Lack of motivation...

orangegoggles · October 2011

Anyone feel that after their loss they are zero motivation? I feel as though I used to be so productive. I went to the gym religiously, cleaned my house, visited with friends and family, read a good book, etc. I feel as though I have lost all motivation. Work is crazy right now but I really haven't done anything worth while. I don't feel as though I am depressed in any way but I just haven't been "getting things done" since August. I suppose it is part of the process but... how do you motivate yourself? What "things" have you done or started planning for?

Girolle · October 2011

I had the same problem, I guess the best advice I have is to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up about it. Find something you like to do even if it is not what you "should" be doing and do it. Doing anything is a great way to start. I spent a lot of time doing fun cooking projects and making plans with friends to get out of the house instead of accomplishing things like cleaning the house/ work at the beginning. This cartoon is pretty great (although I know you are not talking about serious depression, the self-criticism is pretty dead on.):

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

Good luck, it will get better.

mikeANDjen448 · October 2011

I think it's PERFECTLY natural after you experience a mc to feel this way! I know I did. I also proceeded to gain weight which, now that I am finally out of the funk, have been working on getting rid of. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone handles this a little bit differently but you are absolutely doing nothing wrong. You will get through it. Grieving has different forms for all of us. (((hugs)))

linfor2 · October 2011

mikeANDjen448:
I think it's PERFECTLY natural after you experience a mc to feel this way! I know I did. I also proceeded to gain weight which, now that I am finally out of the funk, have been working on getting rid of. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone handles this a little bit differently but you are absolutely doing nothing wrong. You will get through it. Grieving has different forms for all of us. (((hugs)))

This! Exactly for me too!

carcrashheart · October 2011

i have been feeling the same way. i dread going to work, i dread being at home, i dread the wknds (bc i'm so unmotivated i get bored and fed up with feeling sad), i just dread everything. i would sleep all weekend if my body didn't seem to hate sleep so much!

kevinandmonica2011 · October 2011

((big hugs))... it does get better.

A few things that may help... are you a list person? Make a list of a few small things that you want to accomplish each day. The post with "Goals for Today" is a great motivator for me. Even if I don't post, I try to make note of a few things that I want to accomplish that day. baby steps. It may be something as simple as vacuum one room or make dinner. Then go from there. It feels good to cross things off my list and getting to cross one off usually motivates me to do another.

Also, if you haven't already, maybe consider talking to someone... a therapist or counselor or support group. While many women are able to "bounce back" after such a heartbreaking event, some just don't uite get back to normal... and there is no shame in that. Sometimes a few sessions with a therapist will help you get back on track or it may be hormonal and medication may be needed. It may be worthwhile to give counseling a shot if you are feeling like your motivation/lack of energy is really affecting your life.

((big hugs))... sending you healing and motivating thoughts.

mijakach · October 2011

Yes, definitely. The worst is that right after my m/c was one of my busiest times at work. I had no motivation to do anything but I had to suck it up and work hard.

I also haven't been doing much around the house. I think in the past 4 weeks I've done laundry and dishes once. But thankfully I have a DH who is really supportive and has been picking up on a lot of my slack.

orangegoggles · October 2011

Thanks everyone! Glad to hear it is somewhat of a normal thing to through. Thanks for the advice

chop2428 · October 2011

Right there with ya. I keep telling myself that at least I can try to lose some weight now that have to TTA for three months.I have yet to exercise once or make eny effort to eat healthy. I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon!

aadewitt · October 2011

for the 1st few weeks after my m/c I felt the same way. I wasn't even allowed to work out for 2 weeks after my m/c per the Dr. One way to get myself back on track was to find a race that I could train for (I am a runner). It honestly really helped get me back to being me. I will say that the days that I am hit hard with emotions (finding out about another friends pg...) I do seem to lack motivation, but I have been doing so well that I try and push through it.

Hopefully youll find your light again- just give it time and youll start feeling like your old self again!

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