Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion
Options

Two Calls in Two Weeks!

Katybug_hKatybug_h
in Adoption

Two weeks...that's how long it's been since we became licensed (foster-to-adopt).  In those two weeks we've already had two phone calls about potential adoptive placements.  

Both times we've turned them down.

 It's been tough having to make a decision that so strongly impacts another person's life.  All kids deserve to have a family, and it's been so difficult having to walk away.  

In both situations, the children were either out of our age range or had significant behavior issues.  I knew making this type of decision would be tough, but I didn't realize just how difficult (and emotionally exhausting) it would be.  

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we continue to wait for our child(ren).  Thanks!    

My Blog: Seasons of Life
Report Reply to Post

Re: Two Calls in Two Weeks!

  • Options
    Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    T&Ps

    We had to turn down an opportunity to be shown for domestic adoption too. We felt horrible, but our SW assured us that it would be worse to end up in a situation that was bad for everyone involved.

    GL to you.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    militarywife2bmilitarywife2b
    T&P sent your way. We never got to the point to get calls but I worried I would say yes to all of them.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    Mrs.KLFMrs.KLF member

    imagemilitarywife2b:
    T&P sent your way. We never got to the point to get calls but I worried I would say yes to all of them.

     

    We aren't licensed yet either, but I worry I'll say yes to all of them too! T&P to you OP.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lucky507Lucky507
    You have to remember that you can only do what you feel comfortable with.  In my experience case workers tend to sugar coat the needs of many of the children so if what they were telling you seemed like too much than you made the right decision.  You also have to keep in mind that when foster children are moved there is often regression in behavior and more.  If you get in over your head then you are really doing a disservice to everyone especially the kids.  You are making the right decisions and when the right situation comes along, you will know it.
    started Foster care process 5/2010, Placed with 1st foster son 9/2010, Starting the adopting process as a single mom 10/2011, Adoption finalized 6/2012: proud momma to a great 6 year old!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mommytoconnormommytoconnor member
    I have been in this situation too and it's so hard.  You want to say yes to all of them but in the end you need to know what you and your family are prepared to handle. You don't want to bring a child to your home and then have to send them away, they suffer so much feeling like people dont want them that you certainly don't want to add to this,  It's better all around to say no at the beginning.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Don't worry, the right child is out there waiting for you and it will feel right.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Katybug_hKatybug_h
    imageMrs.KLF:

    imagemilitarywife2b:
    T&P sent your way. We never got to the point to get calls but I worried I would say yes to all of them.

     

    We aren't licensed yet either, but I worry I'll say yes to all of them too! T&P to you OP.

    Yeah, I'm the same way.  Before we were licensed, DH and I had a major discussion that involved me agreeing to look at every situation rationally, and not throwing out the "but they need a home" card.  I'm so glad I have him, because he definitely helps me stay focused on the situation at hand, and to think rationally about whether or not the possible placement is the best fit for our family. 

    My Blog: Seasons of Life
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Katybug_hKatybug_h

    Thank you for all the replies!  As difficult as it was, I know we did the right thing for them and us.

     

    My Blog: Seasons of Life
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"