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I really miss Anna's birthmom

alisonemmaalisonemma
in Adoption

I find myself really missing Anna's birthmother.  I haven't talked to her in months, and I'm a little bit afraid to.  We saw quite a bit of each other while she was pregnant, and Anna looks so much like her, so I'm reminded of her daily.  

She has so many issues with anger, and insecurities, and entitlement (she isn't a young girl, either, she's 31), so it is difficult to have a relationship with her.  The last time we spoke, she told me never to talk to her again (this was probably 5 months ago).  She is bipolar, so sometimes she gushes about how thankful she is that we have adopted Anna, and other times she curses us and says that she wishes she never had picked us (because we would not, on the advice of the adoption agency, loan her $200 to pay rent).  It is really sad.  I try not to take it personally, as I know she has gone through a lot more in life than I ever will.  

I guess I want to reach out to her and find out how she is doing.  I really care about her and want the best for her and her fiance (Anna's BF).  But I'm afraid I'll piss her off.  I did send her Anna's 6 month pics and a letter, asking her how she was doing, if they've moved like they planned to, but I haven't heard anything.  I'm not sure if I should press the issue.  But I think about her so often. 

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Re: I really miss Anna's birthmom

  • MrsKolasaMrsKolasa

    I could have written this. Luke is almost two so it's a bit different now.

    I can't login much to reply, but I do lurk on the board. Please email me anytime

    josiekolasa (at) gmail (dot) com

    So sorry you're in this hard place too.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Moved to Domestic Adoption 9/09 Matched 10/09 Sweet little Luke was born 12/9/09!
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  • baze2baze2
    imagefredalina:

    I'm so sorry for everyone involved!  It must be so hard to have a very open relationship and lose that.

    My advice is to write her letters when you're thinking of her.  And then hold onto them in case you ever re-open relationships and you can share them then, and she'll know what she means to you and your family.  And, if not, you can share them with Anna down the road so she knows how much her birthfamily and heritage mean to you.

    Oh Fred, This is a beautiful idea. How creative and meaningful.

     

    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
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  • alisonemmaalisonemma
    imagebaze2:
    imagefredalina:

    I'm so sorry for everyone involved!  It must be so hard to have a very open relationship and lose that.

    My advice is to write her letters when you're thinking of her.  And then hold onto them in case you ever re-open relationships and you can share them then, and she'll know what she means to you and your family.  And, if not, you can share them with Anna down the road so she knows how much her birthfamily and heritage mean to you.

    Oh Fred, This is a beautiful idea. How creative and meaningful.

     

    I really like this, too. 

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