Hi all, I need somewhere to talk and I figure Friday is a good day to do it.
When we first met, SO said she was/felt transgender, but didn't plan on transitioning.
A year later, she has since decided she wants to transition. She didn't know about testosterone therapy - I dont know how that's possible since even I knew about T therapy, but that's neither here nor there. My initial reaction was "no way are you doing that in this house with my son. He's already had major issues with me "coming out" and starting a relationship with a woman. Now you want to transition and expect him to figure THAT out?! I have enough issues of my own (as do you)". Needless to say, she was very hurt by this. I did reassure her I would be there for her/support her, but I just couldn't allow my son to be affected again. I certainly would not want to stand in the way of anybody's transition and was fully prepared to lose the relationship even if it hurt me to do so.
We agreed that she should at least go to counseling. She found a therapist that specializes in gender issues in the area and had her first session yesterday. I am glad she will have somebody to talk to.
So what's my point? I'm not even sure.
J reads to my DS every night before bed. I heard them talking one day and something was said about her being or acting like a man. My DS seemed greatly relieved as was all "ALL MY PROBLEMS WOULD BE OVER!!". Yeah kid. Whatever.
I guess I don't know how to progress from here. I know I need to see a therapist. I just need somewhere to vent in the meantime I guess and this seems like a supportive place. I have my own issues around the transition...like.... I like women. I find women's bodies beautiful and men....eh, not so much. I don't like stubble. And the very first thing FTMs seem to want to do is grow that scraggly ass facial hair. Like it is a badge of manhood. I love J, as a person/soul, so I don't worry about becoming unattracted, but in a period where I was already questioning and having issues around MY "coming out", now I have to figure out how I feel about being with a woman becoming a man. It just seems overwhelming today.
(and, yes, I realize my pronouns of J are all wrong. Proof that Im not there yet, I suppose)