Why does everyone have to ask now?

mijakach · October 2011

I got married almost 2 years ago. I got the occasional "when are you having kids" and "are you pregnant yet" type questions, but surprisingly people didn't ask that often...until my miscarriage. It has now been 4 weeks since my m/c and I swear people won't stop asking me those questions!

I have a doctor that I go to a few times a year so a lot of the people there know me and that I got married 2 years ago. While I was waiting in the room for the doctor, one of the assistants decides to ask me "so any babies yet?" I'm getting so sick and tired of brushing off those questions as if they don't bother me so stupid me blurted out "I just had a miscarriage." Of course she felt really bad about it and kept apologizing. And then I mentioned that everyone has been asking me that question recently and I feel like just telling them so they won't ask again. This made her feel even worse which made me feel like an *** for making her bad. And then on top of that, another assistant in the room at the time decided to say that for some women, their bellies can't handle a pregnancy. Like gee thanks, that made me feel a whole lot better.

Not many people IRL know about my m/c and for those that do, I don't want to keep talking about my m/c to them because I'm sure they're getting sick of it. So I'm glad I can talk about all my vents and frustrations here since all of you will listen and can relate. So thanks for listening.

kevinandmonica2011 · October 2011

((big hugs))... it's amazing how many people think that YOUR uterus/family planning is THEIR business and that any intrusive questions are fair game because you have been married x number of months or years. Sheesh

Vent away... we are here to listen and can definitely relate

FreyaWin2382 · October 2011

Ugh, that sucks. And shame on that "helpful" assistant with the gem about how "some women's bellies can't handle pregnancy", nice.

I am sorry that you are having to be placed in this position, it does get really tiring trying to figure out what to say....I have blurted the m/c out a few times too, just to shut people up, but it is very hard especially when people then start apologizing.

And vent away!! Hugs to you!

mijakach · October 2011

Thanks ladies. Part of me wants to just say on FB for people to stop asking me that stupid question since it's none of their business whether I have kids now, later, or never! But then I'd probably get lots of questions just from posting that.

VineyardMel · October 2011

((Hugs)) It feels like there are land mines everywhere, doesn't it?

orangegoggles · October 2011

VineyardMel:
((Hugs)) It feels like there are land mines everywhere, doesn't it?

I agree! Every day there is something... Hugs to you!

chop2428 · October 2011

It sucks because it almost a constant reminder that your "supposed" to have a baby. I been feeling the same way too lately. Every time someone asks how old DD is, I tell them and they say "Oh, it's about time for another." I hope it gets a little easier fir you soon. HUGS

[Deleted User] · October 2011

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CdnFarmGirl08 · October 2011

I'm sorry! I'm tired of it too.

I'm about ready to tell our friends too. They know we are TTC, but don't know about our m/c. There are not trying to be hurtful, so I think that if I nicely tell them, they will understand.

mijakach · October 2011

Thanks everyone.

fingerscrossed8:

I'm sorry! I'm tired of it too.

I'm about ready to tell our friends too. They know we are TTC, but don't know about our m/c. There are not trying to be hurtful, so I think that if I nicely tell them, they will understand.

That's the thing, I know people aren't trying to be hurtful when they ask the question. But I wish they would know that there's just certain things you don't ask people because they're personal questions.

Mel_B09 · October 2011

I have been feeling the same way too... I just want to punch people who ask "so when is it your turn?" I have one friend that has a theory that i am next as everyone that was in her wedding party is now prego except for me. Little does she we were 10 weeks apart before my m/c. It really sucks..

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