It's been a week since I found out about my ectopic pregnancy. I got the methotrexate injection the day I found out (last Friday). I feel like I had been doing well, all things considered. I was feeling better with each passing day, both physically and emotionally.
My doctor called me today. My bloodwork from yesterday showed my HCG levels have not gone down. I had to go back today for a second round of methotrexate. I feel angry and guilty and sad. My body isn't doing a damn thing I want it to! I feel like this is such a setback; in getting my body on its regular cycle, in eventually TTC again. And I feel like this is kind of sick to think of/feel, but all I can picture is this little tiny bean in me holding on for dear life, but because it's not in the right place, I'M attacking it with medication (sorry if that visual bothers anyone).
And frankly, I'm tired of going back to the doctor's office for bloodwork. I'm not going for a good reason, ya know? I have to go because of this sad event in my life.
I haven't taken any prenatal vitamins since I found out. It just feels like a slap in the face to keep taking it. (I found out today that folic acid can affect the methotrexate - so I guess it's good that I stopped). I'll start them again soon enough.
Does anyone have any good jokes?