a lot in conversation; most of the time it's just people chit-chatting, but sometimes parents will use it in this context: "Do you have kids? No? Well then, how can you take care of my child? Or know how hard it is to see them get a shot?". I am dreading this, as I honestly don't know what I am going to say....do you say No, even though I will feel like I am lying to myself? Or do I just say: "We're recovering from a loss." or "We're hoping to someday?".
Hugs to all of you that are having to ponder this too.
BFP #1 ~ EDD 5.20.2012 ~ MC 10.1.2011
BFP #2 ~ EDD 11.15.2012 ~ CP 3.7.2012
BFP #3 ~ DS born 12.03.2012
FF Chart
I think I've reached that point where I want to be point blank too... What do you say?
I have so much to say to people that ask me the same questions over & over & over again "When are you going to have kids?": I don't know!! "Are you trying?": You mean, are we having unprotected sex? Really? That is none of your business! I kind of want to have an awesome go-to response for these questions, so that I don't burst into tears ...or slap them lol